OMQ (Oh my quail)

NEW STORY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

As opposed to my uh... "real" One Piece story this one is just here as entertainment for myself and MAYBE Skie and Bibs will enjoy it. Or maybe not (hehehehehehehehehehheheheheheeh)

Anyone who isn't them who likes this needs serious therapeutic help. NOW! We've established that Skie and Bibs need it already...and me...and me...

FISH MOO!

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"ANNIE YOU HOBBIT!" I screamed at my little sister. "GIMME BACK WAR!"

"NO DAD GAVE IT TO ME!"

"HE LENT IT TO YOU HOBBIT! GIVE IT! I WAS LISTENING TO THAT!"

"NOOOO!"

"YOUR DEAD NOW!" I proceeded to chase her down the hall. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU HOBBIT!"

"AH! AH! AH!" She ran down the stairs. I followed after her.

"Uh-oh. F!" I screamed as I slipped on the carpet. I fell forward and tumbled down the stairs. At the last step I crashed my head into the wall thing. "Stars. Ow." I passed out into darkness.

(Ah yes. A typical day at my house)

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I groggily opened my eyes. "Ugh. What happened." I tried to rub my head because I had a HUGE headache. My arm wouldn't move. "What the." I was tied up. I looked around. "Uh. I think I am dead. Ok annoying. I CAN'T DIE! MY MANGAS HAVEN'T ALL FINISHED YET!" I wiggled trying to escape the ropes. "Where the hell am I anyway. Was I wrong about the afterlife? Ok this is weird. LEMME FREE!"

"Someone woke up." A voice said from behind me. I tried to turn around but couldn't.

"LET ME GO!"

"Luffy come here. He's awake." Inside my mind a time bomb went off.

Luffy. Like One Piece Luffy. Like gum gum beats up people Luffy. Like eats meat Luffy. Like King of Pirates Luffy. I do not remember having any drugs ever. What the hell is going on. I must be asleep. Hehehehehe if I know I'm dreaming I could have a lucid dream. I could do anything. Ok now that I know I'm dreaming lets start by killing the ropes. ROPES BEGONE! I looked down. The ropes were still there. "A'hem. ROPES BEGONE!" They stayed there. I made my little angry glare. "Yeah ok this lucid dream is broken."

"What are you talking about dream?" the voice said again.

"What the hell does lucid mean?" another voice said. A young boy in blue shorts and a red vest thing and a straw hat jumped down and landed in front of him. "C'mon what does lucid mean?"

"OH THANK GOD! I thought you were gonna sound like you do in the dub. Phew. Dodged a bullet there. That would've made this dream suck."

Nami walked down to where he was. "Why do you keep saying your dreaming?"

"Huh. Oh duh. Because this wouldn't make sense otherwise. I'm tied up on the Going Merry. I've got Luffy staring me in the face. You're here too Nami. I bet Zoro's asleep somewhere, Pipo (gonna call him that too here) is probably making some weird contraption, Sanji's gonna be cooking food, Choppers gonna be sitting reading or something, Robin's gonna be reading too, Franky will be...I have no idea and same goes for Paulee if he's here too."

"How did you know all about us?" Nami asked. "Except who's Chopper or Robin or whoever else you said."

"Ah I see. You guys haven't gotten there yet. So where are you in the story huh?"

"Your weird. Go away." Luffy said. I obviously confused his tiny mind.

"You tied me up. I am not going anywhere."

"Uh. Ok. I'll untie you then you'll go away."

"We appear to be at sea. I think I'll stay thank you." I said, my voice oozing with sarcasm.

Luffy untied me. "Ok then. Hmm. I wonder. Can I do it here." I tried as hard as I could to turn my arm into lightning. In an instant my arm exploded into an electric storm. "Heheheheh sweet. I like this dream. I don't wanna wake up. Thank god it's summer or I'd have to go to school."

"Yeah ok whatever but this isn't a dream." Nami said. She seemed to be annoyed. "Why do you think this is a dream?"

"Huh. Oh because this doesn't exist. One Piece is completely made up. It's just a story."

"WHAT!" Luffy screamed. "NO! ONE PIECE IS REAL! I'M GONNA FIND IT AND"

"Yeah yeah yeah. Be king of pirates. You go do that. I'm gonna go kick Sanji in the nuts. See ya." I walked off to the kitchen.

"Uh. What the hell is going on?" Luffy asked. He was completely stupefied by this strange encounter.

This is kinda weird. It's like I'm living out Skie's fanfic. Only difference. Sanji's gonna be sterile and my relatives aren't here. If my relatives show I am gonna be pissed.

I walked into the kitchen. "Hi Sanji!" I waved with my evil grin.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Not important. I just came here to give you a message."

"Oh yeah. Well what"

"Dear Sanji. NO KIDS FOR YOU!" I kicked him in the balls as hard as I could. He grunted and his cigarette flew out of his mouth. "Ah yes. A dream come true." I walked out of the room very happy that I finally got to do that in a dream. "Wonderful, truly."

Luffy and Nami bolted into the room. "AHH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS KID?" Nami screamed. Sanji was curled up on the floor wheezing from pain. He was rocking back and forth.

"Ok we gotta get this kid off the ship. Who the hell is he anyway." Luffy asked. Nami shrugged and then they chased after me.

As I was walking along the Going Merry just exploring what the One Piece world looked like I was hit over the head with something very hard.

I awoke a little while later. I was once again tied to the mast. "Ugh. Again with this. Ok guys come on. Let me frolic around the ship. I'm only here for about 9 hours total. Some of which I was K.O.ed for."

"THIS ISN'T A DREAM YOU TWIT!"

"Uh...none of your mouths moved." He said scanning the crew. "Who said that."

"I did."

"Ugh again from behind me. I CAN'T SEE YOU! MOVE OVER HERE! NI!"

"God you are sooooo stupid."

I made my signature angry glare. "Stfu hippie."

"God your really this annoying? I thought you'd be...tamer in real life."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU! I CAN'T SEE YOU!" I wiggled around in the ropes. "God what's with you guys. Why am I always tied to this stupid thing?" I heard footsteps behind me. "Finally coming into my line of sight. Ok so who are you."

The girl walked past me then turned around. "Now you can see me. Who am I?"

"Uh...you are...uh...I can tell you who your not." I smiled.

"You are so stupid. Are you blind or just stupid."

"Yeah don't know you. Although...nope don't know ya."

"Well then. You have THREE guesses to figure out who I am. If you don't guess right then you stayed tied up until I decide to let you free."

"Shouldn't that be Luffy's decision?" I asked.

"NO! BECAUSE I KNOW YOU AND HE DOESN'T!"

"You are loud." She rubbed her eyes.

"You get ONE hint. I'm good at basketball."

"You are definitely NOT Yao Ming...or Shaq...or Michael Jordan...uh...who else...I DON'T KNOW ANYONE FROM THE WNBA!"

"Are you like TRYING to be annoying or are you just stupid?"

"The latter."

"Yeah ok come on. Three guesses ." (Real name not to be shown)

The glare again. "How do you know my name. I only introduce myself as Snow to these guys and I don't think I even did that yet."

"WOW YOU ARE SOOOO FRIGGIN STUPID! Is my art really THAT bad?"

Art and basket ball skills. Skie does art. Basket ball. I dunno. Andre does art. But he's a guy. Random people off DA do art. I could easily have a secret fan off that site.

"Do you have a DA account?" I asked.

"Your kidding right. Ok do you HONESTLY not know who I am."

"I have a guess but this is a dream and it'd be kind of weird if you were in one of my dreams so I don't think it's you. Are you sure you're not in the WNBA?"

"YES I AM SURE I AM NOT IN THE WNBA YOU FRIGGIN IDIOT! AND THIS ISN'T A DREAM! THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!"

"Prove it!" I said slyly. She kicked me in the balls.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU DIRTY LITTLE MOTHER ER! WHEN I GET UNTIED I'M GONNA RIP YOUR ING FACE OFF! YOU ARE SOOOO LUCKY YOU DON'T HAVE BALLS I'D KICK WHEN I'M UNTIED!" I rambled on.

"That was fun. Tell you what. Every time you guess who I am wrong I'll kick you in the balls. Every minute you go without giving me a name as to who I am I kick you in the balls. Deal?"

"NO!"

"Ok great. Ready GO!" My eyes bugged out.

"Uh uh uh uh uh. You know I DO intend to have a kid at some point right?"

"52."

"I got time."

"10"

"HEY! YOU SKIPPED 40 SECONDS!"

"3."

"AHHH! SKIE?"

"Huh? You guess Skie?"

"If I do NOT get kicked in the balls then yes."

"Ok you win."

"Oh thank god."

"Ok come on. Luffy untie him. I'll explain what's going on once your free." She smiled.

"I really dislike you."

Luffy untied me and I stood up. "Ok. I'm free." I cracked my knuckles. "I don't lie. Ever." I smiled nice and evil. "YOU ARE SO DEAD!" I punched Skie in the gut.

"Guh." she groaned. "Ow." she said in a wheezy kind of voice. Apparently I knocked the wind out of her.

"See. Your lucky I don't have balls to target." I smiled. "Ok we're even now. Even though ball kicking hurts more."

Skie keeled over and collapsed. "Uh...are you ok?" I asked stepping away from her. This could be some rouse to make me feel bad for her then she can catch me off-garde.

"Can't breath." she wheezed.

"Oops. Yeah this is kind of a strange way to meet. This turned out very bizarre."

"Help me." she coughed and rolled onto her side.

"Um...do NOT pull a Houdini and die from one punch ok."

"Help me." her face began to turn purple.

"Oh crap." I squatted. "What do we do?" I said frantically. She grinned and punched me in the face.

"Oh. Oh. You dirty little SON OF A B! I'M GONNA FING KILL YOU! YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

She stood up and started running away which was of course followed by a chase.

"They are DEFINITELY friends." Luffy said.

"Oh yeah." said Pipo.

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Yeah I just had to do something like this. Something where everyone I know who likes One Piece ends up mixing like this. Skie gets to be the first to arrive because of all the people I know (other than me) she likes One Piece most. I am the uber fan though so nya.

SKIE, If you would like to not appear in this story for some reason just say so and I'll delete it. Yeah...

It's like 12:30 AM and I haven't used the toilet in 8 hours and I have to go really really badly. If I were to go to sleep without using the toilet, I can guarantee I would not be happy when I woke up. GOODNIGHT PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY BOTHERED TO READ THIS FOR SOME WEIRD REASON!