Disclaimer: I don't own the Lord of the Rings or Nightmare before Christmas. They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien and Tim Burton. I do own Rita, Ana, and Cari. But feel free to take them. I sure don't want them.

Once upon a time there were three girls who were best
friends. One girl was named Paulina Elmira Rita Francesca Evita
Clarissa Teresa. She went by Rita, for an unknown reason. She
had soft hair that was so long people tripped over it, eyes that
changed color so much one would have a seizure looking into them,
and teeth so perfect and sharp they could cut through diamonds.
She also radiated light so much that everyone around her had to
wear sunglasses if they didn't want to be blinded. She wore sexy,
revealing clothes that were so sexy and so revealing, men killed
each other to go out with her. She had such a perfect voice that
it made people sick to their stomach to listen to her. Rita was
very nice and would often do things for people... who all happened
to be hot males.
Another girl was Anita Mae, or Ana. She had blondish hair
that was sort of shiny if she washed it well. Her eyes were a kind
of sparkly green/brown. She was skinny, and in fairly good shape.
She wore whatever she pulled out of her closet. Her voice was
sort of pretty, but nothing spectacular. She could be nice, but
most of the time, she just didn't want to.
The third girl was named Cari. She had hair in tangles, mean
eyes and was not very good looking. She wore old clothes and had
the voice of ...something with a bad voice. She also hated people.
One day they were all riding around in Rita's perfectly cool
car. She had agreed to give them a ride because they promised
they would be meeting many attractive young men on the way.
Ana had needed to go to her boyfriend's house, then go with him
to a rave, and Cari had needed to go her boyfriend's house to
break up with him. Both of their boyfriends lived very far away.
She had been driving nearly nine hours and Rita was getting
very tired.
'I wish my friends could drive,' she thought as her eyelids
began to droop. Her friends were already asleep. Pretty soon, so
was she, despite the fact that she neglected to stop the car.
"LOOK OUT, WE'RE GONNA CRASH!" Ana woke up with a
start, waking Rita up as well.
"WHY THE HELL WERE YOU SLEEPING AT THE WHEEL!?"
Cari smacked Rita in the back of her head. Rita stopped the car
before they crashed into a tree. Doing that was actually
pointless, because the car ran out of gas just then. They looked
around them, and realized there were trees almost everywhere.
Apparently they were in some sort of forest. The car had gone
down a path for a little while, then Rita had shifted in her sleep,
causing the car to turn and almost crash into a tree next to them.
Rita got out of the car because she had total confidence
that she could fight off anyone or anything that came near her.
Ana and Cari followed her. They walked down the path, because
that made the most sense, aside from driving away. But they
couldn't do that because, of course, the car had run out of gas.
"What kind of trees are these?" Rita wondered out loud.
The path had ended, and all around them were trees with pictures
on them. They had pictures of things like dragons, fairies,
wizards, and warriors on them. One caught their attention in
particular. It had a picture of Frodo, the hobbit from The Lord
of the Rings on it, holding the one ring of power. When they got
nearer, they realized the ring was a handle.
Cari elbowed Ana in the side. "Hey, check out the tree."
"I'm checking." Ana replied.
"No, I mean go over there and check it out, stupid," Cari
shoved her friend over to the tree. Ana tried pulling at the ring,
but nothing happened.
"Try turning it!" Rita suggested. Ana did so, and the whole
picture on the tree opened like a door.
"Now go in!" Rita commanded, after looking into the hole,
which obviously lead to Middle-Earth.
"Why me?"
Cari grinned at her in a very mean way. "We need someone
to go through and see if it's safe, right?"
Ana took a deep breath and told herself 'You can do this.
Heck, you want to do this. You like The Lord of the Rings. Those
two are just chicken.' Then she let herself fall through the hole
in the tree.
Rita looked down after her. "She landed perfectly on her
feet, but look! There's tons of snow down there! She didn't even
make a footprint!"
"That's because she was turned into an elf, you moron," Cari
glared at her.
"Well, I guess it's safe," Rita said, ignoring her companion's
rude remark. She jumped daintily through the hole, and, rolling
her eyes, Cari followed.
Ana could tell at once what had happened to her. She felt
her ears to be sure, and they came to points at the tips. Then
she jumped up and down on the snow, but didn't even make a dent.
A dark shadow passed overhead.
"INCOMING!" Cari shouted as she landed on Ana. "Hey,
thanks for catching me!" Cari laughed sarcastically, and shoved
Ana's face back into the snow before finally getting off her.
Then they both turned to see that Rita had already landed in the
snow, and had a good laugh.
"This isn't the way it's supposed to be!" Rita covered her
head, tears in her eyes. "I'm supposed to turn into a beautiful
elf, join the Fellowship, fall in love with Legolas, save Gandalf, and
save Boromir! I'm not supposed to be a... a dwarf!"
When they were done laughing, Ana and Cari decided to
console their friend. They were tempted to walk off and leave
her there, but they came to the conclusion that she could be of
some use.
"Hey, being a dwarf isn't so bad," Ana put a hand on her
friend's shoulder.
"But I wanted to be an elf! They're so beautiful!" Rita's
mascara ran down her face.
"You know, dwarves have made some pretty damn beautiful
things before. Crowns, swords, necklaces..." Ana told her.
"Really?" Rita sniffed. "I guess I could get used to this."
"And for a dwarf, you are rather pretty," Ana smiled. Rita
glared at her. "Don't talk to me about MY looks in this place, elf
girl." She looked over at Cari. A more correct statement might
be that she looked down at Cari.
"Aw! You're a cute hobbit!" Rita smirked.
"Shut up. You have no room to talk,"
"How come only Ana became something good?" Rita huffed.
"Says you," Ana crossed her arms. "I don't like elves."
Rita looked as though she was about to kill her, and even
Cari looked a bit angry.
"They're boring," Ana said, knowing she would need some
reasoning behind her dislike for elves. "And they act like they're
better than everyone. I for one would like to be a hobbit.
They're so much more interesting." She turned to Cari. "What
would you like to be? If you could chose, of course."
"Uruk-hai. Or at least an orc," Cari said as if it were the
most obvious thing in the world.
"Should've guessed," Ana rolled her eyes. Rita started got
up.
"We'd better get going if we don't want to miss the council,"
she told them.
"How do you know the council hasn't already taken place?"
Ana asked.
"Oh. Damn."
'Well, if you want to go to Rivendell anyway, I'm pretty sure
it's that way," Cari pointed in a certain direction.
"How can you tell?" Ana asked.
"I memorized all the maps in the books," Cari walked away,
and Rita and Ana followed.