Author's Note: This past year, a student died in a car accident at my school. While I didn't know him, I could feel the depression from everyone else who did. This one shot is inspired by my experiences.
One Shot
By Lil' Slugger24
The red-headed cheerleader thrust her arms in the air and smiled to the crowd. The scoreboard showed the home team losing 34 to 12 at halftime and the fans were no longer into the event. They conversed silently among themselves while the girls in the purple cheer outfits entertained some and turned-on others.
The music stopped abruptly and the girls all shouted miscellaneous pep chants for the team. They left the center of the court and retreated to their station. Kim Possible, the captain, was the last to leave the court.
She was a beautiful carrot top with green eyes and a slim figure. She smiled majestically to her friend in the mascot uniform, Ron Stoppable. He was doing his own session of the cheer by foaming at the mouth and receiving some applause from fans, none of whom were friends with him or even recognized him in the suit.
Ron had been Kim's best friend since pre-k and planned on keeping that title for a long time. He had blonde hair, brown eyes, average male teenager build, and small speckles of freckles beneath each eye. He howled as Mad Dog, the school mascot, would if he were real. Well, his voice creaked slightly from the strain but the message was still delivered.
The buzzer sounded and the players again took the court, waving enthusiastically to familiars in the crowd. As far as most fans were concerned, this was just a social event or a way to spend a Friday night. After all, who really got wrapped up in a high school sport?
Kim stared at Josh Manke as he trotted around the court in his uniform. She smiled dreamily and blushed slightly. Her pom-poms fell to the ground and she sighed. She had had a crush on the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy for a few months. Then again, what girl hadn't. With his strong body, pleasant smile, and unique intelligence, he was a wonderful gem for any girl to have.
The blonde boy grinned when he noticed Kim staring. Kim's pink cheeks became deep red and she looked to the stands. Josh just laughed and continued his warm-up, the second half was about to start.
A rustling sound brought Kim from her embarrassed trance. She slowly turned to see what was going on. Ron held her pom-poms in one hand and was shaking them so as to get her attention.
"You drop these?" he asked with a smile. "Perhaps a little preoccupied with something?" His voice was leading as if to get Kim to confess her feelings for Manke in public.
Kim snatched the cheer equipment from her friend and smiled angrily yet with hints of friendship. "Can it, Mad Dog. We're on."
Ron smiled at his joke for a final time and then put his mask back on. He followed the girls to the sideline and danced maniacally as the music pumped itself and the crowd for more of the game.
All of the cheerleaders were surprised with how good the music was. Ron was the mixer of the tape and, as a dork, most didn't believe he had a good play list. Even Bonnie Rockwaller was surprised to discover the 'loser' had done a good job. She even went so far as to congratulate him, sort of.
"You didn't screw up completely this time…" Bonnie had reluctantly stated.
The cheer squad chanted in sync and gained much attention from the bored fans. Not an easy feat to accomplish seeing as how the home team was losing by double digits in the point margin.
Everything got silent as the final song on the tape ended and a strange voice came from the boom box. Ron stiffened as he recognized the speaker. The crowd murmured slightly and then shushed to listen to what was being said on the tape.
A groggily voice crept into everyone's ears, even the basketball players paused to listen in. The cheerleaders steadied their pom-poms and opened their ears. One man coughed and was instantly shushed.
"Uh… Dear Journal… It's about three in the morning and I can't sleep…" The voice belonged to Ron. Now everyone, especially Kim, was interested in what was being said. Some girls giggled but she shot them fire through her eyes and they silenced.
"…can't stop thinking about what a loser I am. I mean, I always think I have a shot but then he comes along and ruins the moment. And Kim…" Now that she heard her voice, she was at full attention. "…just stares at him all the time. I don't even know why I bother trying… I could get killed tomorrow and I bet people would be asking who I was. Not to mention all those that wouldn't care… I'm just so frustrated… I… I'm just going to quit while I'm ahead… I'll let her be with who she wants… It's not like she'd care even if I did tell her my feelings…"
The tape ended and the stands erupted with laughter. Many yelled and hollered terms meant to humiliate Kim. She stood in a some-what cock-eyed position and let the words sink into her mind. When realization struck her that Ron had said he loved her on tape, she looked around for him but had no luck in finding him. He must have run off sometime during the playback of the tape.
She took off into the halls of the building in hopes of finding him. He was hiding somewhere and didn't want to be found. Kim felt bad for him. She slowly realized she had given him the cold shoulder on countless occasions. She began to worry if he still felt the same way as he had on the tape.
The senior hallway emitted a crashing sound followed by extended scrambling. Kim used her superior speed and gave chase after the dark figure.
The creature, she was now almost sure it was Ron, ducked into the boy's bathroom and shut the door. Kim was able to open it without Ron clicking the lock in time. She pushed it open as he tried keeping it shut. The blonde-haired boy ran into a corner as the lights were flipped on. Kim stared in awe at the boy with tears in his eyes that never came out.
"Ron?" she asked.
The boy remained silent. He looked quite angry and didn't seem very friendly at this time. He stood his ground and tilted his head slightly to the floor. He looked at Kim with a frown and dark eyes.
"Ron?" Kim questioned again. "What's wrong?"
Ron looked up and blinked. He scoffed angrily before speaking. "You know darn well what's wrong."
Kim blushed slightly and looked to the floor. She was ashamed of the way she had cornered her friend like he was an animal. She smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry… Listen, I know how you feel about me… About us…"
Ron clenched his fists. "You know how I feel about you? Do you really?" His voice rose as his anger flashed through his eyes. "No, Kim… You don't…"
Kim's eyes watered, she was astounded at how angry her friend was acting. "Ron, I just-."
"You just what?" Ron snapped. Kim remained silent and tears welled to the point of bursting. "Thought so… Why did you follow me?"
"I heard what you said on the tape…" Kim said, her tears flowed freely now.
Ron was in no mood for her crying. "'I heard what you said on the tape…'" he mimicked his friend rudely. "You can hear the words, did you catch the tone?" He was, of course, referring to the words on the tape.
Kim sobbed silently. Tears flowed down her cheeks and she was unable to speak. The hurt she was feeling at that precise moment in time is indescribable. She covered her mouth with a shaking hand and shook her head.
"Well I was not depressed about what I was saying, I was angry." He wiped his eyes swiftly while Kim continued to stand in awe. "I hate it, Kim! You and me, we've been friends since before I could count and you still look past me! All you see is Manke! Smart, athletic, handsome, Manke!"
Kim stayed silent for the longest time. "I… I came down here to see if that was really how you felt… about me, that is… I guess I see you don't…" She turned sharply and was about to leave when Ron spoke.
"I do. I just hate how you can't see that. I hate how no matter how I feel, you only focus on Josh. How the only time you two were together was on that date with your embarrassment issue. God, even then, I was right there with you… I just wish you understood." Ron concluded.
Kim paused with her hand on the door. She took what he said into consideration. She could really read his words. He did care for her. She had just never realized it. However, the signs were always there.
"Ron?" she asked, walking back to sit beside him.
Ron paused her in mid-step. He waved her away without even looking up. He sat on the floor against the wall and looked away from her.
"Go…" he said plainly. "You don't deserve this. They're waiting for you back at the game…"
Kim bit her bottom lip, her tears were returning. "But, Ron… I know how you feel-."
"No, you don't…" Ron crossed his arms over his knees and lay his head sideways on them, away from Kim. "I had to tell you why you should love me… If you don't come up with it on your own, then you don't truly love me…"
Kim shook her head and mouthed the word 'no.' The tears came silently again and she had to wipe her eyes rapidly. "But…"
Ron shook his head from his position. Kim was amazed to see that the boy had still not cried. Even as far back as she could remember, the only time she had seen Ron cry was last year when Rufus died. That was it. He had never cried in front of her before that.
Kim understood and walked away again for a final time. She paused in the open doorway and looked back to the boy. "Aren't you coming? The squad still needs Mad Dog…" She had begun to cry openly again as she stared at the blonde boy who was now almost a man.
He simply shuffled his feet and said, "No, Kim… I'll just hang here for a while…" His voice was as smooth as silk and Kim found herself disappointed that the boy was not crying.
She swallowed once more and prepared for the second half of the game by saying a final good-bye to her friend. She rushed through the hallway and wiped her eyes clean of tears just before entering the gym. She looked back into the darkness of the hallway in hopes of seeing Ron. Her hopes were denied and she stepped gracefully into the cheer line and began following the practiced movements. She kept telling her friend's that everything was alright but had to smile wide or else she'd start to cry again.
Ron lifted his head and looked at his tear stained pants, Kim's eyes were too distracted to notice them. He sniffled and looked to where Kim had just left. He hated himself for being so secretive before. If he had just told Kim how he felt the night after she had had her date with Manke, none of this would be a problem. In fact, that had been the night he had taped his journal entry.
He stood and brushed himself off. The floor was filthy and he felt dirty. He wiped his face off and walked to the mirror. His eyes were red and there were irritated skin marks outside of his eyes from where he had rubbed them too hard. He blinked a few times and took a long, calming breath.
"Why didn't you follow her?" he asked his reflection. A tear dropped and the sight made him angry. "Why didn't you follow her!" he shouted at himself in the mirror. Again there was silence and he sank to the floor.
He breathed deeply in shuddering breaths. He was cold but made no attempt to warm himself. He bit his bottom lip to stifle another tear but the action was futile as the tear came anyway. He let everything go and wept for all he was worth. He pounded his fists into the floor until they were raw and numb. He pulled his hair slightly before resting in a sitting position against the wall again.
"A high school romance means nothing…" he quoted his father saying to a younger version of himself. "Hormones just reach their peak and suddenly you find yourself feeling lonely… But you're never really alone unless you choose to be… Love comes with experience… Experience that no high school student has…"
He rolled his head and sniffed back a tear. He hated that speech. His dad would always give it too him whenever he would complain about how he wanted to take Kim to a school dance but she was already going with someone else.
"Well, Dad, I can never get experience because I can't even get a date for anything!" Ron shouted again to himself before breaking into another crying fit. He hated himself for looking so pathetic over a girl he loved. He hated how manipulative she was to him. All he had in life was her and she had everything. He probably meant nothing to her but she meant everything to him.
That was when Ron stopped crying. He wiped his eyes and stood, clenching his fists the whole time. He strolled out of the bathroom and marched to the gym where a loud cheer from the home section roared in his ears. He saw Kim sitting on the sideline while the rest of the squad cheered for the home team. The stands grew quiet when he entered the gym.
A few murmurs echoed through the stands and the ball dribbled for one beat and then stopped. Everyone was staring at him. Self consciousness was all Ron was experiencing. He couldn't believe he was the center of attention for once in his life. It felt nice, but he knew it was for the wrong reason.
Kim kept her eyes to the floor. She knew Ron had just entered the gym but didn't want to face him. She kept her stare at the lace of her shoe and would continuously until directed by another to look up.
Ron watched Kim the whole way. He swallowed hard as he reached a hand into his pocket and took the center of the gym. He rose his free hand to signal for attention.
"Kim!" Monique whispered fiercely into Kim's ear from the seat behind her. "Kim! Look at Ron! I think he has something to say to you!"
Kim was reluctant for a moment but then she glanced to the blonde boy in the center of the room. He looked so tired, so incredibly drained. She was slightly worried for him, but then she remembered their conversation in the bathroom.
Ron looked at Kim and then back to the crowd with a hand still in his pocket. He cleared his throat and said in a grave tone loud enough for everyone to hear: "I'd like to thank you for your attention…"
Kim swallowed a knot in her throat. She wanted so badly to apologize to her friend for her earlier words. She hadn't meant any of them and just wanted him to hold her hand and tell her everything was alright between them. She didn't want to be with him, but she didn't want to be without him.
Ron looked to Kim but didn't smile. He tried but just couldn't. "I want to apologize to my best friend Kim for what I said to her. I do love you but don't want you to change your life because I know you don't feel the same way. I want everyone who has ever laughed at me or made a jab at me to know that most of my problems were caused by you!"
The intensity of his last line made the silence sink in. People started to look at themselves and wonder if they were to blame for the way that Ron was. A few people looked at each other and knew that they were guilty for the way Ron felt about them and his own life.
Ron continued. "I just wanted a regular life! I just wanted to be somewhat accepted when I wasn't around the famous and well sponsored Kim Possible! Not a single soul in this room kept themselves from laughing at my confession on my tape! Not a single person in this room cared enough for my feelings to hold their tongue!"
The crowd before him swallowed every word Ron said. Many of them were shocked that Ron was standing up for himself like he was. No one ever expected a rebuttal from the blonde boy. Maybe that was why they all laughed at him. The tape was recorded at a private moment of the blonde boy's life, but the crowd chuckled as though it was purposely broadcasted for their entertainment.
Kim cried silently while staring at her once best friend. She wanted to stand and run into his arms, however, she remained in her spot and just stared at the teenager. She felt as though Ron wouldn't take her now. She wanted to wait for a few moments to see if Ron wanted to continue talking.
Ron fulfilled Kim's thoughts when he continued his speech. "I didn't want that tape to be heard. I know if any of you were in my position you'd have already destroyed it. I hate you all!" His voice began to rise and break as tears made their way to the surface of his eyes.
Every one in the stands and on the court began to murmur and began to lose their attention in Ron but still were keeping the subject alive. They didn't want to see the boy cry. Most of them had figured they'd done enough while others were still disregarding Ron's feelings. However, a small group in the stands experienced and immense amount of compassion for Ron. They looked on intently and their eyes watered when Ron's voice had cracked.
Ron's voice cracked again as he looked out to his audience. "I hope you all can live with yourselves after you realize what you have done this night!"
Kim couldn't stand it. Ron was alone and helpless in front of the large crowd. She just wanted to be with Ron. What she said earlier to him could be taken back. She wasn't sure of her love for him at first but now all she wanted to do was tell him how everything was going to be alright.
The crowd began to get back to their normal rowdy behavior and the players began to get ready for the continuation of their game even though Ron was still standing at center court. Even the fans Ron had gained with his speech began to get ready for more basketball.
Kim felt horrible for Ron and made up her mind once and for all that now was as good a time as any to run over and embrace Ron. She stood from her seat and took a small step toward him.
Ron had grown angry with the crowd. Even though tears were coming from his eyes and his voice was creaky, he shouted to the stands and everyone who had stopped paying attention to him.
"I want you all to look at me! I want you all to see what you've done to me tonight!"
Many of the spectators looked to Ron's position as he made his move. Kim stepped closer to the boy but was still to far to be seen by the crying blonde.
"I want every one of you fuckers to look at me and see what you've done!" Ron shouted. The crowd gasped and all turned to Ron when they heard his curse word. Kim was shocked and held her mouth. She stopped in mid-step and stared at the boy she once knew.
"Watch me closely! I'm only going to do this once!" Shouted Ron through his tears.
Everything was silent as Ron pulled his hand from his pocket. A metallic instrument came with it and he held it against his right temple. A crowd member screamed as Ron squinted and his tears flooded his eyes.
"Ron!" Kim screamed as the gun fired. The blonde teenager fell to the floor with his gun still in hand. Most of the crowd cried out in astonishment and shock while others remained hopelessly silent. A puddle of thick, red liquid pooled around the teen's body as he lay with a tear trickling down his nose.
His expression was relaxed. One might think he was sleeping if not for the blood soaking into his clothes and spreading on the floor. His Mad Dog uniform ruined all but the mask.
"Call 911!" screamed a woman spectator.
Kim stood in the same half step pause she had been in since Ron's curse word. She couldn't believe her friend just shot himself. A movement was made and the crowd began to rapidly disperse in panic. She remained, staring at the growing red puddle.
"Ron…" she whispered.
An ambulance arrived and announced Ron DOA, dead on arrival. Kim stood behind them and watched as a police squad began to investigate by interrogating a few of the spectators. Standing awestruck, she began to cry and eventually collapsed from shock. The last she saw was her friend being examined by Middleton's Sheriff as she was taken care of by a nurse. The rest was black.
Ron's funeral filled most of the cemetery. Kim stood in the front row and wore a long black dress with lacing the covered her ankles and held a handkerchief. She cried silently while the rabbi spoke a prayer to bless Ron's immortal soul.
The crowd behind Kim had all attended the basketball game. Even players and spectators from the visiting team were there. Ron finally had the crowd he'd always wanted to respect him. However, he wasn't there to enjoy it.
The mass of people eventually filed out of the graveyard and soon only Kim and Ron's parents were there to give a final good-bye.
"Son…" Mr. Stoppable said slowly. "I… I never thought I'd see the day I said good-bye to you for good…" He couldn't say anymore. He placed a hand on his son's coffin and nodded his head. He never wanted to say the final good-bye to his son, so he didn't.
Mrs. Stoppable was next. "Ronald, I've never seen you're father cry… I never thought I would but this… this has made an impact on a lot more people than you thought it ever would…" She knelt beside the casket and kissed its lid. "Why'd you do it, Ron? What made you so upset? So angry?" She sobbed while her question went unanswered. Finally, she stood and a tear fell to the top of the coffin. She stared for a long time at the name on the gravestone before her face contorted with sadness and she left to be with her husband in mourning.
Kim stood back for a short time after the Stoppables had left. She walked over to the casket slowly and sat down in the dirt next to it. She didn't say anything for a long time. She just stared at the box containing her friend and tried denying that Ron was really in there.
A silent tear fell and Kim wiped her face with her hand. Her voice came tearfully as she leaned closer to the coffin. "Ron?" she trailed, her face messing up with the inevitable tears knocking on the door behind her eyes. "Ron? Can you hear me?"
The silence that followed afterward told her the truth. Her friend was really gone. He had committed suicide in front of the audience at the previous basketball game.
The realization hit her hard as she scrambled on her knees and leaned on the casket, crying the hardest she had since her childhood. She bawled against the coffin containing her best friend. Hours passed and soon it was dark but the tears continued into early hours of the morning.
"Kim? Why are you crying?" a twelve year old blonde boy asked his best friend.
Kim was leaning against her backyard picnic table. She looked up from her place on the ground and frowned to the boy before crying again.
"Bonnie Rockwaller said she'd come over and have a tea party with me!" Kim sobbed. "But she only came by and took pictures of me sitting here and waiting for her! She said she's going to use them at school and then I'll be the laughing stock of everyone!"
Ron came over and sat down in Bonnie's unused seat. He poured Kim and himself a glass of tea and took a sip from his. "Calm down, KP." he said in a calming voice. "Let me take care of it. For now, just have a glass of tea…"
Kim was slightly reluctant at first but sat down across from her friend. Something about Ron's smile made her feel good enough for anything that Bonnie had planned for her.
The next day at school, Kim saw people laughing and joking about pictures that Bonnie had shown them.
"…I have never seen anything as ridiculous as…" a girl said as Kim was walking by.
"…Man, at that age? I'd be so embarrassed…" said a jock as Kim passed by.
She began to grow aware of herself and angry at Ron. He had told her that he'd take care of it. He had lied to her and now she was the laughing stock of the whole school. She couldn't wait to get her hands on him.
Bonnie approached her in the hallway with a smile so wicked that one would be frightened even if they knew she was a twelve year old. She held a hand back to halt the group of friends that were following her and snickering quietly.
Kim looked to the ground and Bonnie whispered in her ear, "You've got a great friend…"
She looked back to make sure none of her friends was spying on the private conversation. Kim was confused. What friend was Bonnie talking about? Furthermore, why was Bonnie being so nice?
When Bonnie was sure they were safe to continue, she whispered again into Kim's ear. "I have never seen anyone so willing to keep someone else from embarrassment. You should keep him close…"
Kim was confused still but Bonnie again continued to whisper, "I think he likes you or something… That's my only explanation for him doing what he did… But keep it quiet. I don't want anyone knowing I was nice to you…"
Kim was terribly confused still but let it go as Bonnie stepped back and shouted, "Make sure you make it to cheer practice tonight, loser!"
The group of followers kept close behind Bonnie as she walked away from Kim. The red-head had never been more confused in her short life.
Her question was about to be answered. Ron walked toward her down the hallway and someone spotted him. Humiliation Nation was a vacation compared to where the students at the school had put Ron.
"Hey, everybody, look!" a geeky boy called from his locker, "It's Ron Stoppable! The boy with the Pink underwear!"
An uproar of laughter filled the hallway as Kim stared at the boy with the reddening face. She was still confused and saw a nearby girl looking through a few pictures given to her by the passing Bonnie. She walked over and snatched them from the girl's hands and quickly shuffled through them.
"Hey!" the girl whined. "Those are mine!"
Kim stared in awe at the pictures. Ron stood stark naked all except for a pair of bright pink underwear. His face was as red in the picture as it was now. Kim understood what Bonnie had meant by 'good friend.'
She ran up to Ron and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you…" she whispered into his ear and left him with that.
Ron simply nodded at her and headed for his next class.
Kim woke in the cemetery at dawn and watched the sun rise over the lower half of the coffin. She licked her dry lips and looked to Ron's burial place for a final time.
"I did love you, even when I thought I wasn't ready to… If I had remembered that time when we were kids sooner, you might still be here…" Kim said. She kissed the casket as Ron's mother had and walked away from the gravesite.
It was silent the next day of school. Shock, horror, sadness, uncleanness, grief, regret, longing, wondering, revelation, hope. All emotions played a part in the quiet school that day.
The memory of Ron dissipated and left the high school with only memory of that night. Again, Ron was only recognized next to something else, not alone. The normal life he wanted to live ultimately caused his death. Irony always had a way of finding Ron. Even at the most impossible times.
THE END