I had to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head,
They crawled in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape, to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home.
I had to erase the more painful memories of you, they kept playing without my starting the program and ended up reminding me that you're no longer here. The memories where so painful that it made me play memories of the battlefield just to stop them from playing.
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain.
My pride has been damaged along with my body, witch is having trouble moving.
I think a few things have broken in my head and arm, the arm no longer moves and my head is… hurting.
An ounce peace is all I want for you, will you never call again?
I hope you're okay where ever it is you are. I'm a bit sad that I don't have any way of knowing.
And will you never say that you love me, just to put it in my face?
I thought of us as friends, but you always said that we didn't need friends. Now I wonder if you even knew that at one point you where as close as a brother to me as anyone could be?
And will you never try to reach me, It is I that wanted space.
I know I told you not to fight when they kicked me out, but do you agree with them when they said I was a failed experiment? You haven't told me otherwise, and I never hear from you now.
Hate me today…
Hate me tomorrow…
Hate me so you can finely see what good, for you…
Though, this may be for the best. If you hate me, then the doctor will have no reason to get rid of you. And you can finely focus on your own needs, instead of mine.
I'm sober now for three whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with.
It's been three months since I used the chaos emeralds, you helped with that. Who knew it would have such a strong reaction to machines?
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again.
I never told you the thing that helped me the mos,t was knowing that if I didn't get over it, then you would leave. Now I wouldn't even think of using them again.
In a sick way I wanna thank you for holding my head up late at night.
I want to thank you for you're help with that. Sometimes you even had to hold me down so I wouldn't try to go get the emeralds again.
Whale I was busy waging wars on myself, you where trying to stop the fight.
I almost felt like I had more then one A.I. in my head, both fighting to get the upper hand, but you where there and you knew how to help me get over it.
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate.
You didn't talk much, but you never said I was wrong when I almost got myself killed by refusing sonic's help like everyone else did. I knew you where shocked when I lived, but you were just happy that I was alive.
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take.
After being beaten by sonic so many times, it took its toll on my mind. I would doubt I had what it took, but you always told me I was ten times better them him. If it wasn't for you, I may not have gotten as far as I did.
So I'll drive so f***ing far away, that I never cross your mind.
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind.
So that's why I did what got them to kick me out, so that when I do go, you won't be hurt. I hope by the time I die, you'll have left me behind and found another to be you're friend.
Hate me today…
Hate me tomorrow…
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you…
Hate me in ways…yeah, ways hard to shallow…
Hate me so you can finely see what good for you…
So as long as you hate me, everything will turn out fine. Even if you have to make something up, that even the doctor would think implausible. As long as you hate me.
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave.
Watching you leave with the others, I know you were the only one to look back and saw me wave. I know that if I could, I'd cry.
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made.
I keep looking over my memories and data banks to see if things could have gone differently, but everything always turns out the same.
And like a baby boy, I never was a man.
until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hands.
I never did understand the bond I felt between sonic and the fox, it wasn't something I knew. It was warm, I didn't know what it was until I felt the warm first hand.
And then I fell down yelling to make it go away.
Just make a smile come back and shine, just like it used to be.
One day you found a site about how you would steal souls and kill people, and from that day on you were cold. We fought, we never fought before. It scared me, the thought that I could lose you to this… but I'm not good at helping people like you, everything I said just made it worse or ended in a fight.
And then she whispered 'how could you do this to me?'
When I told you I had to go, I didn't think that you would care. But you asked why I was being so cold. Had I always been cold? Was it I that changed? My 'heart' feels heavy with another feeling I do not under stand, it was one I felt when sonic realized that he couldn't save me… so very cold and bitter.
Hate me today…
Hate me tomorrow…
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you…
Hate me in ways… yeah ways hard to swallow…
Hate me so you can finely see what good for you…
So hate me. Hate me in every way, so that you can move on and not need to think about feelings you do not understand. This will be the only thing left of my memories, if you ever find me. So my last words for this world to hear, Hate me, hate me with everything you've got….
*would you like to shut down?*
Yes…
*you do understand that if you do this you will not be able to turn back on?*
Yes…
*shut down activated, files deleted, remote start deactivated. Good bye…*