A/N: So, yeah. Songfic for Hurt's Wonderful Life, which I recommend for you to listen. I actually wrote this as a one-shot, but it got pretty long and it's evening and I'm tired because I've slept like 8 hours in the last… 60 hours because of a Gleek Out! –meeting last weekend (which was totally awesome and everyone was great and forever klaining and I don't think I've screamed that much even at any concert I've been to, my throat is still a bit sore) and episode 5 soon and asdklfjgjhljlkj I don't even know what my emotions are doing and I don't know, I just felt like posting the first half now and the rest of it later. Not tomorrow because busy and not on Wednesday because Glee (because stupid time zones) but Thursday, maybe? I don't know, we'll see.

Anyway. Don't own the song or characters or anything and I hope you enjoy.

He stares at the cold-looking, dark water, not even bothering to stop his tears from falling. He leans on the railing, biting his lip.

Kurt can't go back, he just can't. Who knows what Karofsky can do? There's no way to know what is going on in that kid's head. No way to know how violent he can possibly get when pissed off, not to mention the fact he's apparently a closeted gay and attracted to Kurt. The looks, the touches, the kiss… Who knows how far he's ready to go to get what he wants?

Kurt lives in constant fear, flinching at school when he turns around the corner, jumping when he hears someone slam a locker door.

Even at home, where he's supposed to be safe, he's scared. He hasn't told anyone about the threat, and he sure as hell ain't gonna tell anyone about the dark figure he saw standing outside their house the other night. He has no proof that it was Karofsky, and his dad worries about him enough as it is, he's sick, and Kurt can't bear the thought of risking his health and causing him more trouble.

So he's all alone with his fear. He tries not to let it show, and he hasn't admitted it to anyone else but himself, but he is so damn terrified, all the time. He avoids being alone as much as possible, because he wants to believe Karofsky wouldn't do anything around other people. Kurt never walks long distances alone, he always keeps his phone with him and at school he always avoids empty hallways.

Nothing worse has happened yet, but the constant fear and having to always watch over his shoulder is starting to take its toll. He's stressed, he manages his homework but he's pretty much lost his appetite ad he's losing weight, he cries himself to sleep every night but is still tired. He never sleeps much at night. It takes him forever to fall asleep, and when he finally does, he's having awful nightmares about Karofsky and after waking up in cold sweat and crying, he doesn't want to fall asleep anymore, so he stays up until his alarm clock goes off.

He manages to keep up his usual self, so no one notices anything when he flashes a fake smile in the morning or complains to Mercedes about another horrible costume choice of Rachel's in Glee Club.

But he's so tired. Tired of keeping up the happy, sassy front, tired of being afraid, tired on pretending he's okay when he most certainly isn't.

So that's how he ends up on that bridge, staring over the railing, teary-eyed.

Kurt's used to bullying, it's been happening pretty much his whole life. Ever since he was a 5-year-old boy playing alone in the sandbox, because no one wanted to play with him. He was too girly to play with the other boys, but he was still a boy, so the girls didn't want to play with him, either. So he rarely went out, but when he did, he usually just played by himself or with his mom or dad.

When he went to school, the bullying got worse. Name calling, pushing him around, just plain ignoring and leaving him out, making him feel like he didn't belong. His mom dying made it all feel even worse, when she wasn't there singing to him every night anymore, being there to cry on her shoulder. Kurt had his loving dad, yes, but it really wasn't the same and Kurt felt so alone.

In high school the slushie facials and dumpster tosses started. The name calling got worse, too, and after the first time he was called a fag, he came home crying. After that he forced himself to build a shield and get used to all that crap despite it still hurting.

His crush on Finn didn't help, either. The dumpster tosses felt even worse when he was with them, not doing anything to stop it despite claiming to be his friend, at least some sort of. At least they were in the Glee Club together, that should've count, right?

Seeing Finn with Quinn and Rachel was pure agony, knowing he could never have a chance with him, but he did his best to hide his feelings. It didn't really work out, though, when Finn throw it right on his face that night in the basement, breaking Kurt's heart, shattering it in thousands of pieces. Sure, Kurt was in love with him, but was it really that horrible? Okay, he had set up their parents together to get Finn to move in with them, but it's not like he did it to get into his pants when he was asleep, he just wanted to know him better.

Luckily they managed to made up and became basically brothers, well, step-brothers, and Kurt learned to love him as one.

Then Sam happened. Kurt immediately developed a crush on him, but most of all, he thought he had found a friend. Sam was the one guy who didn't judge him and was actually even willing to sing a duet with him, but all the pressuring from Finn and his dad made Kurt let go of the idea and sing by himself. He was fabulous, obviously, but alone. The duet with Rachel comforted him, but he still couldn't shake off the thought of never finding anyone, when he couldn't even sing a duet with a guy without people telling him he was selfish for basically giving the guy a death sentence.

Then he met Blaine and everything change. Wonderful, supporting, beautiful Blaine. Finally someone who he had an immediate connection with, someone who has also been bullied for being gay, someone who supports him and encourages him and really cares about him.

It was also love at first sight. The moment their eyes met in that staircase, Kurt fell in love, his heart beating like a drum as he took the boy's hand and followed him. For the sake of their friendship, though, Kurt forced the feelings to the back of his mind.

Yes, Blaine is definitely the best friend Kurt could ask for, and he's making Kurt happier than he's ever been, just by being a part of his life, but all the feelings he has kept inside for all these year, not to mention his secret love for his best friend, and all the stuff with Karofsky, it's just all too much.

Kurt has never seriously considered suicide, not really. He has gone through hell but he's always managed to keep up the will to live and become something great. But there's only so much pain a boy can go through in his life before breaking.

"If you tell anyone, I am gonna kill you."

Well, Kurt hadn't told anyone, and wasn't planning to, but ending his life himself sounded so much better and keep living in this fear and heartache and misery.

There are three letters in his locker to be found next morning or whenever they go through his stuff. One for his dad, one for his friend in Glee and one for Blaine. They haven't even known each other for long, but he's been so amazing to Kurt he felt like he deserved it.

It has started to be a bit chilly and Kurt shivers in his thin coat. He looks down, knows the water's gonna be freezing but right now he really doesn't care.

He swallows as he lifts his left leg over the railing. He lifts the other one too, getting up on the railing, sitting there and staring at the water.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Kurt turns to look who's talking, only to see a terrified Blaine. No, no no no no no this is so not how this is supposed to go! Blaine is not supposed to be here, he is supposed to be at home practicing Katy Perry or whatever and to get a call tomorrow, too late to do anything. What the hell is he even doing here, anyway? No one ever goes here.

"I could ask you the same", Kurt manages to say, his voice quivering.

"Wanted to get away from my parents for a while, and it doesn't even matter. What are you doing up there?" Blaine asks, walking closer and Kurt is staring to panic.

"Nothing, enjoying the view." He knows Blaine doesn't believe him.

"The hell you are", the boy says and Kurt shifts uncomfortably. "You're not gonna jump, are you?"

"What if I am?" Kurt snaps. "There's nothing you can do about it."

"Kurt, get the fuck down", Blaine demands, sounding both angry and frightened and Kurt startles because he was never heard Blaine swear.

"No. I don't wanna do this anymore. I can't, I won't, and I'm doing this, Blaine." He looks down at the water and swallows, then turns back to look at Blaine, who is getting uncomfortably close.

"Kurt, don't."

"Don't come closer!" Kurt shouts and Blaine freezes. "Don't come closer or I swear I will jump!"

"Kurt, please! I don't understand why you're doing this."

"Because life just sucks, okay? I just don't wanna be here anymore. It hurts too much."

"Has something happened?"

"No. Nothing happened, okay? Just leave me alone." Kurt is starting to get angry, why is Blaine doing this, why can't he just go?

"I'm not going anywhere. I care about you, Kurt. Please don't do this, just talk to me, please", Blaine begs and Kurt can see tears in his eyes, making his own eyes burn, too.

"Fine. You wanna know what happened? Karofsky fucking happened", he yells, startling Blaine. "He said he's gonna kill me, so might as well save him the trouble."

"Wait, what? He threatened to kill you?" Blaine asks, eyes widened. "When?"

"A couple weeks ago", Kurt shrugs, biting his lip.

"What? Why didn't you tell me? Did you tell anyone?"

"I didn't wanna worry anyone. I've cause enough trouble already", Kurt says so quietly it's almost a whisper.

"Oh, Kurt", Blaine sighs and Kurt doesn't even notice he gets closer until he feels a hand on his shoulder. He doesn't shrug it away.

"I just can't do this anymore, Blaine. I can't. He keeps giving me these looks and touching me when no one notices and I'm living in constant fear, not knowing what he's gonna do next. I'm just so tired of it, Blaine, tired of everything", he whispers, blinking rapidly away his tears.

"Please don't do this", Blaine says quietly, his voice quivering. "I care about you too much to let you go. We can get through this together, Kurt. I know we can. I'm always gonna be there for you, no matter what. I promise. Just please, please get down."

Kurt looks up, staring at those teary hazel eyes, begging him not to do this.

"I'm just so scared", he whispers.

"I know. I am too. But don't do this, Kurt. If not for you, for me. If you jump, you're not just killing yourself, you're killing me, too."

"Can't I just be selfish, just for once?"

"Please, Kurt. I need you here. You saved my life", Blaine says and Kurt looks at him, surprised.

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't told you this, but I was beaten up a couple years ago. Badly. That's why I transferred to Dalton."

"I'm sorry", Kurt says and Blaine shakes his head.

"I love Dalton because I know I'm safe there and I have great friends there, but the beating really got me down. I was really depressed and having nightmares and I went to therapy and was on medication." He takes a small pause and Kurt tried to hold back tears. "Dalton's all about fitting in, being like everyone else. No one really sticks out, and I got used to it, but sometimes it was really devastating, keeping everything inside.

"My parents are another thing. They never truly accepted me, as you know." Kurt nods. "They tolerate me and act like we're a happy family, but I know that on the inside they're wondering what have they done wrong, having a fag as a son."

"I'm sorry", Kurt whispers again.

"Then I met you." Blaine's lips curve into a small smile. "When I saw you in that staircase, you blew my mind. Meeting someone like you, as unique, flamboyant, open and brave, it just saved me, Kurt. I made me think that if there actually is someone like you, that if that person is a part of my life, maybe I'll make it, too." Kurt blushes slightly.

"I'm not brave, Blaine. Don't you see what I'm about to do?" he whispers.

"There's only so much courage one can have", Blaine shakes his head. "And you've had it more than anyone I've ever met. I'm just asking you to have a little bit more courage, Kurt. Just a little bit more to get down. For me, Kurt. Please." He holds out his hand. Kurt glanced between it and Blaine's eyes hesitantly, but eventually take the hand and gets down. Blaine immediately pulls him into a tight hug and Kurt hugs him back.

After a while they pull away. Blaine wipes away his tears on his sleeve and smiles slightly.

"Don't ever do that again", he says and Kurt smiles, too, wiping away his tears.

"I promise, as long as you're not going anywhere."

"Never."

They just stare at each other for a while, studying each other's expressions, until please decides to open his mouth.

"I love you", he says and Kurt blinks.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I love you", Blaine repeats and smiles, lifting his finger to Kurt's face to wipe away a tear.

"Like, platonically, or…?" Kurt asks, trying convince himself that no, this is not happening, because Blaine can't possibly love him as more that a friend, right?

"No", Blaine shakes his head, letting out a small laugh. "I love you, as in if you let me, I wanna date you and kiss you and make you realize how amazing you are."

"Really?" Kurt swallows a lump in his throat. What even, is this really happening?

"Really. I love you, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. Don't you ever forget that", Blaine says, grabbing Kurt's hips, pulling the boy closer. He never moves his eyes from Kurt's, the hazels staring lovingly at the glistening glass ones.

"I love you too", Kurt manages to whisper before he grabs Blaine's shirt and breaks into tears. Blaine wraps his arms tighter around the crying boy, holds him close and whispers "I love you" in his ear over and over again.

Kurt feels more tired and weaker with every sob, he barely manages to keep his balance as he shakes with his sobs and struggles not to let his knees fail him.

Blaine just holds to boy tightly, his heart breaking at the broken boy in his arms.

"I love you", he keeps whispering, caressing Kurt's back softly. "I love you."

After what seems like hours, Kurt runs out of tears to cry and just sniffs quietly onto Blaine's shirt. Blaine doesn't care that his shirts is all wet, he just holds the boy until he looks up and forms a small, quivering smile.

"I love you", Kurt says, staring right ad Blaine's eyes and Blaine can see how much he means it.

"I know", he replies, smiling, still caressing Kurt's back. "I love you too."

Kurt tilts his head slightly, gaze wondering over Blaine's face, eyes stopping at this lips more than once. This doesn't go unnoticed by Blaine, but he does nothing, he waits for Kurt do to the first move, for it to be up to him.

Kurt decides that right now he wants nothing more than to be closer to Blaine, and he leans closer and softly presses his lips onto Blaine's.

The touch is light and barely existing, but it's there and it's perfect. It's soft and gentle, and Blaine smiles against Kurt's lips as he happily returns the kiss.

Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine's neck, pulling the boy closer. They slightly deepen the kiss, but not too much, because this is their first kiss and it's not meant to lead to anything, its only purpose is to express their love and affection for each other, to be close to each other and feel the warmth and comfort.

Kurt parts his lips slightly, kissing Blaine's upper lip, loving the feeling of the boy so close to him.

Blaine, on his part, has his heart beating faster than it's probably healthy because oh my god they're kissing and wow and he doesn't care about anything else but the beautiful boy kissing him.

Kurt pulls away soon, slowly, and smiles, a bit sadly, Blaine notices.

"That's how my first kiss should have been like", Kurt whispers and lowers his gaze but never lets go of Blaine.

Blaine lifts his hand onto Kurt's neck, caressing the back of his ear with his thumb, and pulls him closer. He doesn't really know what to say, because Kurt is right and it's so unfair that something as precious and personal as his first kiss was stolen from him by that Neanderthal, just like that. So Blaine doesn't say anything, he just presses a kiss on the boy's forehead and holds him.

After a while Kurt looks up and Blaine is once again stunned by his beautiful eyes. They're red and puffy but Blaine can see that sparkle attempting to come back and they're so, so beautiful.

"Thank you", Kurt says and smiles.

"For what?"

"For everything", he shrugs. "For always being there for me. For saving my life. For loving me." His voice breaks a bit at the last part and he lowers his gaze again, and Blaine realized Kurt's obviously not used to being loved, especially so openly, and it breaks his heart. He lifts Kurt chin up and looks into his eyes intensely.

"Hey", he says softly. "You don't ever have to thank me for loving you. You deserve every bit of love and affection and absolutely everything I have to give, okay? You are the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented, incredible and the most lovable person I have ever met. And all those people giving you hell because of who you are, they know nothing and don't deserve to even know you." Kurt blinks away a few tears but never lets his eyes leave Blaine's. His heart is beating so fast he's sure it's about to bump right out of his chest. "You are amazing, Kurt. And if they don't realize that, it's their loss. Do you understand?" Blaine smiles at the look on Kurt's face. The boy swallows and nods, smiling.

"Okay. Yeah. Okay."

"Good." Blaine presses one more kiss on Kurt's forehead before he pulls away. He holds out his hand. "Now let's get you home, shall we?" Kurt nods again and takes Blaine's hand. He follows him to Kurt's car, since Blaine doesn't have his, and hesitates.

"Should I drop you home, or…?" he asks but Blaine shakes his head.

"Don't worry about it. You're not driving, so I'll just drive you home and take a bus."

""But…" Kurt's starts to protest but Blaine holds out his hand as a sign to stop talking.

"It's fine, Kurt. I just want you to get home safely. I'll be fine."

"If you're sure…" Kurt mutters and Blaine smiles.

"I'm sure. Now let's go." He opens the door for Kurt who mutters a quiet "thanks", sitting down, and sits himself behind the steering wheel.

He starts the car and turns to smile at Kurt, who can't help but smile back. He has never felt so loved, and for a while he wonders if there after all is a God who has sent this angel to him.

The drive back to Kurt's house goes quickly, in silence, but neither of them mind, occasionally glancing at each other and smiling.

And before he even notices, Kurt is standing at his front door, holding Blaine's hand.

"Thanks", he says, smiling. Blaine smiles back.

"Call me or text me whenever you feel like it. I don't care if it's four in the morning or in the middle of a school day or in the middle of the night, I'm always there for you, okay?" Kurt nods.

"Goodnight, Blaine", he says and his smile widens as Blaine presses a quick, gentle kiss on his lips.

"Night, Kurt. And remember, courage." Kurt lets out a small laugh.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Blaine presses one more kiss on Kurt's forehead before he heads towards to nearby bus stop. He turns around and stops to wave and Kurt, who waves back, smiling.

Soon the boy is out of sight and Kurt heads inside.

That night, for the first time in years, Kurt is still smiling when he falls asleep.