Utter Darkness - Preface

I was left with no choice. I knew that I would become a monster again. There was only Bella. Her life meant more to me than my own. I closed my eyes and my teeth tore through the girl's soft, white throat. The blood filled my mouth and I began to drink. Somewhere in my bloodlust frenzy, I could hear Bella screaming….

Chapter One

Venice had been such an idyll for Bella and I. Overcast days were spent wandering through the city. I got to show her all my favorite old churches. She would tease me relentlessly about the fact that I was drawn to them when I had such conviction that my soul was already in jeopardy. We took in the arts, shopped various street vendors, and closed out our days in our huge bed delighting in one another's bodies.

We could no longer postpone the inevitable.

Venice was only a distraction. We had been summoned by Aro once again.

In the interest of maintaining the peace and protecting our daughter, Bella and I accepted his invitation. Selfishly, I wanted some time with Bella alone before making the journey back to Volterra. Bella and I reluctantly closed up the palazzo and started on our journey.

Once we got to the car, we were both silent and pensive. The cypress and olive trees flew past in a blur. I was not getting any pleasure from being able to drive as quickly as I was. I reached over to Bella and put my hand in hers. She lightly traced the pattern of my veins in my hand. It always brought back the memories of the first day we shared in the meadow back home. The day that permanently changed the both of us forever.

"Edward, the silence is killing me. Say something. Anything.", Bella pleaded with me.

I turned to look at her beautiful, heart shaped face. God. I wanted more than anything to plunge my hands in her hair, pull her face to mine and kiss that succulent mouth of hers. Kisses of reassurance. But I knew that if I did that it's only purpose was to delay her, distract her from her fear. I had no desire to share with her the extent of my fear and what lay ahead for us. I smiled at her, wanting desperately to erase the expression of worry from her face.

"Bella, we'll be okay as long as we are together. Do I need to remind you how much stronger you are now than you were before? I'm not sure what Aro has in mind, but the fact that we've heard nothing from Alice is a good thing."

Bella relaxed in her seat a little and seemed satisfied with my answer. I also knew that she was shutting me out. She had practiced long and hard to be able to open her mind to me. She opened herself to me during our most private moments. I was always shocked by the propensity of her love for me. I still felt as if I didn't deserve it.

I quickly reminded Bella that perhaps it would be better off if we fed first before we arrived in Volterra. We made a quick detour into a more densely wooded area of country and proceeded to hunt. The need overrode some of the anxiety. I gave myself over to the feeling of being the hunter. To be the stalker, not the prey.

We continued on with our journey feeling somewhat fortified and stronger. We lightly passed the time recalling our time together in Venice. Nessie would be surprised by all the gifts we had purchased for her. Smiles and loving touches passed back and forth between us during the drive. We both knew that we were getting closer to Volterra. I could feel Bella beginning to tense up.

Our last time here could have ended in a massacre except for th fact that one incredibly brave human girl risked everything to save me. Intense feelings welled up inside me and I felt the immediate need to possess Bella overwhelm me. I wanted desperately to show her how much I needed her and loved her. I reached out for Bella's hand once again.

Abruptly, Bella took my hand and placed it between her thighs.

"Touch me Edward. I need to think of something else for a moment. Something good."

Slowly I traced lazy circles with my fingers starting from her knee and moving steadily higher along her thigh. I could feel her muscles begin to tighten underneath my fingers. I reached my goal and began to firmly stroke her through the denim of her jeans. She clenched her legs strongly around my hand and her hips began to undulate following the rhythym of my touch.