Ok I wrote this last night, or should I say this morning… either way, it's a stupid little thing that doesn't really make much sense. Many of the jokes are about other films or tv shows a L&O actor has been in, so maybe that might help…

Also, this story is dedicated to a family member, and that person knows who they are… Other people who know me are just going to think this is strange and that my family is a bit cuckoo…

So, Merry Christmas to you all, please leave a review!


In New York city's war on crime, the worst criminal offenders are perused by the Major Case Squad, while the Special Victims Unit specialises in crimes which are considered especially "heinous". General homicides are handled by "two separate yet equally important groups" and of course, a trial by jury is the way to go when deciding if an offender is guilty... until NBC decides not enough people are watching.

These are their stories.

In New York City, crime takes a break for Christmas, and it is Christmas which is the topic of today's story, or "episode", if you like. The office Christmas party is filled with cheer, and plenty of Midori, as well as yummy champagne to keep our favourite detectives and prosecutors as drunk as possible.

Tracey Kibre escapes the party to answer her phone which is vibrating in her purse. Stupid vibrating alert. The caller is her ex-husband, who is a psychiatrist in Seattle, although he recently took a job interstate, yet ended up going somewhere completely different to chase some girl.

"Hello, I wanted to see how you were doing… I can hear lots of people in the background, am I interrupting something?"

Tracey laughs. "Nah, this party is boring as hell anyway."

Her ex then tells her of his misadventures in chasing the girl, and how he moved back to Seattle when he realised that all along he was meant to be with one of his coworkers who he'd always been close to.

Tracey sighs, her ex-husband seems to have everything sorted out, unlike her. Her new position in New York City's war on crime hasn't been as successful as she'd hoped…

Meanwhile, a young lawyer by the name of Serena sits in the corner, observing the scene. Frankly, she is very confused. Firstly, she shouldn't even be here, seeing as she was fired last year not because she is a lesbian. That in itself was confusing enough: if she was a lesbian, why had she spent her entire time at the DA's office standing awfully close to Jack McCoy?

Frowning, she looks over to where Jack is dancing with one of his exes…

"Abbie, what brings you back?" Jack asks her.

Abbie smiles, remembering all the good times before she had stupidly decided to leave her lovely job as a prosecutor.

"My dream job at the fertility clinic wasn't so great…"

All of a sudden, the lights dim and the curtain opens and everybody stares and the doors open to reveal…

Claire Kincaid and Alex Cabot!

-insert cheering here-

Jack lets go of Abbie's hand, sending her twirling into the Christmas tree. However, don't worry about her because she was actually here on a secret CIA mission with her new lover by the name of Cody…

"Claire, I thought you were dead!"

"Yeah, after the whole death penalty thing, I decided to fake my death and get a job cutting up dead people."

Everybody else at the party listens in with great interest…

Meanwhile, Olivia Benson stares at Alex. "Alex? I thought you were put into witness protection again!"

Alex tilts her head to the side and smirks. "I know, but who else is going to get you out of trouble?"

Um… ok.

Elliot Stabler looks on in disgust. "Liv, you mean to tell me that after I broke up with my wife for you, you are leaving me for Alex? I mean, she left our war on crime leaving us with Casey!"

Casey looks up from her third slice of Christmas pudding. "Hey, who said my name?"

Alex frowns. Out of all the people that could have had her job, it went to this strange person?

"Casey, I am so better at being an SVU prosecutor than you!" She screams, karate kicking Casey out of her chair into the Christmas tree.

Go girl!

However, Alex Cabot is not the only Alex at the party, and we must never forget the other Alex at this Christmas party, which of course would be Alex Eames…

Alex looks around, searching for a chair to stand on so she can see what's going on. She's quite tired of walking into people that can't see her because she is vertically challenged. Standing on a chair, she spots her partner, Detective Bobby Goren. Aw, how cute…

Bobby looks at the crowd, everyone seems to be dancing or standing on chairs, except for one young woman standing not too far away from him. As the mysterious woman turns around, Bobby is surprised that she isn't dancing with someone, as she is definitely one of the better looking people at this party.

"Have I seen you before?" Bobby asks, smiling.

"No, I just moved here from Australia. My name's Vicki…"


Ok it probably made no sense even to the people who are supposed to get it, but oh who cares?

Hated it? Loved it? Let me know and review!

Merry Christmas, everybody! xxxxx