She's mine.
Or she used to be, anyway.
She was mine before she was hers.
I was hers before I was his.
To be honest, I'm not completely his. I never have been. Santana and I broke up because Lima got in the way. For some reason, I couldn't seem to get our past out of my mind. Santana had been nothing but good to me while we were together and I couldn't get past high school. I never should have brought it up during arguments. That's what ultimately ended us. It wasn't the huge fight we had, the one where I told the biggest lie that had ever come out of my mouth when I told Santana that I hated her. No, it was the little digs I would slip in about our past and things she'd said or done to me in high school.
The second Santana broke up with me, I knew I'd just lost The One. She's gone from being The One to being The One That Got Away. I've avoided her at all costs. I haven't been able to avoid her name though. She still spends time with Kurt, but never at the loft. I'm honestly not sure what I would do if I saw her again.
I'm not in love with Sam. It's really not fair for me to date him when I'm in love with her, but I lost her. I needed to move on.
I still do.
I think it's time I get over Santana. I don't want to, but I need to.
"Hey, Rach." I look up from my magazine and smile at my roommate. I haven't been the best roommate or friend since my relationship ended and I'm trying to fix that. "The band is performing tomorrow at Callbacks. I'd really like it if you came to see us, you haven't been to a show in a while."
"I know, I'm sorry about that." Kurt smiles.
"It's okay." I shake my head.
"No, it's not. What time is the show?" Kurt grins.
"Nine."
"I'll be there. Thank you for inviting me." I say, smiling.
"Of course... Just so you know, Santana's going to be there." I bite my lip. I haven't seen Santana since the night we broke up. "She's dating our new band member, Dani. They're still pretty new." She's dating someone? I knew it would happen eventually, but it still hurts to hear. I wonder if she knows I'm dating Sam. I wonder what her reaction was.
"Oh. Okay. Thanks for letting me know." Kurt nods and walks away. I'm tempted to not go, but I don't want to hurt Kurt's feelings.
I'm just going to have to suck it up and see my ex-girlfriend watching her girlfriend while I'm on a date with my boyfriend.
Just when I thought I was going to start getting over her.
"Do you want to meet at the loft and go to the bar together or do you want to meet at Callbacks?"
"I don't care, Sam. Whichever you want to do." I say as I look through my closet. I've gone through my closet twice and I still haven't picked out an outfit.
"Okay, well I have to pass the bar to get to the loft, so let's meet there and then I'll walk you home afterwards."
"Okay, sounds good. I'll see you there." I hang up the phone just as I spot an outfit that had been hidden in the back.
That's the one. Santana will love it.
Sam! Sam will love it.
This is going to be harder than I thought.
The moment I walk into the bar, I see my ex-girlfriend staring at her phone while sitting alone at a table. God, she looks so beautiful. I didn't think it was possible for the most beautiful girl in the world to get even more beautiful, but she did.
Sighing, I walk over to the table. "Do you mind if I join you?" Santana jumps at the sound, looking up at me as she raises a hand to her chest.
"You scared the shit out of me." I smile apologetically. I didn't mean to do that, but I should have expected that reaction. It used to happen all the time when we were dating. "I was saving this seat for you, actually. Kurt told me you were coming."
"Thank you." I say, sitting down next to her. Santana smiles slightly, watching me for a moment. "Which one is your girlfriend?" Santana chuckles.
"Well, there's three members and only one of them is a girl, so you do the math." I blush, letting out a nervous laugh. I should have figured that one out.
"Is she good to you?" I whisper. Santana smiles softly and nods.
"I really like her." she says, biting her lip before looking back at me. I can feel her eyes on me as she gives me a once-over. "You look good, Rachel."
"So do you." I admit, looking away. Santana sighs.
"About that night-"
"No, you were right to break up with me. I was holding that stuff over your head and it wasn't fair." Santana looks down. I can't take this anymore, it's too hard. "You know, I think I'm going to go sit at the bar or something."
"Rach, don't."
"This table only seats two. There's no room for Sam." I explain. Santana rolls her eyes.
"So he can sit at the bar." I bite my lip, looking up at Santana.
"I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate me sitting at a table with my ex-girlfriend while he's sitting at the bar." Santana stares at me as she seemingly processes the information.
"Boyfriend? Your boyfriend? Wait a second. You're dating Sam?" I nod. "Kurt didn't tell me that. How long?"
"A few months." I say, shrugging. Santana looks down and for a moment it seems like she's sad, but the look is gone so quickly that I don't even know if I should bring it up.
"Hey Rach."
Not that it matters though. Before I know it, I'm being wrapped in a hug and look over in time to see Santana glaring slightly at Sam while he isn't looking.
What's that about? Why does she look jealous?
No.
I don't get to read into this, it's not my place.
No, I need to get over her. I need to let her be happy and her girlfriend seems to be doing a better job at that than I did.
"What's up Trouty?" she asks, staying seated.
"Not much, what about yourself?" Santana shrugs.
"The same. Just school and working at the bar." Sam nods.
"Do you still write songs?" he asks, smiling slightly.
"Not so much right now. I've had writer's block for awhile." I open my mouth to ask another question when Kurt, Elliott, and a girl who can only be Dani walk onstage and start the show.
I've never been so thankful to see Kurt before. He unknowingly just saved me from enduring more awkward small talk with my ex-girlfriend and my boyfriend.
When the band finishes the final song, I clap and cheer along with Sam and Santana. Kurt, Dani, and Elliott walk off the stage and I look up at Sam. "Do you want to stick around for a bit or do you want to go?"
"What time do you have class tomorrow?" he asks.
"Ten, but I could-" I get cut off by a yawn escaping me, earning a laugh from the other two.
"I'm thinking whatever you were about to say was going to be a lie." Santana observes with a grin. I smile sheepishly, letting out a giggle as we all stand up.
"They were really good." Santana nods. I can see the proud smile on her face, but it doesn't seem as big as it could be. Before she can say anything, Dani runs up and wraps her arms around Santana's neck.
"Babe!" Santana immediately hugs her. When they kiss, I look away. I can't see that, I'm not ready to.
"You were great, Dani." Santana says, pulling away slightly. The blonde grins as she looks over at me.
"Who's this?" I look up at Sam and am just about to introduce us when Santana speaks up.
"This is Kurt's roommate Rachel Berry and her... boyfriend Sam."
"So you're the infamous Rachel Berry." I raise an eyebrow, looking over at Santana in confusion. When she shrugs, I look at Dani.
I shouldn't be this hurt that Santana doesn't talk about me. Why would she tell her new girlfriend about her ex-girlfriend? The only reason we talked about Brittany was because we were both friends with her and they remained friends after their break up.
But how does this girl know about me?
"Infamous? That's not exactly the word I'm going for." Dani, Sam, and Santana chuckle.
"Kurt talks about you all the time." Dani explains with a smile. I look at Santana, who slightly shakes her head.
Dani doesn't know that Santana and I dated.
Well, I'm not going to be the one to tell her. No need to make this anymore awkward than it already is.
"We should get going. I have class in the morning and my yawning is any indication, I'm about to fall asleep right here." I say, laughing slightly before looking at Dani. "It was really nice to meet you. You were great tonight."
"Thank you. It was nice meeting you as well." Sam smiles at Dani, repeating the sentiment as I look at my ex-girlfriend.
"It was great to see you, Rach." she whispers, meeting my eyes.
"You too. I'm sure I'll see you at another show soon." Santana nods.
"I go to most of them." I smile slightly. "See you around."
"Yeah." After a moment, she turns to Sam, who gives her an awkward wave.
"Rach, let's go say goodbye to Kurt and then we can head out." he suggests. I finally tear my eyes away from her and smile up at Sam.
"Yeah, sounds good." With a wave, we walk over to where Kurt is standing.
"What'd you guys think?" he asks. I can't help but grin.
"You were so good!" Sam nods.
"Yeah, definitely. You guys have gotten a lot better since the last time we came." Sam hasn't been to a show since I stopped going. He would stay and keep me company when I started avoiding them back when Santana was in the band.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Sam asks for the tenth time. I have to hold back my sigh. He means well, I know he does.
"Yeah, I'm sure. I just want to be alone tonight." Sam shrugs and nods, walking out of the loft. Sighing in relief, I walk to my room and manage to make it to my bed before I start crying.
I pushed her away and I regret it. But there's nothing I can do. I'm not going to try and mess up her relationship. She looks really happy and I don't want to ruin that for her.
If I thought for one minute that I could have a second chance with her, I'd end things with Sam. My heart will always belong to Santana.
If only hers wasn't taken.
A/N: This will have six chapters, including this one. Chapter five will also be from Rachel's point of view and chapter two and chapter six will be from Santana's point of view. Chapter three and chapter four will be in Dani and Sam's point of view and will be shorter than the ones in Rachel and Santana's POV. I will be uploading once a week. I hope you guys enjoy reading this!