Hellsing: Suffering from writer´s block

Rated: Fiction T for swearing, English Humor Pairing: Alucard/OC(Writer) Not, what you think, guys. ^^ Disclaimer: Awe, I love disclaimers! Hellsing is not mine, money is not mine, questions? Let us go on with the show, sorry for any mistakes, lousy grammar and stuff, no flames, please. Sorry for OOCness! ^^

Summery: A certain fanfiction writer has writers block, what will she do? And than she has a visitor and all is even worse, will she survive? Read and find out. A story with a twist, because I need more training! ;)

Imagine a small bedroom, a bed and a female fanfiction writer, named Ninja.

It was late in the evening. There, she sat in her bed and tried to write down the story, which came into her mind properly, but it did not work. Why does it not work? She thought. She had the idea of all ideas, Alucard was a human vampire hunter and Integra was an old English vampire, the No Live Queen and he should seal and tame her, and now she just could not write the damn thing down. She sighed and laid her book and pen away. Maybe listening to some music will bring her muse back.

But suddenly the room went cold and dark, a certain red clad vampire appeared next to her bed. "Good evening, Ninja." He purred. "Why do you not write down your next story?" "I have a writer´s block." She answered unimpressed of the large, red figure quite next to her bed. "To bad" He remarked, smirking. "But you had no problem to describe me so weak in your last story, uh? Do I really look like falling asleep just because of some drops of absynth, or behaving like an idiot, just because of a bit laudanum?" He taunted her. "It was just fanfiction, a bit fun, you know?" She retorted sharply, she knew, he could not harm her.

"No, it was no fun!" He hissed, but than he grinned. "I have just hoped, you would make a better job this time. Putting me in the role of the vampire hunter does not sound so bad at all, even though it means, I would be human this time."

"Thank you." She said flattered. "You can be really nice, if you want to, you know?" She looked at him, grinning smugly. He grinned back, showing his sharp teeth. "Well, do not get used to it." He teased. "But were exactly lies your problem?"

"It is your character." She answered frustrated. "You are a human in the story, right, but it does not mean, that you do not miss your usual charm. And you should not be to much like Abraham!" She sighed again, heavily. "The Abraham in the other stories, you like so much, right?" His grin grew wider. "Right." She said, disappointed with herself. "I mean, you catch Integra, you seal her and put her into a cellar or dungeon, but than you try to persuade her instead of torture. But no matter, what I try to write, it sound to much like the other stories." "Uhh, sounds like fun." He remarked amused. "I would not mind some torture and stuff." He rubbed his chin and looked a bit like daydreaming.

"But that happens to you in the other stories!" She shouted and sounded even more frustrated, because his remark was not helpful at all. "I want something new, something unique for you and Integra!" Ninja almost cried, telling him her master plan. "That is so nice of you, why do you not ask your readers for some ideas?" He suggested. "Good idea." She answered happy about a possible solution for her problem. "I hope, someone will help me soon and inspire me, so my writer´s block will have an end at least, I hate unfinished stories!" "Agree to that, it is no fun to just hang in the middle of the action." He smirked, winking. "But now, would you mind leaving me alone? I have to write down our little conversation and I need some little peace now."

She told him in the most friendly way. "Sure!" He said and vanished. "Pew." She whispered after a while, very softly. "I can call myself lucky, if he does not find out, what I have planned for him in my new story." Than she stood up and left her bedroom, because her computer was in her living room and she needed it to write all down.

So, please read and rewiev and fell free to make suggestions, how it could continue. Will Ninja solve her problem? And how? Please be nice, English is not my mother language and this might be the only English story of me. You can imagine the reason, now. ^^ ;)

Awe, one review, this lets me hope for more and at least, this lets me continue this stuff. ^^ :D If only I knew, how to add a new chapter! Well, does not matter, on with the show, from here on, than.

Hellsing is not mine and if it would be, Alcuard and Integra would be Vampires and gruesome rulers to the world. You all know, that would be epic! XD *Evil crack*

An evening later we find our Ninja again, trying to write her good idea down and again failing desperately.

At least she gave up. "I can not write it down! Even for the sake of my life!" She muttered loudly. "Damned writer´s block!" She cursed in an angry tone. "Why can it not just come to me, like in Laudanum and Laudanum II?!" She asked herself, remembering the writing of the two stories and dreaming about it. Man it was so good, when all the scenes came into her mind and went down from her thoughts to her hands, so all she needed to do, was write all down. Was it really over?

Hopefully not, our fan fiction author thought, her live was boring and lousy enough and she really needed something to bright it all up. "Well, if I can not write down my awesome idea, I will continue to type Laudanum II on a word document. I am so glad, that I could at least finish it with some proper ending as well, before the lousy writer´s block hit me." She muttered to herself, leaving her bedroom and entering the living room.

Imagine a small living room as well, a small couch, table, some cubboards with books and a small tv. But the most important part is a small desk with a computer next to it, a screen on it, the keyboard and mouse below the screen, because the desk is so small and it has to carry a small, handwritten book as well, Laudanum II was in it, ready to be typed down. So this is, what our Ninja did, after switching her router and pc on, she sat in an old office chair before her desk and wrote down one of her most precious stories.

Only the best for the public, she thought, I hope, they will enjoy reading it one day, as much as I enjoyed it to write the story. She sat there, quietly typing for a while, when the room went cooler and darker suddenly again. She managed to minimize her story just in time, as a certain, red clad and huge vampire appeared. "Evening, Ninja, well, did my suggestion help?" He asked in a playfull manner, his dark voice was purring.

"Yes, it helped, I had one review with a suggestion for my story." She answered proudly. "And it was even one of my favorite authors!" Ninja added cheerfully. "But you still can not continue." He said, playing to be disappointed. "No, the suggestion was about Integra, but I have my idea for her already. For this story. So the problem is still you and your character. She will use my idea for an own story and I really hope, that will solve my problem." She declared.

"Awe, such a delicate situation. Was it one of your grand three?" He purred, mocking her.

"No, it was a young writer I have added to my favorites because of her story scrap." Ninja answered flatly.

"Ahh, this one, I should pay her a visit next." He said smugly with a sly grin.

"So that means, you will go now?" Ninja asked hopefully, because she really wanted to type more of her story down. but the vampire did not move, instead he sneaked behind her chair and looked on the screen, to find out, what she was working on. "No, I have time." He answered, teasing. "What are you doing here?"

"I am searching for some inspiration, I will try and watch some stuff on youtube, maybe that will cure my writer´s block." She anwered and was happy about her habbit of always leaving a window to the interned open and minimized. So she resized it and google appeared on the screen. "I see." He told her, not very convinced, about her story. "I am hungy." She said as calm as possibleand tryed to stretch and stand up, but he held her down. "You know, there is a better cure for writer´s block?" He told her in a most seductive way.

"And you know, that this would not work. Fanfiction authors are imune to vampire bites!" She said with some triumph in her voice. "One story does not make you a fanfiction author." He continued, teasing her and his head was suddenly next to her ear. She tried to push him away, but it was like pushing a stone wall. "I do not want your sharp teeth so close to my head!" She shouted. He grinned wild and wicked. "What do you all just have with my teeth.." He declared, again playing the disappointed. "They are sharp and they bite!" She answered frustrated. "Besides that, I have written more than one story!" "But this was the first, you have published. I bother, that it will count." He told her showing his teeth, which grew lonnger.

"You know, it counts!" She muttered unimpressed by the behavior. He was still grinning, but he knew, it was true. "So can I get up and get some food , please?2 She asked nicely, again with some triumph in her voice. "Do, as you please. " He gave back, a bit frustrated, because he could not at least scare her. He moved away from her, a bit and she stood up and went into her kitchen. "It is getting boring here, I will better leave now." He shouted after her.

"Okay, you are always welcome to visit me later." Her voice was faint, but enough for his ears and than he vanished, not without touching the screen for a small moment.

Ninja came back, with a cup of soup, some moments later and she was glad, now she cold continue her typing. But as she resized the word document, all was deleted. "That bloody bastard..!" She grumbled and than she started again. The handwritten script was still intact, at least one thing he was not able to destroy.

So how it will go on? Will Ninja ever write her story down? Read and find out. And review, please! Because this needs your suggestion. ;) :D