I remember when I was just a little girl, I always wanted my own huge fantasy wedding, full of cream colored lace, pink ribbons and dozens of bouqueted flowers, surrounding a large Christian church, or a beautiful dance hall.But after all those years of "pretend" playing, I am now starting to lose hope in this fairytale wedding that I dreamed of for all those years. The reason for my doubt? Unless I want to marry a pot-bellied couch potato man and move to a deserted town in Kentucky, then my doubt is definetly on the bullseye.
People always say that starting out at a new high school right in the middle of your high school career is extremely hard to adjust and that you are then considered the "new" kid and not accepted into any group. I never reallybelieved it because I always thought, "People couldn't be that mean, could they?" But since moving from Birmington, New Jersey, I have found this concept to be totally and unbelievably true.
I had prayed to God that my new school would be like one of those cheesy high school flicks that you see on Disney Channel. There would be a shy new girl (which would be me, Lana), and then she would catch the rebel guy's eye, and well, to make the story short...rebel guy + shy new girl L O V E at first sight. Again, my hypothesis is wrong. At this new school, Colorton High, it's more like the guys don't notice me. I am invisible. Maybe I am just not trying hard enough. I decided after "it" happened, I would put myself out there again, not be afraidto obtainanother broken heart.But, I really don't want to go through that pain again.
My old school, Birmington High is just like Colorton High...accept it doesn't include Kyle. After I met Kyle, my whole world shifted. Kyle was everything I wanted and needed for myself. He seemed to know everything about me the first time I met him. He knew everything I desired right at that moment. There is just one way to say all of this in three words...he completed me. He paid attention to me more then any other person I had every known. I remember one day where he nearly broke my heart.
"Do you like me and if I were to leave in the morning and never come back, would you cry every night?" I romantically stuttered. He stared deep into space, his brown hair, falling over his eyes as his eyes dropped to the floor. He looked back up with the straightest face I had ever seen and replied with a cold voice,
"I do not like you and I would definetly not cry if you left me in the morning." I remember at that moment, my whole world collapsed right in front of my eyes. I tried to shield my tears from the man whom I thought loved me, but they were to powerful. I looked up at him, tears rolling down my face. He stumbled closer and closer to me with each breathe I took. He gently grabbed my tear-stricken face into his left hand, and pulled his face just inches away from my own. He wrapped his right arm around my waist and drew me even closer, and then he carefully whispered,
"The reason I don't like you is because I love you. And the reason I wouldnt't cry if you left is because I would die if you left." His face then gently touched mine and kissed my quivering lips.
Sophmore year was a blast because of Kyle, but I had to get out of Birmington, because I was never the same after that one tradgic afternoon when I would never see my destined soul mate's face ever again.