Don't Go
So, this is basically Rose and Dimitri from Vampire Academy after frostbite, but with the cabin already happened. Dimitri decides he wants to take Tasha's offer, and Rose will just have to convince him otherwise! It's my first fanfic, so please be nice, but review heaps! Please? Thanks, ILYA!
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Vampire Academy or it's characters, content, etc...
When I'd arrived at practise that morning, Dimitri had worn a worried, and pained, look on his face. This instantly freaked me out. Dimitri never let his guard down like this, always replacing his real emotions with that blank guardian mask he had. Concerned, I had walked fully into the gym until I stood in front of him.
"What's wrong?" I asked him, staring up into his face, searching for the answer there.
"We need to talk." His voice had held so many emotions: worry, concern, pain, sadness, and a new emotion I'd never seen him carry. Guilt.
He led me over to the bench against the far wall, sitting down and ordering me to do the same. I didn't, instead leaning against the wall. After a sigh, he stood back up and faced me.
And that was when the worst day of my life began.
He explained to me that he was taking up Tasha Ozera's offer. A while ago, Tasha had asked for Dimitri to be her guardian. But that wasn't all she asked him. Tasha offered Dimitri the chance for them to have a baby together.
I knew that Dimitri had always wanted a baby, but I always thought, stupidly, childishly, that he wouldn't take the offer because of our relationship. It was especially stupid because Dimitri and I's relationship had to be hidden because it wasn't even allowed. Not only were we both damphirs, and it was frowned upon for damphirs to have relationships with each other, but also because he was my mentor. My 24 year old mentor.
Really, it wasn't all that bad; the difference was only seven years. But Dimitri had said so himself: I was still technically a child at seventeen years of age. Had I been older, it might have been different. But I wasn't. It wasn't.
Also there among the list of reasons why we shouldn't be together was the fact that we were both supposed to be Lissa's guardians when I was older. If we got distracted, it could mean her life.
But even though I knew all of those reasons, I had still believed that he wouldn't take up Tasha's offer, that we would somehow find a way to be together. All because he had said he loved me as much as I loved him.
So here I was listening to him explain that he was going to take up her offer and leave me. Here I was feeling my heart breaking simultaneously.
I was sure the pain must have shown on my face. There was absolutely no way that a pain so strong could go unnoticed.
And it didn't.
"Please realise why I'm leaving. It's not because I don't love you, I do. With all of my heart and soul. I've loved you since the first moment I met you. So, please understand that I am by no means leaving because I don't love you," he said, staring me in the eyes intently.
"Then why?" I asked, my voice pained and cracking even on that simple question.
He looked at me, assessing my face, and compassion and guilt filled his face. "Because Tasha can give me a child," he answered gently, so quietly that I wouldn't have heard it if I hadn't been so close to him.
"And I can't," I choked out, the tears finally spilling over and pouring silently down my cheeks. It wasn't fair. All I wanted was to make Dimitri happy. And the realisation that I couldn't give him what he wanted most of all tortured me. The fact that not only that I couldn't make him happy, but that someone else could, filled me with a pain so bad that it took my breath away.
"Would you want a baby?" Dimitri asked, not nastily, but shocked and surprised by my reaction, curious.
I thought about that question. I'd never really thought about having a baby. I was still in school, for God's sake! Why should I have thought about it? But what about later, after school? Would I want a baby then? Honestly, I didn't know. I needed to think about it. So instead of saying that, I gave him an answer I was sure of.
"I would want-I would do- anything to make you happy." I looked into his eyes, showing him what I felt. Honesty. Love for him. Pain and Sadness that I couldn't give him what he wanted. Worry, worry of losing him. And underneath it all, I was begging. I was begging for him to stay with me, even though I couldn't give him what he wanted. I was being selfish. I was begging.
He looked at me, reading me easily. I saw the conflict on his face as he saw my pain, my plea. He was debating whether to stay with me or go and get his dream. He knew what I wanted, and I saw that a part of him wanted that too. Or maybe it was wishful thinking.
Finally, remorse all over his face, he clenched his jaw and shook his head once. My heart broke.
turned around and fled for the door before I could lose it in front of him. The tears were streaming down my face heavily now, running down my face silently.
Just as I reached the door, his voice made me freeze.
"I do love you Roza," he told me quietly.
Those words broke me. An awful choked sound came out of my throat, sounding mangled and filled with pain. I dashed out of the gym just as the sobs started to rip their way out my chest.
I ran and didn't stop until I was in the forest where no-one could hear my noisy sobs. I sunk down against a tree, my back sliding down it, as I felt all of the pain from my broken heart. I sat there, curled into a ball with my hands locked around my knees and sobs ripping their way out of my chest for only a minute, maybe two, before I felt strong hands under my knees and around my back. The lifted my up and sat me down on Dimitri's lap as he slid down the tree, back leaning against it and his legs out in front of him. He pulled me to his chest and I cried into it, sobbing my heart out. I knew I should pull away- he was the one who was causing me all this pain. Not that I blamed him, not at all- how could I blame him for getting what he wanted most of all? No, I didn't blame him, but all the same, being close to him now would only make it worse when he left. But I didn't really care. Deep down, I didn't want to waste any time I got with Dimitri. I would take whatever I got. That didn't mean I would be okay with it when he left- far from it- but I wouldn't separate myself from him unnecessarily.
I don't know how long we stayed there, just him holding me close and rubbing circles in my back while I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Eventually, though, it started to grow dark and my sobs started to fade.
Finally, I lifted my head from his chest.
A/N: Okay, how was it? Bad? Awful? Okay? Good? Please tell me! Oh, and tell me what you think should happen next, please! Thanks, ILYA!
