Justice League Ragnarok
(Sequel to Girl of Steel and Batman V Supergirl)
Themyscira
Amazonian Queen, Hippolyta, and her gathered warriors circled around a portal that had become activated. Their spears and shields were ready for whoever was on the other side. A brilliant flash of light momentarily stunned them. As the light faded, a large muscular man in black clothes appeared. He had rough black facial hair, pale skin, red eyes, wild black hair, and was covered in body hair. In his mouth was a half-finished cigar.
"Greetings Ladies, the name is Lobo, and I'm here to collect a Kyptonian female. Any of you know where she may be?" he asked.
"For what purpose?" Hippolyta demanded.
"I am going to take her out on a real nice date and pander her all night," Lobo lied.
"I don't believe you," Hippolyta glared at him.
"You wouldn't be the first," Lobo admitted stepping towards the Amazonian women. "So many fine women all in one place; just makes me feel funny inside," Lobo grinned.
"We're not women," Hippolyta declared.
"What?" Lobo asked confused.
"We're Amazonians!" Hippolyta said and then gestured her warriors to charge him.
"Oh, thew, here I thought…," Lobo said relieved.
Amazonians attacked him in mass, but he merely swiped them away. Chuckling, he beat each Amazonian to the ground and took hold of Hippolyta's neck. "I don't think you know who you're dealing with," Lobo said as he blew smoke in her face.
"Foul beast," she spat.
"That's what I'm talking about," Lobo said pleased. "Now, tell me where the Kryptonian is," he demanded.
"She has already passed," Hippolyta answered.
"Passed as in…oh, you mean dead?" Lobo asked shocked.
"She died a warrior's death," Hippolyta said boldly.
"Damn. What else does this planet got?" Lobo asked disappointed.
A sudden boom threw Lobo to the ground. Diana appeared with sword and shield ready. "Diana?" Hippolyta gasped.
"I'm here, mother. I'll take care of this pig," she said confidently.
Lobo got up and shook his head. "Got a lot of ringing in my ears now," he said.
"Who are you?" Diana demanded.
"The name's Lobo. Here's my card," Lobo said and then punched Diana into a wall.
Diana quickly got back to her feet and charged Lobo with her sword. Lobo placed his palm out and disintegrated her sword into ash as it hit.
"Not again," Diana sighed.
Lobo punched at Diana, but she blocked with her shield. Lobo's punch cracked the shield apart. "Impossible," Diana said stunned.
"Believe it, little lady," Lobo said getting closer to her.
Diana placed her lasso around him. "Where are you from?" she demanded.
Lobo resisted the lasso and forced Diana close to himself. "The honest truth is that I'm sorry I have to sell you away," Lobo said.
"What?" Diana asked outraged.
Lobo dropped a capsule that transformed into a space motorcycle. "We're going on a ride. Hold tight," Lobo said giving Diana a kiss.
"Foul beast, I will…," Diana said and then suddenly accelerated into outer space.
Lobo arrived near a large arena on an alien planet. Large statues of an alien warlord were everywhere. "Here we are," Lobo said and used Diana's own lasso to tie her up.
"You will regret this. My friends will find me," Diana threatened.
"Right, sister," Lobo doubted.
Lobo carried the uncooperative Diana to a throne room. The alien warlord known as Mongul stepped forth to look over what Lobo had brought him. "This is the Kryptonian?" he asked skeptically.
"Unfortunately, the Kryptonian is dead, so I brought a substitute from Earth," Lobo said.
"A human? They are a pitiful race," Mongul said.
"This woman has strands of Kryptonian and human DNA. She's from a race of warrior women. I fought her myself. She ain't bad," Lobo pitched.
"A hybrid? How intriguing," Mongul allowed.
"I will not fight for your amusement," Diana spat.
"Oh, but you will," Mongul said confidently. "If you don't give me a good show, I'll destroy Earth. If you want your freedom back, you will have to defeat my champion," Mongul grinned.
"Let me face him then," Diana said confidently.
Deprived of her Amazonian weapons, Diana made due with a sword from the armory. She was then brought forth into the arena where thousands of alien species booed her. Mongul sat on his throne in the center box looking over the arena. To his left was none other than Hal Jordan of the Green Lantern Corp.
Diana looked up and saw Hal enjoying the tournament in his Green Lantern uniform. "Hal? You asshole," she shouted at him and gave him the middle finger for good measure.
"You know this woman?" Mongul asked Hal amused.
"Can't say that I do," Hal denied.
"Get me out of here, Hal!" Diana shouted.
"Let me take care of this," Hal said and then floated to Diana.
"What are you doing here?" Diana asked outraged.
"Look, Diana, I have to take care of a very big sector. Sometimes, you have to compromise for the greater good," Hal said embarrassed.
"These gladiator games are for the greater good?" Diana asked skeptically.
"Yes, if we didn't have these games these alien races would be out killing each other. This distracts them from their hatred of each other. Now, put on a good show for these guys but not too good, because I'm betting on the other guy," Hal said.
"Fuck you, Hal," Diana said as he flew off.
The gates opened and the alien races began to cheer. "Your champion!" Mongul said loudly.
Diana readied herself for anything. Would it be a large beast, a humanoid fighter with super-fast speed and reflexes, or perhaps an elemental? To her surprise, a boy in a red shirt walked out and waved to the crowd.
The crowd went wild dumbfounding Diana. "Really?" she wondered.
Hal smirked to Mongul. "She has no idea what's coming."
Diana confronted the kid. "I have nothing against you, boy. I must defeat you to save my world," Diana said politely.
"Lady, you're going to get your ass whipped," Billy smirked. "SHAZAM!" he cried out. Lightning from the sky hit Billy and transformed him into a muscular grown man.
Diana backed away wondering what to make of him. The alien crowd shouted "Shazam" repeatedly as they rooted for him. Diana readied her sword and went for an attack.
"Yeah, no," Shazam said and blasted her with lightning.
Diana went flying to the other side of the arena. Shazam used super-speed to get to Diana and threw her across the arena. Diana got back up only to find Shazam on her. She swung at him with her sword, but it broke upon hitting his chest. Shazam took hold of Diana and slammed her multiple times into the ground.
"Beat her ass, beat her ass!" the aliens cried out.
Shazam blasted Diana with lightning, which she was able to deflect with her wrist bands. "That's a nice trick," Shazam smirked.
"We don't have to do this," Diana told him.
"Sure, we do. If I win, Uncle Mongul will give me cakes and ice cream," he said.
Diana felt unnerved by the fact that a grown ass man was talking to her with the voice of a little boy. "Mongul isn't your friend. He's manipulating you," Diana said.
Shazam was on Diana quickly giving her a Falcon Punch to the gut. Hal winced a little as Diana was getting the beating of her life. Finally, Shazam placed his boot on the defeated Diana and waited for Mongul's approval.
Mongul got off his throne and eyed the defeated Diana. He raised his hand ready to give the thumbs up or down. "What do you think, Green Lantern?" Mongul asked.
"Honestly, I would like to see her live another day. Maybe, bring her out for some mud wrestling. I know a half-human-half-cheetah that would be perfect for it," Hal suggested.
"Very well," Mongul allowed and gave Diana a thumbs up.
Shazam lifted his boot off Diana. "See you at my place," he said and walked off.
A beaten and exhausted Diana was brought to an alien apartment where she quickly fell asleep. Once she awoke, she looked around to find Billy playing with a spaceship toy. She also discovered she was naked.
"What the fuck?" she wondered.
"Oh, you're awake. Want to play with my toys?" he asked.
"No, I have to get back to Earth," she said flustered and used her blankets to cover herself.
"What's so special about Earth? There are so many exciting things that happen here. There are so many planets and star systems. I'm going to be the first human to see them all," Billy said enthusiastically.
"Look, kid. I don't have the same ambition that you do. I was on an island for thousands of years and never left," Diana said.
"That sounds so boring," Billy remarked.
"You can't keep doing this. You're killing everyone that Mongul gives a thumbs down to," Diana pointed out.
"Yeah, most of those guys are scumbags that Lobo finds," Billy said dismissively.
"I'm not one of those. I'm a hero on Earth, a member of the Justice League," Diana explained.
"Really?" Billy asked curiously. "I heard Lobo was going to get a Kryptonian female."
"That was Kara. She died gloriously in battle," Diana said.
"Wow, I would love to meet her," Billy said.
"Well, you can't. She's dead," Diana shot down.
"Like that's ever stopped me. I'll just use my power to resurrect her," Billy said obviously.
"You can do that?" Diana asked curiously.
"Of course, I can. I have so many powers. I can remember everything I read, I'm super-strong and super-fast, I got the power of lightning, I can fly, I can…," Billy listed off all his powers.
"I got it," Diana said bored as Billy spent the last few minutes detailing his powers. "How do you get bigger?" Diana asked.
"Wouldn't you like to know," Billy said with a flirtatious smile.
"I do," Diana said not taking the hint.
"Look, I can get you off this planet, but you have to bring me to this Kryptonian," Billy demanded.
"Agreed," Diana said quickly.
"Here's the problem. I can fly, but I can't fly at light-speed to get back to Earth," Billy said disappointed with himself.
"I know someone who can," Diana frowned.
Hal Jordan was minding his own business when he was suddenly ambushed by Diana and Shazam. "I want off this planet, and you better help me," Diana said fiercely.
"Yeah, you better," Shazam said with Billy's voice.
"I'll take it from here," Diana told him.
"I would, but yellow is my weakness, as in lots of yellow gold," Hal explained.
"You bastard! You're a Justice League member," Diana reminded him.
"I'm more than just a member of your club," Hal said condescendingly. "I'm basically a god."
"You pompous ass. I've fought gods more powerful than you," Diana said angrily and then swiped off his green mask.
Hal gave Diana a sheepish look as she crinkled the mask that was clearly not made of energy. "What the?" Diana wondered. She then tore at his suit confirming her suspicions.
"Where's your god powers now, Hal?" Diana asked outraged.
Hal sighed. "Right now, the main battery at Oa is a little low. It has something to do with this civil war within the Corp that I may or may not have been responsible for," Hal said embarrassed.
"You've been acting like you have powers this whole time to impress Mongul," Diana accused.
"I sense you're green with envy," Hal replied.
"How long until your ring recharges?" Diana demanded.
"Well, that depends on whether Sinestro is defeated anytime soon, and he's winning, so…," Hal let it hang.
"What if I charge his ring?" Shazam suggested.
"Good idea, kid. I would love to see you shocked for a change," Diana said angrily.
"That isn't going to work. His powers are yellow energy based. It will simply bounce off the ring," Hal said.
"So, we're stuck here?" Diana asked outraged.
"We might be able to get a ship," Hal suggested.
Mongul was resting on his throne when an alien assistant woke him. "What is it?" he demanded.
"Someone has stolen your favorite ship, my Lord," the assistant said.
"I pity the fool that would steal one of my ships," Mongul said outraged.
Hal, Diana, and Shazam went straight towards a warm hole that would get them back to Earth. "I'm pretty sure that if we go through the Devil's asshole, we will get to Earth," Hal said confidently.
"What?" Diana wondered.
"That red thing," Hal pointed.
"You really know how to fly this thing?" Shazam asked skeptically.
"Yeah, kid. How about you make yourself useful and fry all those ships that are after us," Hal said irritably.
"Okay!" Shazam said and stood on top of the ship.
"I'll help," Diana joined in.
Shazam fired lightning at the pursuing ships causing them to explode or crash. Some of the ships crashed into buildings filled with people and then those buildings crashed into crowded squares. The whole city was being ripped apart from Shazam's discharges.
"Wicked!" Shazam said as he continued his killing spree.
Diana merely deflected incoming laser beams with her arm bracelets to shield the ship. Hal piloted the ship up into the air towards the portal. "Here goes nothing," Hal said as they entered.
Diana and Shazam reentered the ship as it went faster-than-light towards Earth.