First story, so please be nice. Also, please no flames! Review if you liked it and I'll make more!
Uh, Fan Mail?
At Titans Tower, Beast Boy was currently bringing in the mail.
"Bills, junk mail, ooh! Coupon for tofu!" He exclaimed, pocketing it. He then glanced over the pile again.
"And fan mail." He finished. He picked up the mail and brought it in.
"Hey guys, I have fan mail!" He said.
However, no one was paying attention to him. Raven was busy reading a book, Cyborg was trying to beat the current high score on a video game, and Starfire was cooking another Tameranean dish. Much to Beast Boy's amusement, it seemed as if Robin had gotten stuck taste testing it. The Boy Wonder finally seemed to notice Beast Boy standing there and quickly got up.
"Hey Beast Boy. Whatcha' got there?" Robin asked.
Beast Boy inwardly laughed at Robin's obvious nervousness about tasting Starfire's food.
"Fan mail! Look, there's some for all of us." He said, passing them out. Starfire looked intrigued.
"Oh, friend Beast Boy! What is this 'mail of the fans'?" She asked, putting down her spoon. Beast Boy pretended not to hear as he passed out the rest of the mail. Cyborg looked at his mail and grinned.
"I got two fan letters! Ha! Beat that!" He said, grinning smugly. His happiness was short lived, however, as all the other Titans held up at least three letters.
"Aw, seriously?" Cyborg asked crossly, glaring at his letters. He saw that Robin had three, both Raven and Starfire had four, and even Beast Boy had three. Beast Boy, however, wanted to get to opening the letters.
"Can we open the letters now? On the count of three, one, two, three." He said. Everyone looked at each other and shrugged before opening their letters. Beast Boy opened his first and silently read,
Dear BB,
You love Rae. Period. That's it dude.
Sincerely,
Mr. Grobyc
Beast Boy's ears turned red as he quickly set down that letter. Meanwhile, Robin wasn't doing so well with his letter either.
Dear Robin,
Hello Robin, it's me. Slade. I've been thinking about destroying the city with my special poison gas bomb. It will destroy everyone in the city by intoxicating them. Unless, of course you and your friends meet me at the warehouse at the end of 35th Avenue.
Be there, you know I won't hesitate to destroy the city. Goodbye, and good luck Robin.
Signed,
I totally fooled ya,
Kid Flash.
When Robin got to the end, he was seething. Did Kid Flash just prank him? He glared at the letter and glanced at the others. He sat up and said,
"One of your letters is probably a prank. Everyone please discard the one which matches this handwriting."
They passed the letter around and everyone tossed a letter. To their relief, only Robin had opened a prank letter. Cyborg pouted as he realized he now had only one letter. To everyone's surprise, Beast Boy was strangely quiet. He wasn't bragging about how he had gotten more than Cyborg, or even griping about how Robin had more letters than him. Some looked his way with mild concern in their eyes, but they stopped when Raven spoke.
"Can we please just get this over with?" She asked in an annoyed tone. They quickly went back to reading their letters, though Starfire was confused about hers.
Dear Starfire,
So, you're dating my old boyfriend, huh? Well, he needs someone. Though, I would appreciate it if he wrote home sometimes. Br- Batman misses him a lot…
Anyway, congratulations on getting a boyfriend! Even if he isn't always a great one.
Love,
Batgirl.
Starfire gave her letter another confused glance. Who was this Batgirl? And why did she call Robin boyfriend? She looked at the Boy Wonder, who seemed to be quite focused on a letter. She instead turned to Raven, who was sitting beside her.
"Friend Raven! Please let me understand the meaning of this letter!" She said.
Raven looked up from her own letters and took Starfire's, reading it carefully. Once she finished she turned to face Star.
"She said she's glad you and Robin are together." Raven said plainly. Starfire looks confused for an moment before nodding happily. Raven rolls her eyes and goes back to reading her own letter.
Dear Raven,
I'm a wise old man. Yep, and, I think you should ask Beast Boy to go out with you! Like, right now! 'Cuz, he's awesome! And really handsome, and stuff. So, go tell him how you feel Rae. I meant Raven.
Love,
Yob Tseab
Raven frowned and read the letter again. The handwriting looked familiar, and so did the way the letter was written. Something about it… Suddenly, her eyes widen and she glances over at Beast Boy, who is currently reading a letter. She frowns again and shakes her head dismissively.
Meanwhile, Cyborg has been working on his only letter.
Dear Cyborg,
We regret to inform you that Mr. Meat's Meaty Meat Place, has gone out of business. Because you were such a loyal customer we are inviting you to the funeral at 8:00 p.m. Friday night. Please wear a tie if possible. We shall all mourn the passing of a great restaurant.
Sincerely,
Mr. Meat.
Cyborg starts bawling. And I mean loudly. Everyone stares at him except Beast Boy, who is snickering. They all keep staring at him until Robin snatches the paper out of Cyborg's hands and reads it. He tries desperately to keep a straight face, but sadly fails. He folds over in laughter as he tries to catch his breath.
"Cy, it's just a *gasp* prank by *gasp* Beast Boy!" He says in between laughs. Cyborg suddenly stops crying and walks over to Beast Boy. He looms over him darkly. Beast Boy suddenly stops laughing and seems to shrink.
"This," Cyborg begins slowly, "Is what you think of as a joke?" He demands, grabbing the green shape-shifter before he can get away.
"Ach!" Beast Boy squeaks, turning into a mouse and running away quickly. He then changes into a lion for defense as the rest of the team tackle Cyborg, trying to protect Beast Boy.
" Friend Cyborg, you must not destroy Beast Boy! He merely meant it as, how you say, the 'around the joking'?" Starfire said, grabbing onto Cyborg's arm. Everyone, including Cyborg, stop what they're doing to give her a strange look.
"Star, I think you mean joking around." Robin whispered in her ear. Starfire blushed and scratched her head.
"Oh yes, that is what I meant." She said, slightly embarrassed. Cyborg however saw his chance and broke free, lunging at Beast Boy. Raven saw him though and caught him in a black field.
"Why don't we just finish reading our letters?" Robin said, trying to calm him down. Cyborg sighed and relented. Raven let him go to which Cyborg just gave Beast Boy a look before sitting down. Robin shakes his head before opening another letter.
Dear Robin,
So, how've you been doing? I mean, since you kinda left and… Anyway, I heard you and your team have been getting quite a lot of attention. I wish you would've called me to help with some of those dangerous cases, though.
Well, Alfred misses you. So does Batgirl and Commissioner Gordon. I, do too. Um, I'll see you at Thanksgiving, I guess.
Batman.
Robin sighed as he put down the letter. Bruce was nice, but he just didn't get that he needed to be his own person. Bruce seemed to really miss him though. Maybe he should visit…? Robin shook his head. He was too busy with his own team. Besides, he didn't need Bruce to look after him any more. Though he wouldn't admit it, in a way, he felt like he still wanted to be Robin, Batman's sidekick, not Robin, leader of the Teen Titans.
Raven had moved onto another letter, trying to ignore the previous one.
Dear Raven,
Quit joking around. You love Beast Boy. Don't worry about Terra. She left. Just tell him how you feel!
Seriously, have you ever smacked anyone else? Think about it. Anyway, don't worry about Robin. He won't oppose the idea.
From,
D.G.
Somewhere in the distance, a light bulb exploded. Everyone looked up, except Starfire, she was reading her last letter.
Dear Starfire,
Um, you're dating Robin. My son. So, just know that I am Batman and if you hurt my son I will personally hunt you down. You may have superpowers but I have so much power that with a flick of my wrist I can have a whole legion of superheroes breathing down your neck. Oh, and welcome to the family.
Batman.
P.S. Don't show this to Robin.
Starfire gulped. She quickly set the letter down and looked around. She looked over to Robin, who was absorbed in his final letter.
Dear Robin,
I am writing to warn you that Master Batman just sent a very threatening letter to your girlfriend, Starfire. I tried to convince him not to send it, but you know how stubborn he can be.
Anyway, do not get angry or take it to heart. Master Batman is only protective and misses you. This I am sure of.
Sincerely,
Alfred.
Robin took a deep breath. All the sympathetic feelings for his old mentor had vanished. Batman had just threatened his girlfriend. Oh, two could play at this game. He quietly snuck out of the room. He went into his room and started composing a letter.
In the main room, unbeknownst to Robin, World War 3 had started.
"Beast Boy, you. Are. Going. To. Die." Raven said, jumping him. He dodged and Raven accidentally tackled Cyborg. Cybrog yelped and tossed Raven off in surprise. She caught herself but not before landing next to Starfire. Starfire helped her up and glared at the boys.
"What did you do to make Friend Raven angry?" She asked, looking at them carefully. Cyborg put an innocent expression on his face.
"What? I didn't do anything. I think ya got the wrong robot." He said, twiddling his thumbs. Raven narrowed her eyes and flew over, shoving some letters in his face.
"Really? Because this looks like 'Cyborg' spelled backwards." She said in a cold voice. Cyborg gulped nervously. Beast Boy saw this as a chance to escape the inevitable battle. He quietly slipped out and ran to his room. Once he was there he panted and took out his last letter.
Dear Beast Boy,
I am like, your biggest fan! Like OMG I saw you in the mall the other day and I said to Caitlyn ,
"Like, there's Beast Boy!" And then she was like,
"OMG that is Beast Boy!" And so like, just wanted to say you I think you're super cute.
Love,
Your 1# fan
Beast Boy cautiously put the letter down. Sure, fans were great, but, this girl sounded a little, obsessed. He shrugged it off and walked back into the main room.
Robin had also returned to the main room, and currently was trying to calm Raven down, who was strangling Cyborg at the moment.
"Raven, let him go!" Robin shouted, yanking her leg. Starfire helped by grabbing her other leg. After a significant amount of pulling, Raven finally released him. She fell on the couch, panting. She looked up and glared at Beast Boy, who had just entered the room.
"I know you wrote this." She said, looking at him with a death glare. She grabbed him and threw him on the couch. She then walked away to her room before anyone could stop her. Everyone stared at each other, at loss of what to say. Finally everyone just shook their heads.
"We're never reading fan mail again." They all said in unision, save Raven, who was in her room.
Well, that's it! I hope I didn't completely bomb it! Anyway, please review! The button is right there!
