This is my first ever fanfic so here goes :s

Beca's POV

So...college isn't going well. It's just like high school. Except more lonely. Yeah, right now I'm sat in my room alone writing a frickin diary on a Friday night because well I haven't even made one friend that likes me enough to hang out with me. Not even from the Bellas. Ugh, I feel like such a whiner but well I know that I push people away on purpose but I'm eighteen now and I was kind of hoping things would've changed. Yannow? I was hoping I could maintain at least one friendship but I've already messed that up, Jesse has already given up on me. I'm such an awful person. Ugh.

So my whole life I've never really had any friends. Ever. I mean, yeah at high school I knew a few people that let me sit with them, but they didn't know me. No-one has ever known me. I used to just stay at home every day and mix tracks and fantasise about my future life in the music industry. But that hasn't happened. My life is a mess.

"Okay guys," Aubrey beckoned us over one evening when we were stood in the rehearsal room. She looked even more crazy than usual and I feared for my life as she had some kind of psychopathic vendetta against me. "We have a gig in two weeks."

There were a few gasps from Fat Amy and Stacie.

"And we are awful right now," Aubrey said, viciously swatting a strand of blonde hair from her eyes.

"Woah, woah, woah, woah!" Fat Amy protested.

"No, we are terrible," Aubrey reiterated. "Fat Amy you don't even know the steps, Stacie you can't go two seconds without fondling yourself and Beca? Don't even get me started on you frankly I don't know why you're here."

My heart jolted and I could feel my cheeks getting hot. I blinked away the stinging hot tears that formed. Aubrey was the worst. She made me feel like absolute garbage. I liked the Bella girls believe it or not. I liked Fat Amy and Lily and Cynthia-Rose and hell I even liked Chloe, even though she was totally intrusive and Aubrey's bitch. But Aubrey had to go and make me feel like an outsider in the one place I actually found enjoyment. Ugh.

"So," Aubrey continued, "We will have to practice even harder. Got it?"

There was a mumble of agreement from everyone, but I was too choked up to speak.

"Okay, Chloe you teach Beca and Amy and Stacie the dance moves while I go over with everyone else that isn't completely retarded the actual song. Got it?"

"Sure," Chloe agreed. "Come on guys."

I reluctantly followed her over to the other side of the room. I felt like crying and I definitely did not want to go through Aubrey's stupid dance moves.

"Okay you guys, so let's go from the beginning," Chloe said with her usual enthusiasm. "One, two, three, four!"

I didn't have to energy to dance. I tried but it wasn't happening. I never slept at night if I could help it, just in case I got flashbacks of my parents. So. I was tired permanently.

"Great Amy, Stacie!" Chloe praised, her crystal eyes shining.

"Yeah, I'm the best modern dancer in Tasmania," Fat Amy said coolly.

"Beca maybe we should go over it again?" Chloe asked kindly but I still sighed deeply.

"Fine."

"Okay."

Chloe stood closer to me and carefully went through each step but I was so upset I couldn't I just couldn't.

"Beca, d'you want to stop?" Chloe asked and her perfect face was full of concern.

"I can't do this, look I just, I'm just. I have to go."

I ran out of the room and the moment I got out the door I started to cry. Shit.