Ok everyone.

I am very familiar with the feeling of failure. I'm sure some of you are too.

It's just that my failure manifests itself in my nightmares. It doesn't happen very often but when it does it's hard to shake that feeling off. It's like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

Now, I have a feeling that this is gonna be really angsty and probably pretty bad.

I'm writing the intro before the story because I'm promising myself right now that I will post this.

I have a bit of a hard time admitting that I still struggle. While I am stable and I'm nowhere near as 'broken' as I used to be there are always going to be days that are hard. I'm sure you all know this.

So please if you're reading this, understand that it's emotional word vomit and it's bound to get a bit messy. This isn't technically for the angst war, it's really just to help me release my emotions in a healthy way but it you want to get worked up about it bugaboo go ahead.

So here goes.

Adrien's POV

I am very familiar with the feeling of failure.

My father made it very clear to me that I always had to be perfect. Any imperfection what hidden immediately from the public eye and I was punished.

I could trip and I'd be locked away in my room for the rest of the night.

Left and right people told me I wasn't good enough for them.

That my grades weren't high enough, my fencing technique wasn't flawless enough, my chinese wasn't fluent enough, my music wasn't elegant enough, my waist wasn't thin enough.

At some point their words became what I thought about myself.

So I pushed myself.

Exercised more, practiced more, studied more, ate… less.

But eventually that became my ultimate demise.

The akumas that day were especially nasty. The came one after the other leaving Ladybug and I not time to get extra help.

I was exhausted. I hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch that day due to the akumas, not to mention I hardly could touch dinner after I got a 93% on my biology quiz.

I know that sounds like a dumb thing to get worked up about but after two and a half hours of scolding from your father you wouldn't be hungry either.

I swear I tried to get to her; but when the akuma fired it's gun I couldn't make it in time. My legs were sluggish and weak and the pain was consuming me.

Our screams rip out into the air.

When I finally get to her a dark red stain forms on her suit and I gather her up in my arms and hid in a dark alleyway.

Violent sobs tear through my body.

"I-I failed you…" I cry out. "I'm so sorry! Please don't go! I can't do this without you!"

"Shhh… It's ok chaton, I'm fine…" She coos in my ear before she's sent into a coughing fit.

"No, don't… don't lie to me. It'll only hurt more when you're gone."

"Chat, you can't give up. Not now. I need you to take my miraculous to master Fu. He'll help you find a new Ladybug."

I turn to her with tears streaming down my eyes.

"New Ladybug? There isn't a soul on this earth that could replace you. No one else will ever be good enough because I love you more than night loves the day, It wasn't meant to be this way. I can't lose you! I am the failure! I'm the one cursed with bad luck! Why can't the akuma have hit me–"

I'm cut off with a very sudden and passionate kiss that I can't help but give into. The kiss is a long and hard summer's rain. Relentless, as if the heavens had suddenly opened up and cried. Her hands electrify me and our heartbeats are like a sudden clap of thunder. Coup de Foundre as they call it.

Suddenly we're enveloped in a flash of pink and when I pull away Marinette lies in my arms.

My eyes widen in shock and I squeeze my eyes shut as she pulls her earrings off of her ears.

"This can't be happening! I can't lose my two best friends in one day!" I cry out as my transformation drops.

"Adrien, Chaton, please be strong." She presses her earrings into my palm. "I love you with all of my heart Adrien, my knight."

Her body relaxes in my arms as she goes limp but I can still hear her voice.

"Adrien."

"Adrien please."

"Chaton."

"Minou wake up!"

I jolt awake finding myself cradled in marinette's arms. I'm covered in a sheen of sweat and my breathing comes out as gasps.

"I-I'm sorry M'lady." I mumble.

"Don't apologize Chaton, it's ok. It was just a nightmare ok?"

"No, you almost died in my arms, Marinette. Had Alya not called the paramedics in time you wouldn't be here." I mumble as my hand ghosts over her scar.

Marinette wraps her arms tightly around me.

"I love you, Princess." I nuzzle my head into her shoulder.

"I love you more, Adrien."

"We both know that's not possible, M'lady."