Disclaimer: They are not mine.

Right Here, Right Now

August HBX Challenge

Harm: Did anyone ever tell you that you
have great maternal instincts?
Mac: (ruefully) Not as often as I've been
told I have a great karate chop.

Psychic Warrior

Harm leant on the door jamb of AJ and Jimmy's bedroom door and watched as Mac tried to soothe Jimmy back to sleep after a bad dream. As she sang quietly to him, she wasn't aware Harm had joined them and was watching her every move.

An overnight babysitting gig for the four Roberts' children wasn't what he had planned for himself this weekend; his plans included some overdue maintenance on the Stearman and trying to convince Mac to take a flight with him. However, when it looked like the plans for Harriet and Bud's night away for Harriet's birthday would fall through due to their babysitter pulling out; Mac had offered to fill the void. While Harm hadn't been asked to help out, he had offered his services immediately when he figured he'd take a weekend with Mac anyway he could get it.

It was mid afternoon when Harm had arrived and Mac had already fed the tribe lunch and cleaned up before helping the boys build a big fort in the living room. With the twins having a nap, AJ and Jimmy were playing quietly in their new construction while Mac sat on the sofa drinking a well deserved coffee.

When the doorbell rang, AJ had charged to the door excited by the fact Uncle Harm was coming.

"Ssh," Mac had reminded him, pointing upstairs. "The twins are asleep."

"Sorry, Auntie Mac," AJ apologised as he reached the door. "Who is it?" he called, knowing he wasn't to open the door to strangers.

"Uncle Harm," came a very familiar voice and AJ flung the door open.

From the moment the boy had flung himself into Harm's arms until he had fallen asleep an hour ago, AJ had occupied most of his time, there were games and books and Nintendo and football and baseball and anything else AJ could think of. It wasn't a surprise at all that AJ had fallen asleep fast and earlier than usual.

Bringing himself back to the view in front of him, Harm smiled as Mac leant down to kiss Jimmy goodnight once more. As she headed back to the door, she raised her eyes and smiled to see Harm in the shadows.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have great maternal instincts?" Harm said quietly as she neared him.

"Not as often as I've been told I have a great karate chop," she said ruefully as she passed and Harm quickly reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Mac," he said, the sadness in her eyes unmistakeable. "You do have great martial arts skills but you also have great maternal..."

"Don't, Harm," she interrupted, pulling her hand back and walking out.

Harm followed her out and downstairs and eventually into the kitchen.

"Coffee?" she asked as she poured herself a cup.

"No thanks," he replied, grabbing a bottle of water.

"Fine," she replied, her voice clipped.

Waiting until Mac settled herself of one end of the sofa, Harm returned to the living room and sat at the other end. Trying to think of something to say which would be supportive and not cause more pain for her, Harm was drawing a blank.

"I'm okay," Mac finally offered after finding the silence too hard to deal with.

"I know," he affirmed, nodding.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she continued quietly. "I know you meant well."

"I did mean well," he confirmed, placing his water bottle on the floor next to him.

"It's just it's a touchy subject, you know?" she asked, tilting her head and looking at Harm for the first time in ten minutes.

"I know," he agreed. Deciding to be brave, Harm pressed on. "Mac, I would like to be able to talk to you about this," he said quite formally. "May I?"

Mac nodded slowly.

"For the record, our baby deal expired about four years ago," he started as his heart rate accelerated. "And it was eighteen months ago the doctor gave you a 4% chance of conceiving."

"Yeah," Mac said in a hushed breath, her eyes firmly fixed on the coffee mug in her hand.

"And after discussing that news briefly after the Admiral's Dining Out it hasn't been mentioned," he continued, trying to use his best court voice and not use any inflection which would make her feel he was blaming her.

"I know," she whispered.

"So, I guess what I really want to talk about, to know, is if, despite everything, you still want to try and have a baby..." he said and she nodded slightly... "With me?" There was no response to that and Harm didn't know what to make of it.

"Did you hear me?" he eventually asked, the silence getting too much.

Mac nodded and chanced a shy look at him before nodding once more.

"Okay," he said, picking up his bottle once more.

Long after a heavy silence settled over them, Mac stood up and returned her mug to the kitchen, taking the opportunity tidy up the last of the dinner things. When she returned, Harm had pillows and blanket set out on the sofa to make up his bed for the night. When he caught Mac watching him, he gave her half a smile.

"You take their bed," he said, nodding upstairs. "I'll take the sofa."

"It's a bit short for you, isn't it?" she asked, knowing he'd be in for an uncomfortable night's sleep.

"It's fine, Mac," he said, turning his back to her and sorting out his bedding.

"Good night, Harm," she said as she headed to the stairs and Harm could hear the sadness in her voice. Right now, though, he was feeling all kinds of sad himself. Never having given up on the idea of having a baby with Mac, he was feeling quite crushed that she had seemingly moved on.

"Night," he replied, without turning.

The mantle clock had chimed three when Harm awoke to the realisation he was being watched. Turning over in the confined space, he was surprised to find Mac sitting crossed legged in the nearby armchair, dressed in a tank top and pyjama bottoms.

"What's wrong?" he asked, when he saw the tear trails on her cheeks glisten in the ambient lighting.

She shook her head, knowing it was in no means a satisfactory response.

"Mac, what's wrong?" he repeated, sitting up and swinging his feet to the floor.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and swiped at her face.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked, fighting every instinct to cross the floor and hold her.

"Not answering you earlier," she said, glancing up at him. "Didn't quite know what to say."

"Do you know now?" he asked, gripping the blanket tighter.

"Not really," she confessed. "And I'm sorry for that too."

Suddenly shuddering in the cold night air, Mac wrapped her arms around her body to preserve heat.

"Mac, would you like to come over here?" Harm asked, lifting up the blanket.

Settled next to him on the sofa, with the soft blue blanket around her shoulders, Mac drew in a couple of deep breaths, each one filled her with more of his scent and she immediately wondered if sitting this close was a good idea.

Not wanting to open himself up to any more pain, but not wanting Mac to feel more pain than she had to, Harm wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leant them both back into the sofa. In a move which surprised him, Mac rested her head on his chest, while she ran an arm around his body and nestled in closer.

"Can you let me get all this out?" she asked, rolling her head back to look at him and see him nod.

"The easiest answer to your earlier questions is yes. Yes, I still want to have a baby and yes... I do want to have one with you. I've spent the last eighteen months trying to convince myself otherwise but I couldn't – I do want you to be the father of my baby," she confessed before taking some deep breaths.

Knowing she wasn't finished yet, Harm moved his hand so his fingers could rake through her hair and give Mac the comfort she needed to continue speaking the words which appeared to be paining her greatly.

"I guess the biggest thing is... in all this... that I'm just really scared," she all but whispered into the darkness of the room. "I know if we try and try and it never happens then I will be heartbroken ... but I can live with that ... or at least I think I can... But I don't know if I can live with what it would mean for you. You'd be an incredible dad, hell, you already are to Mattie, and you deserve to have your own mini-Harm running around. I don't want to be the one who takes that opportunity away from you... and I'm scared that if that's the way things go then I'll lose you completely because you'll hate me, much more than you probably do right now and that is something I know I can't live with."

"Can I speak now?" Harm asked gently, as he raised her face and she could see the tears in his eyes.

"Aha," she muttered, not being able to find her voice.

"You will never lose me, Sarah MacKenzie and I don't hate you – not now, not ever. I can never, will never hate you... do you understand me?" he questioned fiercely, his thumb and forefinger keeping her face in place until she muttered 'yes'.

"You should also know that I would rather be childless and have you in my arms forever, than have a child with anyone else," he confessed, his thumb swiping at her tears. "Being a parent with you is not as important to me as just being with you."

"What are you saying?" she said, struggling to find her voice in the swirling emotions which had engulfed her.

"I'm saying that I love you, Mac. I'm in love with you," he said, caressing her face. "I'm saying that I absolutely adore you ... I really do," he added as she dropped her head and broke eye contact. "I'm saying I want you... I need you...I am hopelessly and completely in love with you. And if you want to try and have a baby, I'm in it with you. And if you don't, that's fine too. And if we try and it doesn't work out then we'll get through that too."

"Are you really sure you want to take a chance on this? on me?" she asked tearfully; not quite believing after years of fumbled words and mixed messages when it came to the topic of them that Harm was being so explicit, so articulate.

"I am completely, totally, wholly, entirely positive," he replied adamantly, palming her cheek.

"In that case," she said, turning herself around so her chest was against his. "You should know that I love you so much, Harm," she whispered, before wrapping her arms around his neck and gently brushing her lips against his.

As the kiss developed a life of its own, Harm scooted around and lay on his back as Mac positioned himself on top of him, not letting his movement end the kiss a second before they had too. When finally they parted, she rested her head in the crook of his neck and took in some much needed oxygen. Feeling his fingers rake through her hair, Mac closed her eyes and allowed all her fears and doubts to ease away with each caress.

It took her a moment to realise Harm was talking to her.

"...been a problem to know how we were going to manage things, you know?" he continued. "But I've been thinking a lot lately about retiring and maybe this would be the perfect time."

"Retiring, really?" she said, struggling to look up at him.

"Yeah, I've had a few offers over recent months and it got me thinking and I knew when the right offer was made it would be the easiest decision ever, and I was right," he said, kissing her head.

"So what offer did you get?" she asked, wondering where he'd be headed.

"The offer of spending the rest of my life with you," he whispered as he lowered his face to kiss her lips.

"Oh!" she mouthed before his lips claimed hers.

"So," he continued when he'd pulled back marginally. "I think we make an appointment as soon as we can to see your OBGYN and see exactly what our options are and then see the General and make him aware of the situation and then make a plan of..."

Anything further he was going to say was lost in the amazing kiss Mac bestowed on him which caused Harm to forget his train of thought, his name and even the knowledge he had to inhale to breath.

The following morning, AJ was surprised to find his babysitters entwined on the sofa, half covered by the blue blanket.

"Why didn't you sleep in mom and dad's room?" he asked Harm as he struggled to open his eyes.

"Aunty Mac slept there," he replied, before realising she was currently causing the heavy weight he felt on his chest.

"But she's asleep there," he said, pointing to the sofa.

"Yeah, I know," he said, nodding. "She came down earlier and fell asleep."

"Why didn't you sleep with her in mom's bed?" he asked, propping himself on the coffee table.

"Well, because..." he started but then realised he had no real way of explaining the situation to the nine year old.

"Did you two have an argument?" he asked. "Because sometimes mom and dad argue and dad sleeps in there," AJ said, pointing to the den.

"Yeah, that's it," Harm agreed, just to end the conversation. "Now, what would you like for breakfast?"

"Aunty Mac said we could go to IHOP," he said excitedly. "Can we? Please?"

Checking the clock, Harm realised it was already eight and was surprised everyone bar himself and AJ were still asleep.

"Okay, you go have a shower and get dressed and then wake Jimmy, I'll wake Aunty Mac and get the twins ready," he said and AJ high-fived him.

"Mac," he said softly when AJ had disappeared. "Time to wake up." There was no answer. "Mac, breakfast time." While there was a muttering of sorts, he knew she wasn't fully awake. "Coffee...pancakes...bacon..." he continued.

"Mmmm, bacon," she moaned and Harm laughed, that was his marine.

Placing soft kisses across her face, Harm relished these few intimate moments with her and knew that from here on in, waking up with Mac was going to be the highlight of each and every day...going to bed with her would have certain amazing advantages too , he thought with a grin.

"Did you say something about bacon?" she repeated when she was more coherent.

"I did," he admitted. "AJ's awake, said you promised IHOP this morning."

"Yes, I did," she said. "And I'm starving."

"Now, why doesn't that surprise me?" he sassed as she sat up and stretched.

"It's in your best interest to feed me today, sailor," she said with a flirty smile.

"And why is that?" he replied, standing up and pulling her to him.

"Because I plan on spending a lot of energy tonight," she said, raising an eyebrow. "With you, if you're interested."

"Oh, I'm interested, very much so," he said quickly, pulling her closer still and kissing her thoroughly.

It was nearly another hour and a half before Harm, Mac and the four kids were sitting at a table in IHOP. Nicki was in a highchair next to Mac while Michael was in one at the other end next to Harm. All had their meals in front of them and while Nicki was actually eating, Michael was finding it better fun to play with his.

"You have a lovely family," said the waitress as she refilled the water glasses.

Mac was about to correct her before realising that she did have a family – she had Harm, she had two beautiful godsons, great friends and a sense of belonging she'd never had before. "Thank you," she said before reaching to take Harm's hand.

Whatever the future held, she had enough right here, right now.

Thanks for reading!