Bo-bobo's Epic RPG Adventure
Bo-bobo's Epic RPG Adventure!
By DevilsArcadia777
An epic quest of adventure and romance unlike any other…sort of…but really!
Story
Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Don, a beautiful princess kept his (yes, his. You don't have eye issues. The princess is a dude…sort of…) land in sweet peace and absolute insanity. But one fateful day, the Great Lord of Darkness, Lord Strawberry-poop Softon Pooh XVI, invades the kingdom, plunges it into darkness, and kidnaps the fair (?) Princess Patches! All hope seems lost…until one hero stands to the challenge of saving the kingdom-Sir Bo-bobo the Golden Nose-Hair Knight! For a personal purpose, he sets out to save the kingdom, defeat the evil wizard, and rescue the princess. Together with many other warriors, protected by an ancient spirit's blessing (Well, the spirit was an onion lover, but what's the difference?), and with the guidance of the fairy Dengaku-man, the epic fantasy of a lifetime that's also screwed up a million times over begins!
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure/Humour/Romance
Rating: T
Contains: Fantasy violence, crude and nonsensical humour, language, and some prolonged sexual situations
Disclaimer (Sarcastic Whoo): I don't own Bo7. If I did…
…yeah. In what eon?
HEADNOTES
-Here are some of the characters in this introduction to avoid some confusion:
Dark wizard: Softon
Witch: Yuko (Icen) of the Hair Kingdom
The High Spirits:
-Ignis: Bobopatch
-Aqua: Denbo
-Terra: Incomplete Bobopatch
-Aerealis: Tenbobo (Bo-jiggler)
-Glaciales: Super Denbo
-Fulguralis: Patchbobo
-Obscuri: Kintenbo
-Lucis: The Adult Woman (Yokohama Junko)
-Umbrae: Bobopatchnosuke (Bobopajiggler)
Italicized voice: Narrator
Friend: King Nose Hair
Student: Swimsuit Gal (The one with the ponytail and the purple one piece that was w/Combat Blues)
Introduction
Today, I'm going to tell you a story. It's a legendary story. Well, if you count bizarre and creepy legendary, maybe you might be more interested, but hey. If you don't like reading and are going to wind up as a schlub hooker in the streets with no home and no life because you neglected your reading, that's not my problem. If you at least read some of this, you might be a tad more satisfied.
Anyway, as I was saying, this is a legendary story. No, it's not legendary like one of those crappy urban legends passed from generation from generation that you're forced to listen to at the Thanksgiving dinner table from your withered hairball of a grandfather and all you want at that moment is for some strike of fate to have you beeline for the bathroom to vomit your aunt's mashed turnip. It's more memorable than that because it will drive you crazy. If it doesn't have you laughing or driving you crazy after at least the first chapter, go see your physician. There is clearly something wrong with you.
Okay, enough rambling. Begin the story.
Way, way up high in the sky…
Way beyond the clouds…
Near the very void of space itself…
There is said to be a Heaven where the highest godlike spirits of the stars live.
In the great palace-sanctuary of the Heaven of Gloria, there is said to be an incredibly powerful treasure resting there called the Delphinus Crystal,which has the power to grant any wish in the world and grant eternal power to the one that holds it.
Using this crystal, the nine revered High Spirits, Ignis, Aqua, Terra, Arealis, Glaciales, Fulguralis, Obscuri, Lucis, and Umbrae, watch over our world carefully with eyes of peace and wonder.
Then one day…
"Keh keh keh keh!!"
Oh dear…what the…?
"It's here! We found it, master!"
Wait…who the hell stuck that witch into our story?
"Heh heh heh…excellent job, Yuko!"
Huh!? Who said that!!
"At long last…to finally kidnap the princess of the Kingdom of Don, and to defeat my longtime rival, Sir Bo-bobo…"
A brown swirly poop-headed wizard!? And a female witch!! What do you guys want!!
"I'll take this crystal!!"
NO!!
"Take the High Spirits down, my Witch Yuko!!"
"Yes, master!"
The witch shoots off several bolts of magenta-colored lightning from her magic wand at the spirits. The spirits cry in pain, and for some reason, they are powerless to stop them!
Stop it! Cut it out, you vile demon!!
The dark wizard unleashes a blast of emerald-colored energy on the glass covering the Delphinus Crystal, and takes it in his hands!
"Now let's try this thing out!"
Wait! No, don't!!
"Delphinus Crystal, grant me my wish! Imprison the High Spirits at my own hand!!"
The crystal flashes. It blasts a ring-shaped circle of lilac-colored light. The light envelops around all of the spirits and imprisons them one by one into magical cards. The cards are all filled and encircle the dark wizard.
You jerk! You're changing the story!!
"Hah hah hah hah!! That was a piece of cake! Now nothing can get in our way!! Come, Yuko! Let us begin our mission!"
"Yes, master!! Ho ho ho!!"
The two of them fly away.
Hey, wait-auuugh…not again! I just HATE it when they get the last word!! Now the producer of the Bo-bobo show's gonna get my ass for not doing anything, even though I'm not SUPPOSED to!!
Ah, wait, I'm getting off topic…
Now, spirit children and other mystic beings of that kind rise to the heavens to grant people's wishes…
…but those wishes will not come true.
Whatever can they do…?
Down in the world below, ten days later…
Much adieu from the trouble that occurred about in the far-off Heaven of Gloria, we now switch the scene to the planet that resides below it, the World of Ashura. Yes, this is where our story begins, this world called Ashura, where within it lay a large, peaceful kingdom called the Don Kingdom. Completely oblivious to the trouble that occurred in the sky, the residents of the kingdom go about their daily routine, all leading happy, prosperous lives. Our focus of this tale comes down to the large, bustling Crystal Town of the Crystal Region, the largest town in the kingdom. Near the gate of the city's entrance is a large, ebony gate, finely decorated, that serves as the entrance to a regular one-story house…
The town mailman, Serviceman, was dashing on his roller-skates in a rush to reach the one-story house behind the ebony gate. He tripped several dozen times and wound up flashing his goods like he always had in the Bo-bobo anime and in the manga, and dropping a million letters as well. He finally made it to the gate and opened it, making his way into the front yard of the one-story house. It was a fine house; the front half of the house was painted yellow with a red roof, followed by a blue paint in the back. A sign labeled "Hanage" was nailed above the front door. A set of green-colored pipes were at the side of the house, and a giant oak tree stood on the left side. The mailbox of the house was shaped like a ramen bowl, where Serviceman slipped in the letter he sent, while performing another face plant.
"MAIL CALL!!" Serviceman screamed before struggling/tripping repeatedly upward and rolling off again.
Responding to the call, the door opened up, revealing a giant purple nose hair wearing a pink sweatband stepping out to get the mail. He slipped his hand in the mailbox and pulled out a tan-colored envelope with a golden seal. The odd creature became giddy inside and ran back into the house.
"Sir Bo-bobo! Sir Bo-bobo!!" The giant nose hair yelled.
"WHAAAATTTT? Can't you see that I'm sleeping here!?" Came a groan from another room, revealing that the man that said the groan was actually wrestling a bear and putting on girly cosmetics!
"We just got a letter from Her Highness, Princess Patches!"
"WHAT!?" The man that was wrestling the bear immediately tossed it aside (but was still wearing his cosmetics) and dashed into the neat little kitchen the house had. The kitchen itself was rather small; the small circular wooden table only bore two chairs, a wooden, old-fashioned stove was next to a small boiler chamber, an ivy plant entwined some of the room, a map of the kingdom was on the wall, and several cleaning supplies were near the doormat by the door. The man that dashed in was a big, burly dark-skinned man, bearing a golden afro, sunglasses, a necklace accentuated with a golden "H," wore a navy-blue shirt, a red cape, puffy white pants, and brown combat boots. A holster for his large sword was at his left hip.
"We got a letter from the princess? Why so?" the burly man, who apparently was Sir Bo-bobo, asked.
"How about I read it to you?" the purple nose hair asked. Sir Bo-bobo nodded his head in agreement. The nose hair then removed the golden seal and took out a golden-colored fine piece of paper with squiggly, messy Japanese writing on it.
"Well, this DOES look like her handwriting…okay, let's see…" the nose hair began to read the letter, which said:
My Dearest Sir Bo-bobo and his other friend…uhh…what's-his-name,
I'm holding a party at my castle today! Sir Bo-bobo and the other guy, I would be honoured if you could both attend. Many guests from the other towns and regions are hoping to meet you. There will be a delicious buffet and all kinds of entertainment! The party's today, so come on down, or else YOU'RE SCREWED A MILLION TIMES OVER!!
-Sincerely yours,
Patches
Sir Bo-bobo and his friend looked at each other and smiled. The bear inexplicitly joined in, but he was punched away by Bo-bobo.
Sir Bo-bobo and his friend then walked out the door, opened the gates that lead to their house, and walked into the bustling Crystal Town, the beautiful hub of the Kingdom of Don. Everything was merry and light, as the two walked to the center of town and went north to a giant crystal gate that reflected rainbow patterns whenever the sun struck it. The two KoPatch guards standing at the gate opened it, having the two friends make it to the front courtyard of Princess Patches' beautiful and spacious castle. The twosome went inside to the front lobby of the castle, where it was painted sky blue with clouds and suns all over the place, a ruby red carpet stretching across the black-and-white patterned floor, a set of golden stairs that lead to the second floor, many doors that lead to God-knows-where, and a giant door that lead to the second room of the second floor. A giant crystal chandelier lit up the occasion on the ceiling.
"Welcome to Princess Patches' Castle!" The KoPatch guards sang.
"Wow! This place looks as fabulous as usual. I almost never want to leave here whenever I come!" Sir Bo-bobo's friend said. "I wonder where the princess is."
"Maybe I should go see her." Sir Bo-bobo suggested.
"That's a great idea, Sir Bo-bobo! I think I'll go mingle for now." His friend said. Sir Bo-bobo agreed and began to explore the castle, while his friend went to talk to a particular yellow pickle wearing an elf hat.
"Oh! Sir Bo-bobo!" exclaimed a woman wearing a pink sweater-dress and an apron. Sir Bo-bobo went over to her and her friend, wearing a similar outfit, only her sweater-dress was yellow and her apron was smaller.
"Good afternoon to you, ladies!" said Sir Bo-bobo.
"Why, Sir Bo-bobo, I dare say, that you look absolutely fabulous today!" the lady in the yellow sweater said.
"Why, thank you!"
The lady in the pink sweater giggled. "You know, Sir Bo-bobo, I think that Princess Patches was looking foreword to seeing you since this morning. She's been restless…tee hee hee…"
Sir Bo-bobo let out a small blush. "Oh, ladies, you're being too modest. Say, where can I get the food in this place?"
"The buffet's on the second floor, but you can personally visit the chef in that room over there," the lady on the yellow sweater pointed at a door on the right of the stairway.
"Okay!!"
Sir Bo-bobo went into the golden-painted kitchen and saw the chef of the castle, Chef Combat Bleu. He was causing absolute chaos by using his military weaponry to cook the food. Sir Bo-bobo walked in seeing him kill a chicken with a grenade that nearly blew up the entire kitchen.
"Good Afternoon, Major Minor!"
"GAAAAHHH!! NEVER EVER CALL ME THAT YOU OAF!!" Combat Bleu screamed while kicking a giant sack of flour in the air and gunning it down with a machine gun. The flour sack exploded, making the entire kitchen white.
Bleu's female pupil, wearing a purple skintight suit and a ponytail in her dark bronze hair, was adding ingredients to a cake. She was holding out a cup of sugar.
"Chef Bleu, is this the right quantity-AAAAHHH!!"
Combat Bleu then for no reason started stabbing all of the poultry, one of them being his own student! The girl dropped to the floor, her blood spilling.
"GAAAAHHH!! YOU JUST KILLED YOUR OWN STUDENT!!" Sir Bo-bobo screamed while playing an Arabian flute, trying to make a snake pop out of one of the spice jars. Unfortunately, all he got was an angry car salesman that punched him out.
"Shaddup!" Bleu yelled. He then panicked again because the cake he was baking in the oven exploded!
OKAY, YOU'RE REALLY GETTING ON MY NERVES! HANAGE SHINKEN OGI!!" (Super Fist of the Nose Hair)
Sir Bo-bobo then let out a furious stream of his killer nostril hair on the chef. The kitchen was completely destroyed at this point. The guests within the castle began screaming-except the KoPatch guards, who completely ignored everything!
"Oy…it's a party now, eh, Pickly?" Sir Bo-bobo's friend said to the pickle he was talking to.
"Indeed!"
Sir Bo-bobo walked out of the kitchen, completely unharmed, carrying the corpses of Combat Bleu and his pupil over his shoulders. He then fed them both to the same bear he punched out earlier while everyone else screamed.
"But it really makes me wonder…does Princess Patches really care about this entire kingdom and its people at all?" Sir Bo-bobo's friend said again.
"I dunno…maybe it's because she's mentally svelte?" said the pickle.
Later…
"Sir Bo-bobo! Good day!"
"How do you do, Sir Bo-bobo?"
"I'm your biggest fan!"
"Do perverted koala fairies exist?"
"There's a place called Starlight Hill Summit near the castle…hey, Sir Bo-bobo, do you think…ummm…that you can help me ask the princess to go there?"
"I LIKE EGGS!!"
Sir Bo-bobo was sampling the buffet (and by that I mean pigging out on it, and with no chef of the castle around, everything was nearly gone in several minutes), when the minister of the castle came to him.
"Greetings, Sir Bo-bobo! I am the minister of Princess Patches' Castle." The minister of the castle was a man with long golden hair tied in a ponytail, wore a dark green petticoat, dark blue breeches, and black shoes. Sir Bo-bobo politely shook his hand.
(Note: For those of you that don't know, it's the underboss from Don Patch's gang. Y'know, the man in the white coat wearing the white hat?)
"You know, whenever I see you around, protecting all of us, I feel that our kingdom is secure. Yep, our future looks bright!" the minister exclaimed.
"By the way, minister, did Her Highness make a decision about the use of our latest tax? I hear that you want it spent on a complex train travel system that would lead to an easier entrance into the Zircon Region." said Sir Bo-bobo.
"Ummm…actually…"
The minister drew out a blueprint of what looked like plans to make a statue from his coat pocket. Sir Bo-bobo stared at it.
"Her Highness wanted to spend the tax money on making a giant golden statue of herself…rather blasphemous, but what she says goes…" the minister replied sadly. Sir Bo-bobo said nothing.
"By the way, minister, do you know where the princess went?" Sir Bo-bobo asked again.
"Oh, I believe that Princess Patches went to her private chambers just recently. She appeared to be rather tired from greeting the guests. If you're looking for her, she's in the third floor hall, which is upstairs, one room after the seating hall." said the minister.
"Thank you!" Sir Bo-bobo then ran off up the next set of stairs to the third floor seating hall. The room itself was a small hallway, with the same blue-and-white walls and red carpet. A small set of stairs lead into a section of the room with two plush couches and a pot of lilacs and daffodils placed on a pedestal in between. The only one in the hall was another KoPatch guard.
"Ah, Sir Bo-bobo. Hoping for a private audience with the princess? She's in the next room, in her private chambers. You may proceed." said the guard, as he opened the door.
"Why, thank you sir. You got anything else to say?" asked Sir Bo-bobo.
"She's in the next room in her private chambers. You may proceed." The guard repeated.
"I know! Sir Bo-bobo shouted. Say something else!"
"She's in the next room in her private chambers. You may proceed." The guard said again.
Sir Bo-bobo then became enraged and annoyed. He took a fighting stance. "Say the same thing one more time, and I'll…"
"She's in the next room in her private chambers. You may proceed."
"…"
A tense silence.
"SQUADRON F--ER!!" Sir Bo-bobo screamed. He then whipped out a huge machine gun and shot the guard to oblivion with it for three straight minutes. After the screams of the guards ceased, he was dead, his blood all over the wall.
"Awww…looks like I did it again!" Sir Bo-bobo said like a child and bonked his head in a comedic way with his fist. Another guard that walked by didn't notice the dead guard at all as Sir Bo-bobo proceeded.
Sir Bo-bobo then walked into the third floor hall, a long hallway that had many glass windows on its side that showed spectacular views of the kingdom. Another red carpet adorned the floor, yet the blue on the walls were darker. Sir Bo-bobo slowly walked down the hallway, until he spotted a certain princess in the middle of the hall, standing between a pair of candelabras in front of a much larger glass window. And that's when the mood changed…really…
"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!"
"PRINCESS PATCHES!!"
The princess of the Don Kingdom ran up to Sir Bo-bobo, clad in a tacky, frilly pink dress with red hearts all over it, deep red lipstick, red heels, the crown of the kingdom, and, to top it all off, was a GUY…I think…
This princess is displayed by Don Patch, and considering that he was the world's most ambiguous cross-dresser, it can often be confusing what the hell his gender truly is, but for the sake of the story, he's a guy. And…if you're currently twitching an eye or having haunting visions, I don't blame you. Just don't come to me as an angry mob when you're older, because I'll probably be living it up in Japan, where I'll be filthy stinkin' rich, or dead. But this is what makes this story so great!
"Bo-bobo!! It's, like, been so long!! Like, where the hell have ya been!?" the princess screamed.
"I've been defending this freakin' place with my freakin' sword and my killer nose hairs, man! And I've been doing it all for YOU, you jackass!!" Sir Bo-bobo yelled while punching the princess out!
"Hey hey hey!! WHO'S the ruler of this kingdom here!? Did you not see this crown on my head!!" Princess Patches yelled, pointing at the shiny golden crown that encircled his topmost spike.
"Yeah, well, if you like ruling this kingdom so much, then get off your ass and at least try to help your people!! What do we need some gold statue of you for!!"
"Because, you ingrate…I AM THE MAIN CHARACTER ANYWHERE! NO ONE WILL DEFY ME!!"
An eerie silence.
"But hey, in all, I'm really glad to see you again. I was getting tired greeting all those guests out there. Shall we relax and chat, just the two of us?"
"I WANT PRUNES!!" Sir Bo-bobo screamed while hugging a cactus.
"I'll take that as a yes!" the princess screeched while shooting out one of his guards with a gun that fired dictionaries…and pie...and a jackass…and a certain blue jelly creature…
"It's a lovely day today, so I think that we can sit on the balcony together. Will you accompany me, Sir Bo-bobo?" The princess asked. Sir Bo-bobo nodded his head.
The two of them began walking to the other end of the hall, when suddenly, an earthquake struck!
"WHAT!! I AM THE PRINCESS OF THIS KINGDOM!! WHY THE HELL IS THERE AN EARTHQUAKE!? I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!! I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!!" Princess Patches then pulled out a nuclear missile and fired it!
The home of the narrator of this story…
Ah, this is sooo nice! A warm lilac bath, herbal tea, a fresh hot pizza…I feel sooo good…who cares if I have no money or friends, and the fact that my grandma just died? It seems that things really-
KABOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
Why me…
Back at the castle…
The earth was roaring and shaking, and trees and foliage began to fall like dominoes. Most of the guests that were in the castle were able to get away, fortunately, but some were not. Also, some that escaped were crushed or injured by nearby collapsing trees. The whole kingdom itself was in chaos. All of the towns and regions of the kingdom were hit by the earthquake.
And it was a good thing that those who escaped were able to escape, because…
…as the earthquake was rumbling, Princess Patches' Castle was being lifted into the sky by another castle!
The fortress-castle that was lifting the castle was made of pure granite and metal, with several depictions of magic circles made from priceless gems encircling the sides. A dragon's head served as its topmost doorway and on the bottom was a circular ring of spikes that plowed the thing from the ground. Four chains with maces at their ends dangled madly in the wind.
But the scariest thing about this castle was…
…it was shaped like the anime depiction of poop…
"KYAAAA!!" Princess Patches screamed. She and Sir Bo-bobo could do nothing but run in circles as the castle went into the sky. Eventually, the castle rose all the way into the entrance of space itself!
When the castle finally reached outer space, it finally stopped rumbling, and Sir Bo-bobo and the princess stopped running. The two of them frantically began panting for breath.
"Princess Patches! Are you alright!?" Sir Bo-bobo shouted. Princess Patches, now freaking out, clung to Sir Bo-bobo's leg, crying hysterically.
"GAAAHHH!! WHERE'S A SHOWER AND AN ACID BATH WHEN YOU NEED ONE!!" the princess screeched, complaining about a microscopic-sized dirt speck on his face. He then noticed immediately that-
"Oh! Sir Bo-bobo! It's still daytime, isn't it? If that's true, then why can I see stars outside!?" Princess Patches exclaimed, pointing out the window. Bo-bobo realized that he was right. The sky was a dark crimson color with a midnight blue overtone hanging over it. Several thousand stars were glittering in the darkness.
"We're near outer space, you dumbass. But what's"
/CRASH!/
Before Sir Bo-bobo could say anything, two figures came flying through the biggest window, shattering it!
One of the figures landed onto the floor on his feet, causing the hall to shake. He flew off part of his black cape and laughed evilly. He appeared to be an evil wizard, and what made him more evil was that he had a brown swirly head.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Long time, no see, Princess Patches!" the evil figure shouted. He suddenly did a double take for no reason and noticed that-
"HUH!? Yuko!? Where the hell did you go!? Yuko!? Yuko!!"
The evil wizard turned around and saw a woman in stereotypical witch's robes with a pointy hat, on the floor with her butt in the air (revealing her star-patterned panties), with swirls in her eyes, for she had hit her head. The evil man slapped his face.
"Uhhh…can we start over, please? Apparently I f-ed up my entrance…"
"Yeah, sure, why not?" Sir Bo-bobo said casually. "Use the power of GameShark, and you're all set!"
"I ALREADY KNEW THAT YOU RETARD!!"
The man then chanted:
"Eleka Nahmen Nahmen a tu a tu Eleka Nahmen,
Eleka Nahmen Nahmen a tu a tu Eleka-
oh, screw this chanting! GAMESHARK POWER, ACTIVATE!!"
The wizard and his witch suddenly disappeared. They then re-entered the same way they originally did, only this time, only the witch landed properly. The wizard was smacked on another window.
"Arrrggghhh…okay, I'm trying this again…GAMESHARK POWER, ACTIVATE!!"
Again, the wizard and witch entered, but somehow, they wound up switching outfits! And the princess resembled a particular muscular man who would grow super angry at antics… (Oh, that's just wrong…)
"ARRRGGHHH!! STUPID GAMESHARK!! THAT'S IT! I'LL TRY WINDOWS MOVIE MAKER!! ACTIVATE!!"
Once the wizard spoke, everything was back to normal, and the wizard and witch crashed through the window, landed properly, and caused the hall to shake.
"Hahahahah! Well, long time, no see, Princess Patches!" the wizard spoke.
"Oh my goodness! It's the evil Wizard of Darkness, Softon XVI! It was YOU that made the castle shake just now, isn't it!? Whatever did you do!?" Princess Patches began to scream like a madman and cry hysterically, demanding answers.
The wizard cringed for a second, then let out an evil laugh.
"You weren't expecting that I'd attack like that in broad daylight, weren't you!? I lifted your castle into the sky! Your castle is now sitting on top of mine!"
"KYAAAH!! YOU MEANY!! I DEMAND THAT YOU PUT THIS CASTLE BACK IN PLACE RIGHT NOW!! BESIDES, I HAVE TO MEET SIR HANPEN AT THE MENTAL INSTITIUTION LATER TODAY!!" Princess Patches ripped off Sir Bo-bobo's afro during her rant.
"Tsk tsk tsk! I'm afraid not, "your majesty." Your castle is now under my control! You shall now obey ME! Me and me alone, you hear!?"
The wizard Softon stepped towards the princess with her screaming bloody murder and cowering in fear, but then Sir Bo-bobo stepped forth in front of him in a protective manner, ready to fight.
"I don't think that anyone will be taking this castle anytime soon, evil wizard." Sir Bo-bobo spoke.
"Sir Bo-bobo!" Patches squealed.
"Hm! Well, if it isn't the legendary Sir Bo-bobo, the Gold Afro'ed, Steel Nose Hair Knight! I had a feeling you'd be here. I feel that you must be pretty confident right now, no?"
"In the name of the Don Kingdom, I will protect the princess and her subjects! Many have fallen before me, and yet I have yet to lose a single fight! If I must fight you, bring it on!"
Softon giggled a bit. "I expected you to say that. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do this time. I have a weapon that will destroy all of you."
"You stupid wizard! You can never defeat Sir Bo-bobo! Why don't you go home and play with your pretty ponies already!?" The princess proceeded to hide behind Sir Bo-bobo's leg.
"Hmm, hmm, true, true, I have indeed heard of Sir Bo-bobo's legendary feats. But this battle is different. For see what I have here…"
The wizard Softon then turned to his back pocket and pulled out a glowing diamond-shaped crystal that changed colors each minute. The glow that came from it was so intense that Princess Patch's eyes exploded, and so did her dress, much to her absolute screeching."
"Wh…what the devil is that!?" Sir Bo-bobo shouted.
"Feast your eyes on this! For this you see here is none other than the legendary Delphinus Crystal, the very object in this galaxy that defies all logic and can grant any desire, including all the power of the world! As long as I have this in my hands, not even you can defeat me, Sir Bo-bobo!" Wizard Softon let out an evil laugh.
"KYAAA, NOOO!! Sir Bo-bobo, even with that crystal in his hands, I command you to stop him!" Princess Patches screeched.
"Fear not, your majesty. I, the great and honorable Sir Bo-bobo, shall be strong and true, as I fearlessly bring this son-of-a-bitch to the depths of He-GAAACK!!"
"Sir Bo-bobo, stop beating around the bush, and-EEEK!"
Much to the princess' horror, he now saw Sir Bo-bobo defeated, bleeding on the floor! The phenomenon that was responsible for this tragedy was none other than…
…a minnow.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BLASPHEMY!? HOW COULD SIR BO-BOBO HAVE FALLEN TO A MINNOW!?"
"I didn't feel like protecting you, so I let this minnow nearly kill me," Sir Bo-bobo said nonchalantly before dropping down again. The princess went to his side, wailing in fright. "Oh, no! Sir Bo-bobo, wake up! Please!"
Wizard Softon let out an evil laugh. "Hahahah! I can see that was unseen, but in either case, Sir Bo-bobo is now out of the picture! Now I can finally fulfill my desire!"
"Congratulations on your starting success, Your Corruptidness! That's why you're the best! Tee hee…" Softon's witch assistant, Yuko, chuckled for her master's success.
"Yes indeed, my dear assistant. As long as I have the Delphinus Crystal with me, no one can stand in my way." The wizard then turned to the princess. "Well, it seems that Sir Bo-bobo is of no use to anyone anymore, that's for sure…" The wizard then rose up the Delphinus Crystal, which emitted an indigo-colored light. In a flash, a bolt of indigo-colored lightning struck Sir Bo-bobo, causing him to turn into a fish, and fly out of the castle!
"NO--!! SIR BO-BOBO--!!" The princess cried in fright as the evil wizard continued laughing. As the princess was having another episode (This time revolving around which snack was cheesier-Jax or Cheese Doodles), the witch Yuko called for two of Softon's guards, and they carried away the princess, not before eating the cheesy snacks he was lamenting over…
And so, Sir Bo-bobo fell helplessly down towards the earth, with nothing stopping him. He was fully unconscious-possibly dead-as he fell beneath the clouds to the world below…
What was to become of him…?
And so it begins…
End of introduction
-Yes, it does seem an awful lot like Paper Mario, which I kind of used as a template…hey, it's my first story here! Cut me some slack!
So ends this introduction of the legendary tale…the story will begin soon, in a short prologue.
Is Sir Bo-bobo alive?
None know…
FOOTNOTES
-The inspiration to make this came from the Chapter 209 splash page (title page) of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo. The title page features the Bo7 cast as a fighting team you'd normally see in an RPG or fairy tale, with Bo-bobo as a swordsman, Softon as an evil wizard, Dengaku-man as a fairy, and Don Patch as the princess. The other character's roles (from that page) will be revealed later on.
-The names of the High Spirits are all Latin words for the elements:
-Ignis-Fire
-Aqua-Water
-Terra-Earth
-Aerealis-Wind
-Glaciales-Ice
-Fulguralis-Lightning or Thunder
-Obscuri-Darkness
-Lucis-Light
-Umbrae-Shadow
And yes, the High Spirits are none other than Bo-bobo's fusions from the original series. The fusions used will be from the Shinsetsu series (with quirks), and this is a Shinsetsu-spanned story, meaning the cast will be the same ages they were during the Shinsetsu era. Elements from both stories will be present. I'm also following more of the manga guidelines over the anime's, due to how long they lasted.
-Yuko, as you may know, is an enemy from the Hair Kingdom, and the only other warrior of Babylon left, like Softon.
-"Gloria" means "Glory" in Greek.
-"Delphinus" means "dolphin," also in Greek.
-Wizard Softon's brief gibberish-esque chant (Before shouting "Gameshark Activate!", a cheat code system) is actually from a song from the musical Wicked, which is the tale of the Wicked Witch of the West.
-And just for justification, a minnow is a microscopic-sized fish.
And lastly…I like Jax better than Cheese Doodles…they're so much cheesier…