Disclaimer: I do not now, nor will I ever, own Dragonball Z. It belongs to Akira Toriyama.
Dear Chi-Chi,
I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how hard it was for me to choose to die. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted to stay alive so I could be with you and Gohan. I mean, who would ever choose to die when he has a family to be with? See, I know I'm not good with words so I don't always say it, but I really do love you, Chi.
Remember when I said I'd marry you? Okay, yeah, I thought a bride was a kind of food when I promised to marry you as a kid, but when I saw you at the World Martial Arts Tournament and I saw how upset you were that I forgot, I knew it was the right thing to do to marry you. Even if I didn't know what I was doing. Gosh, you confused me so bad. I didn't know what to think because you were really nice one minute and the next you were screaming at me so loud it made my ears hurt. And I didn't know why! You said we'd met, but you looked so different. You were taller, and prettier, and your hair was longer, and you were, well… you looked like a grown-up woman, not a kid like when I last saw you.
Anyway, I knew it was the right thing to marry you. I didn't know why, but I trusted what my heart was telling me because it never led me wrong before. I don't really know if I loved you then. Sure, you were really pretty and nice most of the time and I remember we were friends when we were younger… I guess I loved you in a way. Now I know I do, and I hate being away from you. It's really hard. I think about you a lot, and that's the reason I'm here.
I'd love to have Bulma and Master Roshi wish me back to life right now so I could see you, but I know I have to stay here and train with King Kai so I'll be ready for the saiyans. Keeping you and Gohan safe is more important than being on Earth, and I know I'll be back in a year. Dying wasn't fun, and it wasn't an easy choice to make. The only reason I let Piccolo kill me was because I knew I'd come back when someone wished for me to come back to life with the dragon balls. Course at the time I didn't think I'd be gone a whole year, but…
Well, I just wanted you to know that I didn't leave because I don't care about you. I do care a whole lot. Yeah, I know we don't always get along when it comes to things like whether Gohan should be trained in martial arts. I think he should but you want him to be a "scholar." Sounds boring to me, but I let you have your way. I always let you have your way. I don't really mind because I know you just want what's best for him. But do you always have to say things like how you want Gohan to have a good education unlike his father and that he shouldn't grow up to be a muscle-bound thug like his father? I don't want to complain, but that kind of hurts. I know I'm not perfect, but geez! I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you and I want to be with you, but I just can't be. I'm sorry I have to be gone for a year, but it's for the best.
I guess that's all for now. Baba's getting impatient and I don't think she likes helping me write, so goodbye for now and I'll see you in a year.
Love,
Goku
Mez finished reading the mushy letter with a disdainful snort before crumpling it up into a ball and tossing it over his shoulder into Bloody Pond. It wasn't often anything fell down from Snake Way, and the little slip of coffee-stained, blotched-up paper was rather entertaining for a minute. Apparently whoever was supposed to deliver the letter dropped it somewhere between Otherworld and the dimension of the living. Oh well, it was a bunch of nonsense anyway. Getting wished back to life, what a joke. 'Sorry, Chi-Chi,' he thought, 'You'll never know what this Goku fella thinks of you.'
…
Chi-Chi sneezed. She was finishing hanging the laundry to dry, a gentle autumn breeze tossing her loose strands of hair around her face. It had been only a week since she learned that in a single day she lost her family. Her son, only four years old, was kidnapped by the green monster Piccolo and no one knew where to find him. Her husband, meanwhile, was dead. Oh, she knew he was going to come back in a year when he was wished back with the dragon balls, but that didn't make his death much easier to swallow. Only a 24 year-old and already a widow. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. And she would be a widow for a whole year because Goku was busy training in Otherworld for more of those horrible saiyans. A whole year!
The young widow sighed shakily, trying to reign in the tears that threatened to fall as they welled up in her eyes. Yes, she was grieving. Her precious baby was somewhere in the world with a terrible person – training in martial arts, no less! He should be at home studying, safe from the evils of the world.
"I don't want him to grow up like his father," she mumbled sadly. "He's going to be a great scholar. We agreed on that. He needs a good education so he can be successful."
Oh, if only Goku were there! She would give him a piece of her mind, that's for sure. She felt betrayed when she learned from Krillin that he was dead, and he was going to stay dead for a whole lot longer than he needed to just so he could train! Honestly! All he ever wanted to do was train! So she knew entering their marriage that fighting was a pretty big part of his life. After all, they were officially engaged at the World Martial Arts Tournament. Wasn't that a red flag right there? Goku loved fighting. She only fought from necessity, to get what she wanted when there was no other way. And maybe it was bad luck for their marriage. Maybe their lives would be fraught with chaos and death and evil space aliens because they decided to start their marriage at the tournament, building the foundation of their relationship in fighting. It might have been better to have waited until they had a stronger relationship to get married.
Frowning, she realized how little she actually knew about her husband before they were married. It wasn't that she was having second thoughts about being married to an uneducated martial artist. Actually, without him she was made aware of just how much she loved him. It felt like her heart was ripped to shreds whenever she allowed herself to think on how he was dead. Dead. It seemed so final… even if he would come back, would he be the same man she knew before?
Her uncertainty quickly turned to anger. He'd better be the same man she married! She didn't care if he trained in Otherworld with some sort of god, he was still her husband and he'd better not forget it. And he'd better defeat those saiyans and get Gohan back so he could resume life as normal – studying. All she ever wanted was a nice, peaceful life with a big family. Now she had no family. Everything was all wrong, and it was all Goku's fault. If he hadn't died then Gohan never would have been taken away and Goku, obviously, wouldn't be dead! She wouldn't be a widow and she wouldn't be aging so fast! She was just sure she was going to have wrinkles and gray hair like an old woman by the time the year was over and she had her son and husband back home.
'Does he even think about me?' she wondered bitterly. 'I bet he's having a grand time in Otherworld. Nothing but training, that's as close to heaven as he could get! He probably doesn't think I mind him being gone for a year. Well, when he's revived I'm going to make sure he never does anything like this to me ever again, or he'll be sorry!'
She nodded to herself, her mind made up. Goku would never hear the end of it. He was going to be in the doghouse for a long time for this one. She never thought she would turn into a terrifying, ill-tempered, nagging wife, but given the circumstances she considered herself justified. After all, her loving husband abandoned her! And he wasn't in any hurry to come back. She was hurt, and that pain was going to be turned back around on her husband as soon as he was wished back to life.
