Title: Man, I Feel Like a Woman! Genre: Humor Rating: PG-13 Summary: A joint fic with ShinobiWolf. Tired of their boyfriends' immature antics, the girls of Knothole go on vacation. The boys will go to any lengths to follow them. -Any- lengths. Contains numerous pairings and two OCs.
Man, I Feel Like a Woman!
ShinobiWolf's homepage will soon have a prequel to this fic in the "My Fan Manga section.
By Ria Cola and ShinobiWolf
Chapter One: Sayonara to Our Dignity
It was a bright, sunny July day in Knothole. The women of Knothole, that is, Sally, Hershey, Bunnie, Ria Cola, and Julie-Su, who was visiting with Knuckles, were gossiping about "their men".
"That Sonic!" Sally fumed. "He just gets on my nerves. The other day he left the toilet seat up in any palace bathroom he visited! My mother is about to explode... And he never does anything I tell him to. A few hours ago, I told him specifically to not run laps around the castle. And now the castle has a moat!"
"Tell me about it, Sally-girl! Twan is always cleanin' my hut."
"So, what's wrong with that?" Julie-Su asked, for she was a fan of having her own place clean.
"Darlin', he sweeps the dirt path, and gets mad when it doesn't come clean! But girl, you should see how sparklin' clean my toilet is! I can even see my reflection in the seat! It's like nothin' to him can ever be clean enough."
"Well try dating Geoffrey! He trains twenty four-seven! When he was training me to be an agent, he was pretty harsh and strict. There's no telling how much worse he's gotten since then. The other night I wanted to have a nice dinner at my hut together, just the two of us. So here I am in this nice green dress, which may I add I picked out just for him, I had candles lit, romantic music playing, and he ditched me for a weight bench! What's that all about?" Hershey sighed, throwing her hands up in the air.
"Oh, don't get me started on Knuckles..."
xxxxx
Knuckles and Julie-Su were standing on the balcony of his mother's apartment.
"My, Knuckles, it's so chilly out here..." Julie-Su batted her eyelashes, and edged closer to him. Just when she was about to lean on his shoulder, he moved to leave, sending Julie-Su sprawling to the ground. She pulled herself from the ground.
"Where are you going?"
"To get a blanket. You said you were cold..." Julie-Su smacked her face with her hand.
xxxxx
Knuckles knelt in front of his mother's bathroom door, in order to fix the sticky lock.
"You know, Knuckles, it wouldn't be so bad to be stuck in the bathroom, if I were stuck in there with you..."
"But how would we eat?"
xxxxx
"Wow, even Sonic isn't that dense. Maybe there's hope for him yet." Sally pointed out.
"You know, I like Elias, really I do. But every time I turn around, guess who's there. Elias. He wants to keep me locked up in the palace for my protection, but that's just not my thing. It's way too stuffy in there... He's so protective of me, and I'd swear he'd like me in a bubble. I need a vacation or someone's going to get hurt." Ria sighed. She had just started to date the prince, after that whole thing with the werewolves passed over. Before that mess, she had come to Knothole with Shadow and Shizuru. She was a fox and cat hybrid with fur similar to Sally's, but lighter, with shoulder-length, orange hair.
"Okay, I agree. But let's give them one more chance." Maybe they won't screw it up this time. Sally pondered.
"Yah, right." Bunnie doubted.
"Oh well. It's time to get over to the lake now, anyway. Watch Elias throw a fit about me being late. He'll start off with 'do you know what time it is', followed with 'where were you', 'don't do that again', and end it off with a kiss on the cheek." Ria explained to the girls in that exact order.
xxxxx
"Cannon ball!" Knuckles created a tidal wave of water as he jumped into the lake. The girls, sunbathing on the ground, were now all soaked. Hershey pulled her wet bangs from her face and looked to Geoffrey, on the towel next to her. He was doing push-ups. She thought to herself. He's getting as bad as Sonic about this relationship thing.
"That's it!" Sally and Hershey left to pack their bags, and the other girls followed.
xxxxx
Julie-Su threw her bags into the luggage compartment of the charter bus Sally rented for them. Knuckles was right behind her.
"What did I do?" He begged her, very confused as to what he did this time.
"That's exactly my point! You just can't read between the lines!"
"Was I supposed to?" He said in a macho tone of voice. Julie-Su let out an exasperated sigh as she stormed onto the bus. Sonic and Elias snickered at Knuckles. He truly didn't get women.
"Bye, Sonic." Sally walked by and boarded the bus. Sonic stopped snickering. Next, Ria boarded the bus. It was now Knuckles's turn to laugh.
"Ain't so perfect now are we? Princy-boy?" Knuckles teased Elias, for if you took one look at the prince it would seem his life was indeed perfect. Geoffrey followed Hershey to the bus.
"Come on, Hersh! Can't we settle this with a nice sparring match?"
"You just don't get it." She faced him before boarding the bus.
"What? Was it something I said?" Bunnie was last to board the bus. Antione was waving her off from the sidewalk.
"Make sure ze toilet is clean on ze bus!" They all watched with sad, sad eyes as their soul-mates rode off into the horizon, on a charter bus.
"It's okay, Antione." Geoffrey comforted the coyote. "It's not like she uses a toilet anyway."
"What?! How dare you speak of my Bunnie like zat! I am the only one whom is allowed to speak of her derriere like zat!"
"Who's fault is this, anyway?!" They all looked to Sonic, who was still watching where the bus left.
"What?! Is it national PMS day or something?!" Geoffrey glared at Sonic. This is definitely his fault. I'm not sure how, but it is. "Hedgehog, somehow I know this is your fault."
"We have to go after them!" Elias stepped forward.
"But we don't even know where zey went!"At that moment Amy Rose passed by.
"They told me they went to the Cloud Nine Hotel and Resort. But, at the Heavenly Delight club that they're going to, it's women's night. How are you going to..." Amy thought for a moment, then a rather devilish grin grew on her face. She knew a way to get them in there. The guys were unsure of her, especially with the look of pure evil she was giving them.
xxxxx
Later on that afternoon, Sonic and crew were already checked in and standing in one of their rooms. Amy opened the door to leave.
"There's a party downstairs that's just begging my attention. Everything that you'll need is in those pink bags. See ya later!" Amy shut the door behind her, wishing she could have seen the looks on their faces when they opened the bags. Luckily she hid a camera in a potted plant in the room. Was she bad? Oh yes. Elias unzipped one of the larger bags and pulled something out. His cheeks turned a whole new shade of red as he held it out at arm's length. That something was a bra.
"You're not serious." Knuckles dreaded.
"Maybe that's Amy's bag."
"Amy already put her stuff away." Geoffrey dug through the duffel bag and pulled out a plastic bag of empty water balloons.
"Now, these seem out of place..." Sonic stared at the bag Geoffrey held, and then it dawned on him.
"No... no way..." Geoffrey pulled the reluctant hedgehog into the bathroom to help. When they finally came out, they each held an armful of filled water balloons.
"Put on the bras." Geoffrey told them. After much difficulty they succeeded, and then were each handed a pair of water balloons.
Elias cringed. "I feel wrong..."
xxxxx
"I feel very wrong." Elias studied his new self in the full-length mirror. Every guy in the room said a sad good-bye to their dignity.
"Well, guys." Sonic sighed. "It's time." The boys left the room, looking for all the world like ten-year-olds playing dress-up. Sonic led them to the club in the basement of the resort, "Heavenly Delight". It was women's night, and not a single guy who wasn't on staff was allowed in. Before Sonic opened the door, Knuckles stopped him and motioned to his chest. Sonic finally got what the echidna meant, and casually pushed up one water balloon that was lower than the other. The group continued through the door, and waited by the front to be seated.
xxxxx
Shadow draped a towel over his arm as he readied to seat another group. His summer job at the resort was paying off rather well, despite his abundant lack of people skills. Shizuru said it would be a good way to become more socialized.
"Hello, how may I he-OLY !" Before him stood a rather familiar group of Mobians. "And to think, I thought that no one was lower than GUN... And what the hell is with your eyes?!"
"Ze eye-shadow was all zat I could do..." Antione had seen Bunnie put on eye shadow before, so he tried to imitate what she had done. Key word, tried. To beat around the bushes, he looked like he was trying to sell himself. And to make it worse, he didn't even know that. Before anyone could notice this atrocity that plagued him, Shadow shoved the "women" upstairs. Shizuru was working at the resort along with Shadow. He pulled her, along with Amy Rose, upstairs as well. The guys looked like really ugly, masculine women.
"All right, I'll take Sonic and Geoffrey. Amy, I'm sure you can handle the other three." Shizuru ordered.
"Yes Ma'am!" Amy enthusiastically saluted the gray wolf before turning to her victims- er, subjects.
"Now, back to the two of you." Shizuru eyed Sonic and Geoffrey. They gulped. "Let's start with your outfits..." The two guys grew anxious as she searched through one of the pink bags. "Well Sonic, you've got great legs so I'd recommend a mini skirt and... this belly shirt. Not that I'd wear any of this hoochy stuff myself..."
In no time at all Sonic and the others were made up real nice. And during this, they explained just why they would forego their dignity like that. Shizuru finished with Geoffrey, the last one.
"Quite frankly, I wouldn't blame them."
xxxxx
"Do you think they'll notice?" Geoffrey asked, afraid of the bloodshed that was to come if they were found out.
"Let's hope not..." Sonic muttered as he was the last one down the stairs, tripping every other step. He took a heart-felt moment to curse the clogs Amy gave him to wear on his feet. A sly look grew on Shadow's face, and he promptly seated them. After getting the guys their drinks, Shadow removed the divider separating their booth from the next one.
"Excuse me."
Sonic and Knuckles sat with their backs to where the divider had been, and the other three sat across from them. Geoffrey looked up just as he took a sip of his drink. He spit it out when he saw who was sitting behind them. But no matter how much the skunk motioned, Sonic and Knuckles just wouldn't take the hint. Until Geoffrey leaned over the table and forcefully turned Sonic's head around.
To be continued... XXXXXXXXXX
Man, I Feel Like a Woman!
ShinobiWolf's homepage will soon have a prequel to this fic in the "My Fan Manga section.
By Ria Cola and ShinobiWolf
Chapter One: Sayonara to Our Dignity
It was a bright, sunny July day in Knothole. The women of Knothole, that is, Sally, Hershey, Bunnie, Ria Cola, and Julie-Su, who was visiting with Knuckles, were gossiping about "their men".
"That Sonic!" Sally fumed. "He just gets on my nerves. The other day he left the toilet seat up in any palace bathroom he visited! My mother is about to explode... And he never does anything I tell him to. A few hours ago, I told him specifically to not run laps around the castle. And now the castle has a moat!"
"Tell me about it, Sally-girl! Twan is always cleanin' my hut."
"So, what's wrong with that?" Julie-Su asked, for she was a fan of having her own place clean.
"Darlin', he sweeps the dirt path, and gets mad when it doesn't come clean! But girl, you should see how sparklin' clean my toilet is! I can even see my reflection in the seat! It's like nothin' to him can ever be clean enough."
"Well try dating Geoffrey! He trains twenty four-seven! When he was training me to be an agent, he was pretty harsh and strict. There's no telling how much worse he's gotten since then. The other night I wanted to have a nice dinner at my hut together, just the two of us. So here I am in this nice green dress, which may I add I picked out just for him, I had candles lit, romantic music playing, and he ditched me for a weight bench! What's that all about?" Hershey sighed, throwing her hands up in the air.
"Oh, don't get me started on Knuckles..."
xxxxx
Knuckles and Julie-Su were standing on the balcony of his mother's apartment.
"My, Knuckles, it's so chilly out here..." Julie-Su batted her eyelashes, and edged closer to him. Just when she was about to lean on his shoulder, he moved to leave, sending Julie-Su sprawling to the ground. She pulled herself from the ground.
"Where are you going?"
"To get a blanket. You said you were cold..." Julie-Su smacked her face with her hand.
xxxxx
Knuckles knelt in front of his mother's bathroom door, in order to fix the sticky lock.
"You know, Knuckles, it wouldn't be so bad to be stuck in the bathroom, if I were stuck in there with you..."
"But how would we eat?"
xxxxx
"Wow, even Sonic isn't that dense. Maybe there's hope for him yet." Sally pointed out.
"You know, I like Elias, really I do. But every time I turn around, guess who's there. Elias. He wants to keep me locked up in the palace for my protection, but that's just not my thing. It's way too stuffy in there... He's so protective of me, and I'd swear he'd like me in a bubble. I need a vacation or someone's going to get hurt." Ria sighed. She had just started to date the prince, after that whole thing with the werewolves passed over. Before that mess, she had come to Knothole with Shadow and Shizuru. She was a fox and cat hybrid with fur similar to Sally's, but lighter, with shoulder-length, orange hair.
"Okay, I agree. But let's give them one more chance." Maybe they won't screw it up this time. Sally pondered.
"Yah, right." Bunnie doubted.
"Oh well. It's time to get over to the lake now, anyway. Watch Elias throw a fit about me being late. He'll start off with 'do you know what time it is', followed with 'where were you', 'don't do that again', and end it off with a kiss on the cheek." Ria explained to the girls in that exact order.
xxxxx
"Cannon ball!" Knuckles created a tidal wave of water as he jumped into the lake. The girls, sunbathing on the ground, were now all soaked. Hershey pulled her wet bangs from her face and looked to Geoffrey, on the towel next to her. He was doing push-ups. She thought to herself. He's getting as bad as Sonic about this relationship thing.
"That's it!" Sally and Hershey left to pack their bags, and the other girls followed.
xxxxx
Julie-Su threw her bags into the luggage compartment of the charter bus Sally rented for them. Knuckles was right behind her.
"What did I do?" He begged her, very confused as to what he did this time.
"That's exactly my point! You just can't read between the lines!"
"Was I supposed to?" He said in a macho tone of voice. Julie-Su let out an exasperated sigh as she stormed onto the bus. Sonic and Elias snickered at Knuckles. He truly didn't get women.
"Bye, Sonic." Sally walked by and boarded the bus. Sonic stopped snickering. Next, Ria boarded the bus. It was now Knuckles's turn to laugh.
"Ain't so perfect now are we? Princy-boy?" Knuckles teased Elias, for if you took one look at the prince it would seem his life was indeed perfect. Geoffrey followed Hershey to the bus.
"Come on, Hersh! Can't we settle this with a nice sparring match?"
"You just don't get it." She faced him before boarding the bus.
"What? Was it something I said?" Bunnie was last to board the bus. Antione was waving her off from the sidewalk.
"Make sure ze toilet is clean on ze bus!" They all watched with sad, sad eyes as their soul-mates rode off into the horizon, on a charter bus.
"It's okay, Antione." Geoffrey comforted the coyote. "It's not like she uses a toilet anyway."
"What?! How dare you speak of my Bunnie like zat! I am the only one whom is allowed to speak of her derriere like zat!"
"Who's fault is this, anyway?!" They all looked to Sonic, who was still watching where the bus left.
"What?! Is it national PMS day or something?!" Geoffrey glared at Sonic. This is definitely his fault. I'm not sure how, but it is. "Hedgehog, somehow I know this is your fault."
"We have to go after them!" Elias stepped forward.
"But we don't even know where zey went!"At that moment Amy Rose passed by.
"They told me they went to the Cloud Nine Hotel and Resort. But, at the Heavenly Delight club that they're going to, it's women's night. How are you going to..." Amy thought for a moment, then a rather devilish grin grew on her face. She knew a way to get them in there. The guys were unsure of her, especially with the look of pure evil she was giving them.
xxxxx
Later on that afternoon, Sonic and crew were already checked in and standing in one of their rooms. Amy opened the door to leave.
"There's a party downstairs that's just begging my attention. Everything that you'll need is in those pink bags. See ya later!" Amy shut the door behind her, wishing she could have seen the looks on their faces when they opened the bags. Luckily she hid a camera in a potted plant in the room. Was she bad? Oh yes. Elias unzipped one of the larger bags and pulled something out. His cheeks turned a whole new shade of red as he held it out at arm's length. That something was a bra.
"You're not serious." Knuckles dreaded.
"Maybe that's Amy's bag."
"Amy already put her stuff away." Geoffrey dug through the duffel bag and pulled out a plastic bag of empty water balloons.
"Now, these seem out of place..." Sonic stared at the bag Geoffrey held, and then it dawned on him.
"No... no way..." Geoffrey pulled the reluctant hedgehog into the bathroom to help. When they finally came out, they each held an armful of filled water balloons.
"Put on the bras." Geoffrey told them. After much difficulty they succeeded, and then were each handed a pair of water balloons.
Elias cringed. "I feel wrong..."
xxxxx
"I feel very wrong." Elias studied his new self in the full-length mirror. Every guy in the room said a sad good-bye to their dignity.
"Well, guys." Sonic sighed. "It's time." The boys left the room, looking for all the world like ten-year-olds playing dress-up. Sonic led them to the club in the basement of the resort, "Heavenly Delight". It was women's night, and not a single guy who wasn't on staff was allowed in. Before Sonic opened the door, Knuckles stopped him and motioned to his chest. Sonic finally got what the echidna meant, and casually pushed up one water balloon that was lower than the other. The group continued through the door, and waited by the front to be seated.
xxxxx
Shadow draped a towel over his arm as he readied to seat another group. His summer job at the resort was paying off rather well, despite his abundant lack of people skills. Shizuru said it would be a good way to become more socialized.
"Hello, how may I he-OLY !" Before him stood a rather familiar group of Mobians. "And to think, I thought that no one was lower than GUN... And what the hell is with your eyes?!"
"Ze eye-shadow was all zat I could do..." Antione had seen Bunnie put on eye shadow before, so he tried to imitate what she had done. Key word, tried. To beat around the bushes, he looked like he was trying to sell himself. And to make it worse, he didn't even know that. Before anyone could notice this atrocity that plagued him, Shadow shoved the "women" upstairs. Shizuru was working at the resort along with Shadow. He pulled her, along with Amy Rose, upstairs as well. The guys looked like really ugly, masculine women.
"All right, I'll take Sonic and Geoffrey. Amy, I'm sure you can handle the other three." Shizuru ordered.
"Yes Ma'am!" Amy enthusiastically saluted the gray wolf before turning to her victims- er, subjects.
"Now, back to the two of you." Shizuru eyed Sonic and Geoffrey. They gulped. "Let's start with your outfits..." The two guys grew anxious as she searched through one of the pink bags. "Well Sonic, you've got great legs so I'd recommend a mini skirt and... this belly shirt. Not that I'd wear any of this hoochy stuff myself..."
In no time at all Sonic and the others were made up real nice. And during this, they explained just why they would forego their dignity like that. Shizuru finished with Geoffrey, the last one.
"Quite frankly, I wouldn't blame them."
xxxxx
"Do you think they'll notice?" Geoffrey asked, afraid of the bloodshed that was to come if they were found out.
"Let's hope not..." Sonic muttered as he was the last one down the stairs, tripping every other step. He took a heart-felt moment to curse the clogs Amy gave him to wear on his feet. A sly look grew on Shadow's face, and he promptly seated them. After getting the guys their drinks, Shadow removed the divider separating their booth from the next one.
"Excuse me."
Sonic and Knuckles sat with their backs to where the divider had been, and the other three sat across from them. Geoffrey looked up just as he took a sip of his drink. He spit it out when he saw who was sitting behind them. But no matter how much the skunk motioned, Sonic and Knuckles just wouldn't take the hint. Until Geoffrey leaned over the table and forcefully turned Sonic's head around.
To be continued... XXXXXXXXXX