LOVE NOT LUST

I wiped the tears from eyes as I stood gazing into the glorious meadow, our meadow, on the worst day of my life. Although the meadow isn't exactly the same as it has always been because it has been covered in beautiful decorations and plenty of stunning flowers. If you knew Alice you would think this was below her "expectations" though in everyone else's eyes it is dazzling, Alice isn't too happy about it, I made her promise not to go overboard.

It is in fact my wedding day, I guess not completely the worst day of my life, I'm just so nervous. Everyone's going to be staring at me! Even though there really isn't much of a guest list to stare; we decided to have a small wedding. I honestly didn't want to have one at all, just a trip to Vegas and then have my transformation begin. Every time I even thought about Vegas, my guilty conscience kicked in. How would Renee react? And what about Charlie… I couldn't just randomly leave him; it would hurt him to much. I finally got over my selfish ego and agreed to this gruesome human experience. The news certainly didn't go by well with Renee, she freaked just like I knew she would. She automatically explained to me that I was making a huge mistake, just like she had. She went on and on and on about how I was too young, but in the end I told her there was no changing my mind and that she would highly regret not attending. I must admit I was more nervous to break the news to Charlie; however he took it better than I thought he would. He said he had been expecting it, just like he had said a few weeks ago about him having a 'feeling' that he was going to lose me soon. Typical Charlie had to then lecture me on not doing anything stupid or rash that could affect my well being.

After all the invites had been sent to the lucky (or should I say unlucky?) few, I was hearing people gossip about it all throughout Forks. "Did you hear? The young Swan girl is marrying one of the Cullens?" and of course the occasional exaggeration "I heard that the girl's pregnant and he felt forced into proposal." But of coarse that was not it at all, not even close! But in the end it was all going to be worth it, after this day I get to spend all eternity with my Edward.

The past few weeks have been well, quite interesting actually. Seeing Alice constantly running around trying to plan every bit of the wedding perfectly has been highly amusing. Fortunately Alice has been keeping me very busy, and all the time she wasn't holding me hostage I was with Edward. It really kept my mind off of Jacob Black. I haven't been thinking of him much, but I do wish he would've called. The last time we spoke was at his house in La Plush, I told him we could only be friends; he didn't take it very well. He said he would call me when he was ready to call, and that I shouldn't call him. Edward, the Cullens, and even Charlie tried to not bring up Jacob as much as possible, they knew it would make me upset. Even the word "dog" or "mutt" made me queasy. I sometimes get the feeling that Edward's keeping something from me about Jacob, but I wouldn't dare ask, I don't want Edward to see me shed anymore tears for Jacob Black.

Luckily I've managed to get away from quite a few shopping trips with Alice, with a little help from Emmet. He just loves having me around; he thinks I'm the most entertaining person he's ever seen in his very long potent life. He's always trying to get me to do some type of physical activity with him, just so he can have a laugh. He asks everyday, the activities range from soccer to tennis, hockey to basketball, and my least favourite dodge ball; I prefer to NOT have enormous red rubber balls thrown hard at my face. Although agreeing to some of Emmet's horrifying sporting events gets me out of a day of shopping, I hate the fact that he knows it too. Therefore every time Alice wants to go on a shopping trip, Emmet plans a treacherous day of activism knowing that I'm going to agree to it. Sometimes I think I'm hurting Alice this way, but she knows I hate shopping; I can't handle it. She's already gotten her way enough anyways, since she convinced me to let her throw this wedding.

Edward hasn't really been around much to my disappointment. He has been going hunting nearby every few days, just so he'll be completely satisfied for our honeymoon; he wouldn't want to leave me for a second then. Edward planned our whole honeymoon, it's all a surprise. All I know is that we leave once the wedding and celebrations are over by private jet. Oh, and we're also going for one whole month! An entire month of being alone with Edward for every second, it's going to be extraordinary. Especially since Edward agreed that it will finally be the night that I get my part of our bargain; I get to have HIM.

As for the other part of the bargain, my transformation has been discussed many times throughout the Cullen family and the day has been set to the date that Edward and I arrive back from our hopefully spectacular honeymoon. Edward will still be the one to perform my alteration, even though I know he doesn't want to, he and I would both rather have him do it than someone else. I'm eager to get it done so I know in fact that I will be spending eternity with Edward. It's not so much the fact that I'm scared of dieing or scared of the Cullens getting hurt due to me, because, well, there's no one after me anymore. Once Edward finished off Victoria and then the Cullen along with the pack destroyed the newborns, my worries slowly began to evaporate. Everything that has happen these past few years have all led to this day, and it was soon about to begin. I was almost certain I heard someone entering the room; well actually it's more of a gigantic tent. Leave it to Alice to find the biggest possible piece of portable shelter for the bride and bridesmaid dressing area.

First fan fic, I got many ideas for the rest of this story! PLEASE review I'll reply if it's a good one.