The Adventures of the Clavats and Selkies and Stuff
Chapter 1 : It Is Time!
It was time.
The pale rays of the early sun began to glow over the distant horizon, the dark sea reflecting its golden light. Birds began to chirp, and the cows lowed and began their daily routine of biting the grass short. The sun rose higher, little by little, shining its life-giving light over the little sleeping village.
It was time.
We now look in on mothers and fathers rising now to do their daily work; the fisherman casted out a fresh net, the rancher tended to the cows that needed milking, the blacksmith heated up his forge, and the tailor did whatever tailors do. The young ones were still in bed, only to wake when the first delicious smells of breakfast wreathed them. Among them were the young men and women who were to set out for their first year as a crystal caravan for the small village of Riverki today. We see them now, sleeping so peacefully...except for one who looks like he is in an uncomfortable position and is drooling all over the place...
It was time-
"Oh, SHUT UP!"
Rikana, the tailor's daughter, hurled a pretty colored rock from her rock collection on her bedside table at the ceiling, a futile attempt to hurt the narrator in any way. Grumpily, she yanked the covers over her head, trying to get back to sleep.
-Well, excuuse me, Mrs. Grumpypants, but I am just trying to narrate the story here! (this is the narrator speaking here; people in this fanfic hear this as thoughts)
"Could ya narrate silently or something?? I am trying to sleep!" Rikana growled venomously from under her sheets.
-I am sorry, that is impossible. Oh, and did you know, IT WAS TIME FOR YOU TO START YOUR ADVENTURE??
Rikana's bedsheets came flying off and sunlight blasted through her window full into her face. Cursing, she promptly rolled off the bed.
Thump!
"Rikana! Are you fighting with the narrator again?" Rikana's mother, Noo Mee yelled from downstairs. "Why don't you come downstairs for breakfast? You will be leaving soon!"
Rikana sighed explosively. "Yes, Mother!" She slowly stood up stiffly and stretched, the smell of some meat cooking in her nostrils. Taking a sturdy wooden comb, she combed her long, shaggy-looking silver hair that would remind you of wolf fur by the way it stuck out here and there. Taking a thick hair-tie, she tied it where it met her lower back, and below the tie the hair curled out and up, like a little silver tail. Adjusting her bangs in the little mirror on her wall, she then proceeded down the stairs for breakfast.
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"Wake up, big brother, wake up!"
Silvon, the blacksmith's son, slowly opened his eyes to see his little sister, Momo Phiy perched on his chest, peering down into his face, her tiny hands tugging gently at his silver bangs. "Wake up, Silvon, you gotta eat breakfast before you go!" Smiling, he picked her up and held her high above his head.
"You little rascal, I oughta toss you outta my room!" He growled playfully at her. Momo squealed and wriggled in his grasp. "No toss me!! Lemme down!!" She was wriggling so violently that she almost slipped free and fell on Silvon's face. He managed to catch her in time, and set her down gently on the floor next to his bed. "Watch it! You almost broke my face there!" Momo laughed at this, and danced away, chanting, "I broked Silvon's face, I broked Silvon's face!" Chuckling, Silvon reached for his red bandanna on his bedpost, and, with the help of a old mirror, tied the bandanna over his thick, silver hair and adjusted his hair here and there. Satisfied that he was now worthy of looking at-
"Hey! Are you trying to call me ugly?"
-I am not trying, I am just telling how it is!
"...You're calling me ugly, aren't ya? Hey!! Don't you dare leav-"
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"Honey, it's morning...Serina?"
Harmia looked around the door to her oldest daughter's room to see that the bed was vacant and there was no sign of her in there. Sighing, she closed the door and walked out to where her daughter's favorite relaxing place was; leaning on the fence penning in their cows. She found her daughter there, deep in thought.
Serina started slightly as her mother came up next to her, as silent and undetected as a ghost. If Serina was not used to this habit of her mother's, she would probably have whipped out her sword and attacked her. She is spontaneously violent like that.
"Mother! Please, don't do that anymore! I might accidently attack you for no apparent reason one day!" Serina exclaimed as her mother joined her on leaning on the rickety old fence. It's a good thing they were not fat or the fence would have gave in and and they would have splinters and stuff. Harmia sighed and examined the fence, silently agreeing with the narrator. It's a wonder these little dried up twigs of a fence keep our cows in. Heck, it wouldn't take much for an adventure-seeking cow to break free... She thought, already having to dig a little splinter out of her middle finger. She turned to Serina, while still digging out the splinter.
"Serina, come inside. We've go-"
"MOTHER!!! ARE YOU FLIPPING ME OFF??" Harmia jumped with shock from Serina's shout, and looked down to see that, indeed, she was flipping Serina off, but not intentionally, of course. Whatta horrible mother-
"Hey!!! You wanna go, narrator!? Come on, just you and me!!" Harmia rounded on the narrator who was having fun making them do stupid stuff and stuff. Oh, she was still digging the splinter out, so now she was flipping the narrator off.
-I'm sorry, Harmia, but I can't let that go unpunished.
"Wha-" Harmia began to protest, but is cut off by a loud, agonished moo from one of the fattest cows. She and Serina exchanged exhausted looks, then walked over to the cow. Apparently, the narrator struck the cow with something that made it constipated.
"What the- not again!!" Serina's father, Belgano shook his head in disgust; he had run out to see why the cow was mooing like so, and found that his wife had tried to pick a fight with the narrator again, so the narrator responded by constipating the fattest and stinkiest cow...again. He turned to Harmia. "Why can't you just leave the narrator alone? You must have figured out by now you will never win against it!"
Harmia scowled defiantly. "Ohhh, that horrible narrator! That's it, I am not gonna do as it says anymore!!" Here Harmia went back over to the fence and slumped on it. Because the fence was so old, the sudden descent of weight on it broke it like a twig, and Harmia went down in a cloud of dust and splinters.
-Ohh, I am the narrator here!! What I say goes, and you will go with everything I say!
Harmia found that she no longer had control over her body. Robot-like, she stood up, and walked like a retarded toy soldier back into the house. "CURSE YOU NARRATOR!! CURSE YOU!! I WILL FIND A WAY TO GET BACK AT YOU!!" Harmia was yelling the entire way. "Oh, and Serina, darling, there is breakfast on the table. Eat up now!" Serina and Belgano just stood there and stared stupidly.
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The final caravan person, a young Clavat lad named Garnos, was the one mentioned earlier that was sleeping in the most uncomfortable position and a trickled of drool ran steadily out of his mouth, adding to the little puddle on the ground. He was perched dangerously on the edge of his bed, his head dangling down, one foot up against the wall, his arms widespread. He snored loudly, so loudly he did not hear his parents calling from downstais. However, his wake-up call came eventually, in the form of a little blonde girl...
"Wakey wakey, Garny!!"
All Garnos could remember was in his dream he was fighting this large yellow monster that was armed with clubs, and the monster had struck him with the force of a runaway horse in his stomach with one of its clubs. His red-brown eyes shot wide open to see his little sister Paulie had jumped on his exposed stomach. She was kneeling on it now, grinning evilly at him. She suddenly jumped off of him, as he began to slide a bit off the bed.
Bump!
Garnos landed on his head next to the drool puddle. Paulie danced around him, singing, "Get uppy, Garny! Get uppy, Garny! It's time for you to go!" She laughed crazily as she ran downstairs, easily dodging Garnos' feeble attempt to grab her from his upsidedown position. Completely winded, he rolled painfully onto his side to recover, gasping and glaring in the direction his evil little sister had fled. "I'll get you for that, you little squirt of hellish acid!" He gritted out through clenched teeth. After a considerable time, Garnos recovered enough to stand. Stretching his muscles, cramped from the weird position he had slept in all night, he looked out the window, and froze. To his horror, he saw that Roland, the village elder, was standing out in front of the massive crystal protecting Riverki from the deadly miasma with the group of chosen young individuals that were to leave for myrrh...today!! He was late!!
Cursing darkly under his breath, he quickly pulled on his shirt (he slept with no shirt, because once in a nightmare, he had shredded his last one), stepped into his shoes, and buckled on his belt. He zoomed down the stairs, neatly plucking a roasted fish off his breakfast plate, now somewhat cold, and gobbled it down as he hurried out to Roland.
Roland was deep in conference with the 3, a young man and 2 young women, telling them how to behave and watch out for monster and yadda yadda yadda, all that stuff that is useless 'cuz everyone knows it already...maybe except the 'dont hog the food' or 'attempt to dive off the top of a wagon into a shallow pool' part...Anyways, he was in the middle of that when Garnos came bombing in, smelling of fish.
Boom!
There was a mini explosion in the middle of the group. Didn't I say, 'Garnos came bombing in'? Actually, that kinda makes no sense at all, so lets rewind and try that again...
Rewinding...
Anyways, he was in the middle of that when Garnos came hustling in, elbowing people aside and smelling quite strongly of fish.
"Hey, did I miss anything important?" Garnos panted, breathing his fishy breath all over Roland. Roland turned a rather unhealthy shade of green. The others just stared. Suddenly...
"BELCH!"
Garnos belched loudly and stinkily into Roland's face. As you can probably tell, Roland is not fond of fish, and this just made his stomach react in the best way it could. Roland doubled over and vomited all over the place. Oh man, I'm tellin' you, all over the place. I mean, there was a 16 foot deep pool on the ground of it. It was all over the houses and flooded the river the bridge into Riverki was built over...
"Uh...Narrator?"
-WHAT IS IT NOW, PUNY SUBJECT OF MY HORRIBLE STORY?
The 3 other would-be travelers blinked. Garnos, however, was unabashed by this comment. "The place is not covered in vomit...which is kinda weird, 'cuz you're the narrator, and everything you say should go..."
Plothole!
-WHATEVER! Just, lemme get on with the story!!
Ok, this is taking forever, so lets just fast foward to the part where everyone is leaving, and leave out the lame corny part with the families weeping and stuff.
Fastforwarding...
We see now, the 4 travelers, finally leaving Riverki for myrrh so that their little village may continue to thrive and everyone stay alive and stuff...except for that little girl Paulie...She can go die or something...
Paulie promptly gives the narrator the finger, which her mother Christie quickly hid and she pulled Paulie back into the house before anything bad happened.
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So the adventure of the 2 Clavats and 2 Selkies begins! What dangers, monsters, and obstacles will they encounter? What acts of stupidity and stuff will they commit? I know, to some of you, this chapter seems short, but not as short as some I have seen (good god that last one was only like 3 skinny paragraphs long!)! Please review, then I shall update soon!