Disclaimer: I don't own 90210.
Summary: Ethan is the one to find Silver at the train station. Ethan is the one that brings her to the hospital. Ethan is the one that cares for her. But Dixon is the one she loves.
Author's Note: So, as I'm on my Ethan/Silver high, here's another story for them. This takes place in 'Off The Rails', but I've made it Ethan/Silver as Ethan is the first one to find Silver at the train station.
Crossing Paths
by: The Vicious Circle
Ethan arrived at Union Station, having no idea what he was doing there. It had been a long night, and he just needed some space and time to think. If he wasn't out for a long drive or at the beach in the water, he always came to the train station. It was the only real place nobody would ever find him. He never boarded a train though. He just sat outside on the bench, watching as different trains would pass by. In a way, it was soothing and calming for him. At least nobody would be bothering him.
His cell phone suddenly rang and he picked it up. It was Annie, and she seemed troubled by something, talking fast and jumbling her words. When he finally got her to speak more clearly, she revealed that Silver had gone missing and everyone was out looking for her. Ethan agreed to help look for Silver as he hung up. He snapped his phone shut and sighed as he stood still for a moment. Ethan honestly didn't know Silver that well. Even if they had known each other since the third grade, they never seemed to mingle together. They were on different paths in their lives, and those paths just didn't seem to ever cross.
But it didn't necessarily mean that he didn't want to get to know her. She was definitely a unique person. She acted a little crazy and over the top sometimes, but that made her different and special from the other generic girls at school. She had a boyfriend though. She was with Dixon, and that basically meant that even thinking about Silver as more than just a friend would be wrong of him.
"Silver?" Ethan said alarmed as he suddenly saw a figure standing on the train tracks desperately trying to stop a train from leaving. What were the odds that she would be here? Why was she here anyways? "What are you doing? Get off the tracks," he immediately commanded as he realized her current state.
"I missed my train!" she cried out hysterically. She was crying and she looked like a mess with her makeup smeared. "I'm never gonna make it to Kansas," she commented with tears streaming down her face.
"Okay, Silver. Calm down. It doesn't matter if you missed your train," Ethan said quietly trying to keep things cool before she did anything erratic.
"No!" she cried. "I had it all figured out! I was going to go to Kansas, because Kansas equals Dixon, and Dixon equals baking soda. It doesn't make sense… But it did! It did make sense! And now it doesn't," she exclaimed. Ethan knew she had lost it. She didn't even know what she was talking about anymore. He had to get her out of here. He had to help her.
It was tearing him up inside to see her like this.
"I know. I know," Ethan said calmly as he took a step forward to try and reach out to her.
"No!" she shrieked through her tears. "Don't come near me!"
"Okay," Ethan said in his quiet voice again, holding his hands up a little and stopping where he was. She was absolutely frantic right now, and if he didn't act fast, he just knew something was going to go wrong. Only he could save her now. He could risk calling someone right now because she could go off again and he would lose his chance. Only he could fix this.
"Everything was making sense, and now it doesn't," she cried again. "Everything was so great, but now, it's so dark. It is so dark here. It is always, always dark," she said as she started to break down again. And she stood there on the train tracks, crying.
"Silver, please," Ethan said as he started to plead. "Please, get off the tracks," he said to her. He heard a train coming closer and started to get really nervous. "Come on, Silver. Please," he repeated with his voice getting firmer as his apprehension grew bigger.
"I don't know what's going on anymore," she confessed shaking her head.
"Silver, get off the tracks!" Ethan said louder. The sound of the train got louder and louder. She turned around to look at the train coming. "Silver!" he cried out trying to get her to safety.
"You don't understand!" she screamed as she started running towards the train's path.
"No!" he shouted. But her figure disappeared, and the train ran by.
He swallowed dryly as the train had passed. There was no physical sign of her, but he knew that she wasn't hurt by the train. She just had to be. She was stronger than that. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her while he was with her now. Everything would be blamed on him if he didn't take care of her now.
"Silver," he said quietly but loud enough for her to hear as he crossed the train tracks slowly to the other side where she was presumably standing. "You're right. I don't understand," he admitted. He had to get as close as possible to her, and then finally get her to let him in. "I don't. I don't understand why Kansas, and, and baking soda are so important. I don't understand why you have been running away instead of talking to people about these problems. I don't get why things don't make sense for you anymore," he said. "But I do know one thing. I do know how it feels, to be in the dark," he confessed. It wasn't a complete lie, but it definitely couldn't compare to Silver's dilemma.
"I know what it feels like to be left out in the cold, when you feel alone and empty. You're just stuck in this place, and nobody is reaching out to you to help you and it feels like nobody cares. I know how that feels. When nobody understands, you just feel so down, so confused," he said describing the emotions he had once felt when his parents got divorced. Any child at the age of eight would feel lost and confused when their parents got divorced. And for a long period, Ethan just didn't get what was going on. For a long time, he always seemed unhappy. It wasn't exactly what Silver was going through, but it was the closest he could get.
"It's okay, Silver. It's okay. Because that darkness, it's not your fault. It's no one's fault. And when you get some help, when you talk to some friends and family, everything will be fine. Things will get sorted out and everything will be okay. Things will be okay, Silver. I know they will," he said. He had blamed his parents for so long, but that didn't make him any happier. Blaming people did not resolve things. He couldn't blame his parents for getting a divorce and making him feel that way for a while. He couldn't blame Dixon for his reaction and Silver's actions. No one was to be blamed. Accusing people would just make things worse, and that's not what Silver needed. She just needed to get help.
And he knew he had won her over when she came out of hiding.
He stepped onto the platform where she was. "I'm not going to hurt you, Silver," he reassured, slowly stepped closer. "I just wanna help, okay?" She nodded and slowly fell into his arms. He embraced her firmly, rocking back and forth a little to sooth her.
"Nobody cares. Nobody cares about me," Silver whispered as she clung onto him now.
"That's not true," he said. "A lot of people care about you. You know that," he reassured her. "Everyone is worried about you and looking for you. They all care," he said.
"Dixon, Dixon hates me" she said as she buried her head into him. "Nobody cares," she repeated over and over quietly.
"I care," Ethan said firmly, holding her close to him. He swallowed. He was crossing the line, but it didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered to him anymore except for her. He was the one that was fixing things. He was the one here. "I don't care what everyone else thinks. I care. I care about you, Silver," he told her. And although she and probably everyone else would not take that for its real meaning, it was the truth. He cared about her a lot. It just never showed.
She pulled out of the hug, but continued to cling onto his arm. And at that moment, Ethan believed it was all real. He believed that he truly won her over and that she did understand what he meant with his words.
"What am I supposed to do?" she asked looking at him for support.
"I want to help," he said first to reassure her. "I'm gonna call the Wilsons and-" he started.
"No!" she softly cried. "Don't call Dixon. Dixon hates me," she said repeating herself. She seemed desperate as she gripped onto his arm tightly. She looked at him, and her eyes pleaded with him.
"Okay, okay," he said to assure her. "I won't. How about your sister? I'll call her, just her. Is that okay?" he said. She slowly nodded. "Okay. Let's go back inside. And I'll call her," he told Silver. And with her attached to his arm, he knew he would keep her safe as they crossed the train tracks back inside the station. He exhaled in relief. The worst was over.
"What is your relationship with the patient?" the secretary at the desk asked Kelly. She handed Kelly a clipboard and a pen to fill out the information on the form.
"I'm, her sister," Kelly stated as she began reviewing the form. Ethan sat in the waiting room of the hospital nervously. They wouldn't let him go in there with her. She gave him a sad smile saying that she would be fine, but he wasn't convinced. But Kelly had persuaded him to stay out in the waiting room and to let her go by herself. Hopefully she was all right. The doctor had come out once and told them that Silver had bipolar disorder, which made Ethan worry even more. He just wanted to be next to her, making sure she was okay. He couldn't stand waiting outside when she was in such a vulnerable stage.
But when Silver disappeared into the room with the doctor, he and Kelly were able to call the Wilson's and they said they were on their way. Ethan knew it was the right thing to do. They were also worried about her. But he didn't know how Dixon was going to react to all this. Ethan was hesitant to see how this would play out. He didn't feel as secure as he did before. After all, wouldn't it come down to Silver's choice of either choosing him or Dixon?
"Kelly," a voice called. Ethan turned his head and saw Dixon and his parents come in. "Is she okay?" they all asked at once.
"She's fine now," Kelly said. "Silver, uh, has bipolar disorder," she explained to them. It came as a surprise, but when they thought about it, it explained a lot. "But she's okay. The doctor gave her medication," she said.
"Can I go see her?" Dixon asked. Ethan opened his mouth to protest, but Kelly intervened.
"The doctor said it was best if she talked to Silver alone for a bit. But I'm sure we'll be able to see her soon," Kelly said. She had noticed a quiet Ethan sitting in the corner, watching them. "Thanks to Ethan here, he found her and was able to calm her down," she said trying to get the others to acknowledge him. But it didn't look like they cared because then, the door opened, and Silver was revealed. Ethan immediately stood up and looked at her as all around him seemed to disappear. He opened his mouth to greet her with a warm smile, but someone beat him to it.
"Hey," came from Dixon. "I'm so sorry," he said quietly. "Come here." And with that, Silver walked into his arms, and they embraced.
It stung, Ethan's heart. He swallowed dryly and his jaw tightened watching them hug each other. He was alive, right? He was there. So why did he feel so invisible all of a sudden? Wasn't she supposed to be in his arms? Wasn't he supposed to be the one holding her? Ethan restrained himself from causing a scene right then and there. He took in sharp breaths and tried to control his, anger, and hurt.
Kelly and Debbie moved towards Silver and they talked to her and the doctor. But Ethan was frozen in his position. He couldn't move. Maybe he really was invisible…
"Where did you find her?" a voice behind Ethan asked quietly. Ethan turned his head around to see Dixon's father standing next to him. So he was there…
"Uh, Union Station," Ethan answered at the same voice level.
"Good thing you were there," Harry said.
"Yeah," Ethan replied weakly, swallowing again as he kept on watching Silver with Dixon. They were holding hands. Once upon a time, she was holding his hand. Or was that just another mere dream too? No, that wasn't a vision. It did happen. But it was in the past now, and Silver would never remember it. She felt nothing towards Ethan.
"You okay?" Harry asked him. Ethan exhaled slowly. No. But what could he say? He couldn't confess his desire for Silver to her boyfriend's father.
"Fine," Ethan finally gave out. "Long night," he commented. "Just glad that she's okay."
"We all are," Harry responded. "And we have you to thank for that," he added. Was he trying to imply something? "Why don't you call it a night? We've got it covered from here," he said. Was he now trying to push Ethan away? But Ethan didn't object. It was no good standing there and watching. He could stand there forever, and she may never even notice. He was really that invisible to her. Those precious few minutes that he was able to spend and talk to her, were gone. Never again would she see him on the same level as her.
Those were the few minutes their paths had finally crossed. And now they were diverging again. And no matter how much he wanted to stay as close to her as possible, he was slowly being carried away against his will.
"Yeah," Ethan said sighing. "Good night, Mr. Wilson." He gave one last look at her. And for a split second, he thought that she had looked over and acknowledged him with a smile, a smile for him. But it could've just been his imagination as he headed out the door…
He wanted to hurt something. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to smash something. A sudden burst of fury was rushing through him and he wanted to let it out. He was the one that found Silver at the train station. He was the one that brought her to the hospital. He was the one that cared for her. But Dixon is the one she loved.
So all he did was sit in his car. He couldn't drive home where his old life resumed. He couldn't call his friends to hang out like they usually did. He wanted something different. He wanted something new. He wanted to get off this damn path they had created for him. He wanted her, so badly. He wanted her to acknowledge him as more than just King Jock. He wanted to be something more to her than just a friend. He didn't want to be just a mere memory.
