Wait For Me
Everything around me is silent; everything is dark for my eyes are closed tight. I sat in fetal position on my couch, head buried in-between the crook of my knees, arms wrapped around them. I didn't want to look up; I didn't want to see what was around me. My heart wouldn't take it anymore; the tears would fall once and wouldn't stop.
Why? I keep asking myself. It is the question I wish to know. Why did you have to leave me alone? My arms tighten around my legs as I clenched my teeth to keep the tears from falling. I cried far too much already, he wouldn't want me to anyway.
Ne Gil?
My head shot up, my eyes wide at hearing his voice. How… how? He-he shouldn't be here… he's dead.
You won't leave me… right?
It's his voice… but I can't see him. I can hear him, but… my eyes couldn't see him. I couldn't stop the tears any longer as they fell down my cheeks at hearing his voice.
I mean,
Please, no more. Please stop it! I beg you!
I wouldn't stand it if I lost you…
No. No, please stop this torment! Please!
Gil.
I stood up from the couch as my legs started to run as fast as they could on their own accord. I ran out of the house and past the people on the street, everything a blur as I passed. I wasn't sure where I was going, but with each step my heart sank and the tears became faster.
Gilbert!
I closed my eyes as I tried to block out his voice.
No more, please! I begged myself, but my mind had other ideas.
Please, I don't want to die Gil… Help me… I don't want to die…
Not this. No not this again! Anything, please! Anything but this!
I try to concentrate on clicking off my feet as they connected with the concrete below me. I didn't want to relive this moment out of all the others. This was the most painful. This moment was when I failed him. And the consequence was his life.
The tears fell from his green eyes as he stared at me, his hand gripping weakly on my shirt as he trembled. There was so much blood. So much blood and it was all his. My hands were soaked in it as I tried to stop the bleeding fruitlessly. I didn't want him to die; he just can't die on me yet.
"Gil…" he said weakly, his dry lips trembling in fear. "Please don't let me die Gil. I'm scared." My hands stop in their movements as I stared at him, tears of my own filling my eyes as I tried to push them away. I had to be strong for him.
"Don't worry Oz," I said as I forced a soft smile on my lips to try and reassure him. "I won't let you die." He smiled painfully back at me as I held his bloodied hand in mine. I tried to not look worried as I felt it start to grow cold.
"Gil…" he suddenly whispered, his smile turning into a frown as he tried to focus his green eyes on me. "Everything is cold… I can't even feel anymore Gil…" My eyes widened as I felt him squeeze my hand tighter. "Gil, I'm so scared… I'm dying and I know I am… I don't want to die… I want to be with you and Alice… and everyone… Gil… I don't want to die…" His eyes turned dull, my heart clenching at his words. "Gil… please stay with me… forever…" He smile was small and look like he was trying to keep it from falling.
"I promise Oz." I couldn't keep the tears out of my voice as they suddenly fell from my eyes. He was dying and I couldn't do a thing! Why can't I do anything for him? Why can't I keep his fears at bay? Why can't I keep the pain from coming? The blood from spilling? And the tears from falling? Why can't I keep that smile on his face? Why can't I keep the laughter from never stopping? Why can't I keep him from dying? Am I just this weak?
"Gil," His voice is just so weak, so far away. He's draining and I can do nothing but watch… Nothing but hold him close and make sure he wasn't alone. "When all of this is done… can we go to the market and… get Alice some meat? Then can we go to the lake… and swim? And can we go on an adventure? Help find Alice's memories? Can we?" Oz asked hopefully making my heart shattered in my chest as I just smiled and nodded at him.
"Yes Oz, I promise." I replied as I held him tighter.
"I'm…" He was now struggling just to speak. "I'm so glad I met you Gil… and Alice… and Sharon-chan… and even Break… I'm glad that I got to know you…" he breathed out, his hand becoming limp in mine. "Goodbye… Gilbert." He drew his last breath and released it, the life dying from his eyes as his head rolled back, his chest falling limp. I felt my whole world freeze as his last words were repeating themselves over and over in my head, slowly killing me from within my heart.
Goodbye… Gilbert.
He… he's dead… Oz… my master… my friend… my sun… my everything… he's dead. This can't be happening… He can't be! He was smiling and laughing just this morning! Alice was teasing him just earlier! He wore my hat! He ran! He spoke! He lived! He was alive! I saw him breath… smile… laugh… run… cry… be afraid… I saw him do all of those things. He just can't die! Why must he be so selfish? Why?
I hug his body close as my tears fell onto his deathly pale cheeks. His once joyful eyes stared lifelessly at the dull grey sky above us that began to shed its own tears.
Why Oz? Why did you just have to be so selfish? You were my best friend… you were my everything…
I found myself standing in front of the newly dug grave and my eyes staring at the cold headstone that stared back at me.
Oz Vessalius
Those were the only words carved onto the stone, nothing more, nothing less. Just those two simple words that meant the whole world to me. There was a fresh bouquet of flowers just before his grave, the only splash of color on the cold ground.
Goodbye… Gil.
Those painful words kept echoing in my head over and over again without mercy as I bent down and ran my fingers over the words.
Oz smiled up at me, giggling as he held tightly onto my hat.
"Give it back!" I cried as I tried to snatch it away from him. Oz skipped away, his laughter bubbling in the air merrily, holding on to the hat tighter.
"Nope!"
"Why?" I whispered to the grey slab. "Why did you leave me Oz? Why?" The wind blew past as I held the same hat Oz had once touched to my chest.
"Young master Oz!" I screamed as I ran through the forest, stumbling over my small feet. "You master Oz!" I shouted once more as I scanned the surrounding trees with my gold eyes. "This isn't funny!" I trembled slightly and jumped as I heard a twig snap behind me, taking cover behind the nearest tree.
"Gil! It's just me!" Oz laughed as he came into view. "Don't need to hide!" I felt tears run down my cheeks as I ran towards the young master.
"Young master!" I cried. "Please don't do that again! I thought someone took you!" I felt him run a hand through my hair comfortingly, chuckling a little in amusement.
"I'm right here Gil, I'm fine."
Standing up, I looked at the grave that held the thing that was what I held dearest to me before it was cruelly stolen from me. My master, my friend, and my brother.
"Wait for me Oz, I'll meet you again one day, I promise. Then can you laugh and smile once more." I turned to leave, putting my hat on my head once more. But before I left, I heard giggling from behind me and turned around to see Oz standing there with his hands behind his back and his eyes sparkling. "Oz…?"
"Promise?" he asked with an innocent tilt of his head. All I could do was nod in shock, no words coming from my now dry lips. "Then I'll wait till time itself has cracks and holes, until the sky crumbles and falls and darkness covers the earth. Until nothing else roams this land and the sun dwindles and dies, I'll wait for you… Gilbert." he whispered my name as the wind blew past and he disappeared with that smile he always wore.
After a few moments, I smiled at the spot he once stood.
"See you soon," I turned around and started to walk away with a faint smile on my lips.
"Oz…"
