The first time he saw him, Giotto was four, and had not liked his little brother one bit.
He was a red, screaming, wrinkly, disgusting thing covered in his mother blood, that's what Tsunayoshi had looked like to him.
How could such a horrible thing come out from her belly?!
He had turned around to look at her, ready to see the same disgusted face he was showing, yet, the queen, was looking at that wrinkly ball of meat like he was the most beautiful thing on the planet.
He had been so shocked by that sight that he asked her without any tact why she was so happy that such a ugly looking thing had been born from her, receiving immediately a slap and a harsh reprimand from his father for asking such a question.
Looking at it now, from the height of his 20 years, that had been definitely a stupid and tactless question and to this day, he was still ashamed he had spoke it out loud.
The only good memory of that day was Elena's face at hearing him asking such a rude question. Her eyes had bugged out so much that for a moment he had thought they would pop out from their sockets. That was the only time he had saw his sister give a very unlady-like response to happenings around her.
Elena aside, a simple slap and a couple of harsh words from the king however, had not been enough to change his mind about his brother.
He hated him. And the fact that his mother was actually looking at him with love, made hating him even more easy.
Why was she looking at him like that? he was her son, she should love him and Elena only; that ugly little thing did not deserve the love of someone as beautiful as the queen.
The following days and years were just a blur of messy happenings, half-forgotten memories of a childhood that left the moment Queen Nana died of hilliness and King Iemitsu decided he was old enough to occasionally guide the guards around the town to contain criminality.
Searching through those scattered memories, he did remember that he had been quite mean to his brother in the early stages of his life, but then things had started changing, he steadily grew older, wiser, and by his fourteenth year of life, he and Tsunayoshi were already in good terms.
Sometimes, He wished things could just go back to the way they were before, when they were children, when his mind still didn't associate the world 'beautiful' with Tsunayoshi, and he was just his silly, wimpy little brother, not someone he lusted over.
With a groan, Giotto took another shot of wine and gulped it down in one go.
Yes, he was in love with his little brother. He lusted over him. He wanted his body, his mind, his undivided attention, his soul, everything he could get.
He wanted Tsunayoshi in every possible way one can have a person.
But he could not have him. Because he was his brother, and while siblings (even of the same sex) getting together wasn't unheard of in their world. (there were plenty of incestuous marriages out there, especially in noble families that wanted to keep their blood 'pure') he was terrorized that Tsunayoshi would be disgusted by him and leave his side forever; maybe going off to marry some pretty noble girl and have kids with her, trying to forget he ever had a brother.
One that loved him way too much and too obsessively for it to be the 'pure love' of the romantic bed-time stories Nana always told when it was Elena's turn to choose what story to hear before sleeping.
While Tsunayoshi was definitely his light, his love for him was far from bright.
It was a pitch black twisted thing that tugged every cord of his being, a bittersweet constant that was driving him to insanity as the years passed and he kept on making it darker with his own fear and self-loathe.
G said it was exactly because of that that loving Tsunayoshi hurt so much. Because he didn't accept and followed his own feelings, they turned into the dark obsession that choked him every time he simply thought of his brother not loving him.
It was only at night, in his dreams, or alone daytime daydreaming that he could find some peace. Fantasies in which a Tsunayoshi that reciprocated him, gave himself willingly to him, giving that smile he loved so much as a lowered down to kiss those sinful lips.
The 'Tsunayoshi matter' was also the only thing Daemon and Alaude had found some kind of mutual agreement on. They were both of the idea that he should just: 'fuck him and be done with it' to quote them.
The only thing they did not agree on was the way he should go at it.
Daemon had suggested he drugged him and have his way with him, which was basically raping and Giotto had not fallen so low quite yet and he would rather off himself before he could.
That suggestion had earned him ear-perching insults from G, a disapproving frown from Asari , wide, scandalized eyes from Lampo, a prayer to the Gods for his soul to be forgiven from Knuckle, and his head nearly being bitten off by Alaude, whom just told him to quit being a cowardly wimp, use his herbivorous brains for once, and seduce the boy until he let him have his way (which translated was basically: 'turn him on enough to make him want to be fucked, even by his own brother').
He couldn't quite look at Daemon the same way ever again after that day and would have probably pushed for his marriage to Elena to be forbidden to happen had he not see the blushy puddle of goo Daemon turned into every time he was with his sister.
But back to Tsunayoshi... he wasn't quite sure when he started falling for his brother, he just knew it was sometime shortly after Reborn was assigned as his brother tutor (he had feared for his life back then).
Tsunayoshi was fourteen and Giotto seventeen, a hormonal youngster with a brother that was slowly but surely starting to develop in the good-looking young man he had now become.
The change in his character had also done nothing good to dampen his developing crush on him. If anything, it cemented it in love.
All the things that made Tsunayoshi who he was, simply started to come out as Reborn gradually and painfully brought them out of the layers of insecurities they were hidden under.
That kind of sarcastic sense of humor which he rarely saw form his brother became a daily thing, same could be said about the guts and positive attitude. The only thing Reborn had not needed to pull out was the good heart, that had always been there.
After Reborn, he had discovered his brother was quite the tease too.
They had developed... habits during the years, he and his brother... things that crushed and tranquillized him at the same time. Not that Tsunayoshi knew.
They were small things yet nearly a necessity for Giotto to survive.
Tsunayoshi once, years back, had proclaimed he wanted to sleep with him (cue close heart-attack for him) in his room, because Reborn sleeping with his eyes open creeped him out (it had creeped him a big time too) and so they started sleeping together every other day, with Giotto slowly diminishing the amount of days until it was left at one; because he wasn't that masochistic to keep sleeping everyday with what he wanted but couldn't touch. Yet, he kept one night, because he just could not rid himself of that one painfully sweet night in which he could bask in his brother presence for eight hours or more.
To this day they were still sleeping together one night every week.
And the sleeping wasn't the only thing going on between them.
There were also smaller things, like Tsunayoshi randomly hugging him every time he saw him alone, or how he always guided Giotto's head to rest on his chest whenever he saw he was sad ... and then there was his favorite, the one he starved for the most and coincidentally got to experience most frequently too.
Their greetings.
At some point they had taken to greet each other by pecking their lips, instead of limiting themselves to good days and hellos. And he loved it, despite how fast the contact of lips against lips was, and the bitter feeling of wanting more that was left in his heart, he adored those few seconds that made breathing easier.
Ironically enough, all those things that made him feel better were initiated by that which was at the center of the problem.
Tsunayoshi .
They were all Tsunayoshi initiatives.
'And Doesn't that tell you something?' had asked him Alaude once, giving him a look that clearly said: you are an idiot.
' Yes, that my brother likes to tease me'
The only answer Alaude had graced him with had been a pair of furrowed eyebrows and a 'tch' sound before stalking off, probably to beat up and then arrest someone.
Because what Alaude suggested was that Tsunayoshi did it on purpose, because he know Giotto loved him and was trying to make him understand he reciprocated with those little actions, but never saying it outright.
Which could simply not be possible.
With a silent sigh, Giotto turned to look outside the window for a moment, it was already past midnight.
As his fingers let go of the empty glass, his gaze shifted back almost on instinct to the figure laying on his bed under the thick covers.
His eyes traveled up until they met a fluffy mess of brown hair before settling on the angelic face they always found their way back to.
Almost automatically, he stood up and scooted back inside the covers, holding Tsunayoshi close. He didn't know if Alaude was right and he was just being blind, but of one thing he was sure: he could not stand it if his brother were to forsake him and leave his sight forever.
He'd go mad. He just knew it.
/*/
Giotto room, 06:00 am
It was better than caressing silk, decided Giotto as his right hand roamed along the hot body under him, down the toned chest, then abdomen, until it reached the thigh, where he gave a soft squeeze.
In response, the body shifted slightly under his, while one of its owner's hands tightened on his golden locks and the other trailed lazily, seductively, along his bare back.
A blissful moan left Giotto's lips at that and he moved his mouth away from the collarbone of his beloved to capture said person mouth in a needy kiss.
Oh, yes .
He nearly choked on air when he felt that person hand grab his hardened member, teasing it.
Yes.
He wanted this, he needed this!
He grunted when they're position was reversed but he couldn't really bring himself to be annoyed by the sudden change of authority.
Not when he felt that mouth leave his own only to slip down along his body, lips barely brushing his skin, always descending further downwards, down, down , down.
His breath stopped when he saw a tongue slip out those full lips as they reached his manhood, licking it in a purposefully sluggish, maddening, manner that was driving him mental.
"Tsunayoshi..."
Then, as that mouth opened to embrace him, his vision started getting blurry, the scenery slowly disappearing into that whiteness he had come to hate.
He was waking up.
/*/
Giotto room, 6:00 am
Tsuna watched his brother squirm beside him, eyebrows lightly furrowed but not in a displeased expression.
He wondered what he was dreaming about.
"I sure hope it's me..." muttered the young man gently tucking the blond bangs of his sleeping brother behind his left ear.
His fingers automatically trailed along the side of said older man face, tracing his features softly so he would not wake.
His brother was so beautiful... yet so thick.
More than once he had thought of putting an end to this dance of theirs by just grabbing him and kissing him mindlessly.
Yet he never did.
It was somewhat cruel of him, but while his brother thick-headedness sometimes just frustrated him endlessly, he also sort of enjoyed that longing, desiring gaze he always looked at him with.
While most failed to notice, to him those concealed feelings were as clear as daylight; he always managed to find them in his brother eyes no matter what... sadness, bitterness, affection, lust, desire to possess... love...
they did things to him.
That gaze twisted his gut just right, never failing to make pleasant shivers of anticipation run along his spine.
Would it be gone once his brother took him?
He hated seeing him suffer, unsure of which steps to take... and he knew he could sweep away all of his pain with just a couple of words, yet a little voice in the back of his head always stopped him before he could.
Because he didn't want that look to leave.
And his brother... he wanted his brother to be the first one to take action.
The darkest part of him enjoyed toying around with Giotto; it wanted to push him around, tug him left and right to see just how far he could go before the blond man snapped and jumped him, consequences be damned.
Some part of his mind was even eagerly waiting for that day to come.
People always commented about what a nice guy he was, but sometimes he felt really dirty. Almost wicked.
At least when his adored brother was involved.
Maybe Enma was right, he had passed way too much time around Reborn.
A soft moan from Giotto distracted him from his thoughts. He leaned forward a bit as he saw his brother lips move, trying to articulate words in a low voice.
"Tsunayoshi..."
He stilled as he heard his name fall from Giotto lips, pronounced with an horny, almost petulant tone.
after a couple of seconds of staring his mouth twisted in a soft, smug smirk.
His brother was having a dream about him, probably a dirty one too considering with what kind of tone he had uttered his name.
Oh Giotto...
"Hurry up..." he murmured as his brother began to stir.
When they're eyes locked he smiled sweetly at him, faking not seeing the slightly worried, pink tinted face of his favorite blond as he leaned down to peck his lips.
He never forgot to give him their routine kiss of greeting even once.
"Good Morning Giotto"
I can't wait.
.
.
.
.
.
Notes:
aaaand here we are...
This as been sitting in my pc for a while ... I have no idea if to leave this as a oneshot or continue. You'd like to see a contination? it would probably be written as a series of oneshots if I do continue...
Well, let me know *3*
I hope you liked it, good night/day to you 3
