Title: Under the Stars
Disclaimer: Eric Kripke, I know you own it. Please don't sue me. Thanks :)
Summary:"It's a funny thing that happens when the chips are down". A inside look at Sam's Swan Song.
By: Holden Skye Riley
Enjoy !
Under the Stars
It's a funny thing that happens when the chips are down. When the world is ending, literally, and you're trapped in your mind cause of an evil angel who has family issues and decided that the best thing to do was take it out over six billion people cause of it, something happens.
Who would have thought it would be cause of some silly green army man that you left stuck in a car. Cause Sam Winchester was fighting. Man, he was fighting. Every punch that that bastard threw on his brother was making him fight harder. Not for him, and maybe it was selfish, but not for those six billion people either.
It was for Dean. Because maybe it was that little green army man that snapped him back into himself, but it all went back to Dean. Dean and that damn Impala. The Impala that was his only home for all of his life, the one constant in the insane existence that he made a habit of running from.
Good that did him.
Turns out, like most of everything, Sam was wrong.
Cause that Impala was really Dean. The only home that he ever knew wasn't the Impala, it was Dean because he was in the Impala, because all the metal and burgers and cassette tapes and peanut M&M's made he thought that made up the Impala was what made Dean.
And god, he was a bad brother. He goes to heaven and shows Dean that all he wanted to be alone, when the only thing that he ever really wanted was his brother. He trusts a demon over him. He goes to Stanford and never calls. If he was to get a grade on brotherhood, he would get a big fat F. Or whatever was lower than a F.
He was so sick of failing Dean. He never cared if he failed his John, or Bobby or even the world. He just wanted to do something right for once in his life.
He wanted his big brother to be proud of him. Most people would get a good grade or win a trophy. For him, it was saving the world. That little green army man did it. It sent him to place that was better than anything he had ever experienced, better then a trip to Heaven. He took him to a world of sitting under the stars on the roof of the Impala, drinking a beer with his best friend. It took him to tone deaf, laughing till his stomach hurt jams with his singing partner. It took him to carving initials in a car with his partner in crime. To his great defender who went to Hell for him. It took to crappy motels and barely working cable and bad food everything good he thought he forgot.
It took him to the best thing he ever got. It wasn't some stupid car. It was the life that he got from that car.
And it happened. He broke free and took control and he was there. Dean was looking him, broken and scared and he wanted to say something profound and something that mattered, something that would let Dean know how much his faith in his mattered, how it always mattered. How he loved him, and how much he was sorry for all the mistakes he had made. How he was the most important thing that he had ever had, and how much he didn't want to leave him, but he had to. How he could never really thank him making him a stronger, better person because he believed that he was.
When he threw down those rings, he knew that he was gone, and he didn't even know what he had said to Dean, something that wasn't enough, but the best he could do.
When he closed his eyes and Micheal came back, and went on about some stupid battle that really didn't matter, Sam decided to take the bastard down with him, and prayed that someday Adam would forgive him for what he had done.
He prayed for Bobby and Castiel, more people who he loved and cared about, and who he had failed. He hoped they were better place, their version of Heaven.
He hoped that God, where ever he was, would forgive him for all mistakes he had made, and maybe saving the world was good enough for putting it in danger in the first place.
He prayed that Dean would somehow be happy and have that "apple pie". A part of him also know that he would be able to keep it for long, because in end of all it, he was still Dean Winchester. A hunter who may not know how to leave the only life he ever had. Then again, maybe he was wrong.
And while he was falling, and Lucifer was screaming inside his head, he was already gone.
He was under the stars with his big brother.
AN: Love it? Hate it? Let me know. It's my first fic in years, and it's nice to be back! This will be a two-parter, and I will have up asap
-Holden