Sound of Waves
濤声 (Tousei)
My body was going increasingly colder by the minute and my breathing growing shallow. I lay on the damp forest floor of Yakushima wondering what more I could have done. I tried my best to protect him... and I hope I did. I don't hear him... all I hear are the loud calls of crows. The flapping of their wings dully ringing in my ears.
I try to scream, to shout for my son, but all that comes out is a sickening gurgle and I instantly cough, blood spewing from my mouth nearly choking me. I knew I was dying... I can hear death's calls coming in waves. The sound of those waves resonating so sweetly... I feel the whisper in the wind... "Come home" it says, "I'm here now".
My life until now was so peaceful and the memories of yesterday are now coming to me in flashes, making everything so bittersweet. I don't want to go but I know I can't hold on much longer... I know it's my time. I don't want to leave my son and it saddens me to think of him all on his own. Surely he knows he will never be alone? He should know that no matter what happens I will always be by his side... surely he knows?
The crows are approaching my body... they're flocking around me. I'm not angry at them... it's just nature and I am more than happy with them feeding off my body once I am gone. At least I can give the forest that much back.
I take one more painful wheezing breath in... I know these are my final moments in this forest... in this world. My body and my heart are in so much pain both physical and emotional. The sound of waves is resonating even more now... I can hear it clearly. The time has come... and I must say goodbye.
"Live on my son. I am always in your heart and by your side." I smile one last time with my final thought spoken to the universe and beyond. My final breath and my final tear.
~I'm always with you on your shoulder like an angel.~
Author's Note: Inspiration for this one shot comes from DIR EN GREY's song 濤声 (Tousei) from their latest album ARCHE.
I watch a video of the band playing this live and the emotion Kyo had in the video was both touching and heartfelt. The lyrics of the song itself are truly touching as well. I know a lot of people have written about Jun's final moments but here's my take. I imagine it from Jun's point but I wonder if it might as well have been Kazumi's. Hope you enjoyed what I wrote and thank you for reading.
*Also the lovely lovely main man in my life wrote a one shot as well after I linked him the same video I watched. His one shot is called