Author: MoiraShipper
Resume: After the Apocalypse, Moira goes on a mission in Somalia, avoiding Charles, but the mutant contacts her. Part one of 'Joanne'
Million Reasons
I bow down to pray
I try to make the worst seem better
Lord, show me the way
To cut through all his worn out leather
I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, i just need one good one to stay
Lady Gaga-Million reasons
Two months had passed since the Apocalypse and Agent Moira Mactaggert was in a small village in Somalia where she was investigating a terrorist group that had been involved in experiments on mutants and somehow related to former Colonel Stryker, who had been arrested two months ago by herself.
Near the village, there was an abandoned secret base where Moira and the team that she commanded had found the records and data left behind, and were investigating the involved terrorists who had used to act in that area.
Usually she would take some vacation after long missions, such as the one in Cairo, to spend time with her son, but her mind was filled with thoughts and memories of Charles and she had felt so confused and stressed that she had decided to accept the work. Also, that was a way to help mutants like her son, ending the terrorisms against them.
Charles Xavier. The mutant for whom she had feeling for twenty years ago and had erased her memory and then returned them after the Apocalypse. Having the memories back was like discovering a new world and feelings she didn't know she had for the mutant, and that remained even after all this time. For twenty years she hadn't even known him and now, with the memories back, she discovered that she'd had feelings for him and the feelings still existed. She still was in love with him.
She understood the reasons behind what he'd done, wanting to protect her and the mutants under his tutelage, could see his regret in his blue eyes and the longing, but that didn't mean that she wasn't feeling confuse or disappointed at him. She needed more than his regret as a reason for them to talk again. So after the silent flight back to the US, they hadn't seen each other again because of the chaos left by the Apocalypse to be solved and now she was there in Africa, trying to focus on her career and not on her youthful dreams.
"Agent Mactaggert? We found several deactivated bombs downstairs." Officer Tigers, her subordinate, said.
Moira was in a chamber that had been used for torture of both mutants and civilians, photographing what was left of the place.
"Okay, call Team B to make sure they are no longer a threat before we destroy the place, I'll escort our prisoners to the village."
"Right." Tigers went into the hallway that looked like a tunnel, using the radio to warn the rest of the team.
Guarding the camera and some folders she'd found in her backpack, Moira adjusted the belt of her uniform where her weapon was and headed for the tunnel to escort the two terrorists she had captured.
"Moira?"
Moira stopped in the middle of the tunnel, her heart racing. She knew that voice well, for it was the same voice that had been appearing in her dreams since the Apocalypse.
Turning slowly, she ran into Agent Tigers who had his dark blue eyes glazed on her. And the voice that came out of his mouth belonged not to him, but to Charles F. Xavier.
On the other side of the world, Charles had held his breath for a moment, seeing Moira in her green military uniform and was like being visited by her image from twenty years ago. She was still beautiful, despite the shock and fear on her face that caused pain in Charles because he knew he was responsible for such feelings.
Still shocked, Moira turned and headed in the other direction hurriedly, not knowing what to say, her heart racing after listening to him and she had millions of thoughts in her mind. She passed by two more of her agents, who were carrying some boxes and the two called her name, each with the voice of Charles, until she reached the corridor leading to the old laboratory where the captured terrorists were being held.
But at the door, the agent responsible for them, Doyle, also had the same glazed look as the others, and Moira felt nervous, knowing she could no longer avoid the telepath and she took a deep breath.
"We need to talk Moira." Charles said in a calm voice, but there was a tingle of sadness.
"Charles, it's been two months, you gave me my memories back and that's it, what more was left to be said?" She asked slowly, shaking her head.
It was weird talking to him in someone else's body and, after all, Doyle was taller than Charles, with his chair, and his eyes were gray and she realized how much she was still in love with him, even though she'd only met him two months ago, although they've met 20 years ago and fallen in love, living a brief romance before Cuba happened.
"A lot Moira... for some reason, during that time, I couldn't get into your mind, it was like you were blocking me..."
"And so you decided to get into my agents' minds?" She said irritably, folding her arms. "Why all this work if you could just wait until I get back to the USA?"
"Because I needed to apologize and... I needed to see you without being just in my dreams."
Even if it was Doyle's face in front of her, for a moment her eyes deceived her, making her see Charles and she sighed, feeling part of her fear and stress evaporate and give way to the longing she felt for Charles.
"I... I missed you, Charles." She admitted in a broken voice, remembering his kisses, his touch, the way he looked at her, like she was the only woman in his world, and his eyes softened.
"I miss you too. I know I had no right to do what I did to you and then reappear in your life and cause you pain, that is my greatest regret my dear, but I need you to listen to my motives, you don't have to accept them, but give me the chance to explain... "
"Charles, I understand, really." She said, looking at him earnestly, but her eyes were shining. "You didn't want to risk my safety or your students'."
"But that doesn't mean it was the right decision." Charles said, his voice sad, watching the woman he loved.
"No..." She agreed softly. "You should have given me the chance to choose Charles."
"I know, but my fear was that you'd choose to stay and end up hurting yourself by associating with us, mutants, and because I loved you."
Moira felt her heart race with his sincere words as she leaned against the wall for support.
"But the choice would have been mine to get hurt. In the end, we both ended up hurting Charles, but alone, because of your decision and not ours, I would have chosen to stay with the person I loved, it was the right choice."
"Would you still make that choice?"
"Charles..." She said, shaking her head with watery eyes. "There are so many reasons for me to stay away from you. My son, my work, the fact that you erased my memories. But if you give me one reason why you wouldn't erase my memories again, I would stay. Not the fact that you still have feelings for me."
"Moira..."
It was frustrating that the two of them couldn't touch each other at that moment, and Charles could see the slight tremors in Moira's body from her tears, against the wall.
"My selfishness." He murmured in a sincere voice, making her meet his blue eyes and Moira felt the security and love that came from him while she relaxed her back on the wall under his gaze. "The fact that I am selfish and don't want to live without your presence in my life, without being able to touch you, make you smile. That is the reason I can offer to you Moira."
"I would never force you to stay with me or change your memories like I did, but I want you Moira. I want to love you, make you happy, if you think it's possible, be by your side in the good and bad times. I want it to be me. It's not a good or beautiful reason, but it's what I have. "
"No, Charles, it's perfect." Moira replied smiling. To hear that he loved her had touched her as well as the fact that he had said that his selfishness was a reason to want her to stay. "These months, it was like my heart was bleeding, but you gave me what I needed, Charles."
She didn't think his love was selfish, he was the kindest and most correct man she knew, but he meant that he didn't want to lose her, or see her with another man, but with him. She knew that with him, she would see only love and affection in every gesture, unlike her first husband, who hadn't treated her well. And because of this, she loved him deeply, even after twenty years in the dark, since Cuba.
Charles felt his heart warm at Moira's words. He knew from the moment that he had kissed her after Cuba, that she was the only woman for him, smart, independent, but also, who accepted him the way he was.
"I love you, Charles." She said, with a beautiful smile, staring into the blue eyes of Charles behind the gray of Doyle, seeing the emotion in them.
"I love you too, Moira. I've always loved you." They both smiled, excited as they looked at each other, thinking of all that had happened in the last twenty years, and he asked, "How long until you're back?"
"Four more months." She said with a sigh, knowing there was still a lot left to do in Somalia. "It's a six-month mission and depending on how it ends, not only I won't be on field missions again, but I will also have a chance to make a difference between humans and mutants."
"Moira?" He frowned and she gave him a mysterious smile.
If all went well, she would be the director of a CIA section for crimes against mutants. Not only would she be the first powerful woman in the CIA in an important position, but she would be helping her son and other mutants, like Charles had been doing.
"It's a surprise, don't read my mind."
"I'll wait for your return Moira." Charles promised in a serious and loving way, knowing that it would be four long months, but that it would be worth it, to have her back and not millions of miles away.
And Moira, with several thoughts of the two together gave him a beautiful smile, adjusting her hair and the military coat, cluttered from leaning against the wall, ready to complete her mission.
"I'm anxious."