Facts and coincidences
He does not know her name.
When Slughorn introduces her to him on his party at the summer's tail of 1969, she catches a glimpse of confusion in his eyes. A name of which he could not match with the face of its owner. But that moment past quickly,
"Miss. Black." He repeats and kisses her hand politely, "My pleasure."
They talk a bit after that. He asks her which year she is in and what courses she plans to take.
She stops attending Slughorn's parties after the first few times. She's not a fan of socialization plus O.W.L.s. do require some time. Slughorn's class is easy enough, but his overly enthusiasm towards building celebrity network is simply consuming. She would prefer taking a walk under the starry sky and enjoy the cool breeze of a warm night than drinking and giggling with those shallow minded girls like an idiot.
However, that may be why she did not realize she has lost her robe, the fancy one she brings with her to school and has only worn when she goes to Slughorn's parties, until she starts packing days before Christmas. Her insistence of taking it with her had annoyed her mother and she had warned her if she ever lose it she would not have a replacement. Her mother is good at keeping her words but there's no way she will attend all those Christmas parties wearing her school robe.
The thing is, she does not know when did she lost it,nor where. She has searched every corner of Slug Club center room and of the girls' dorm without any result. She thinks about the routine from the centre room to her own dorm, then decides to give the Slytherin dungeon a final try. Bella once left her book behind the fireplace and she might just make the same mistake.
She goes down at midnight when she supposes everyone should be asleep. The dungeon is quiet. It is a windless night. The stars and moon shine beautifully in the sky. She remembers humming a little bit, or maybe she also talks to herself at some point, a habit she had had since she was a small child. She is too focused on looking for her robe that fails to notice his existence until he speaks,
"Are you looking for something, Miss. Black?"
She startles from her searching to see him besides the window. Sitting on a wooden chair hidden in the shadow of the curtains. She can only see the reflection of moonlight from his well-waxed letter shoes. When she simply stars at him with wide eyes, he uncrossed his legs, stands up and looks at her with arched eyebrows. She suddenly realizes that she is still kneeling in front of the sofa and desperately hopes the darkness of the night is a good enough cover for she can now feel the heat climbing up the shell of her ears. She does not know when he has noticed her or how long has he been watching her with his eyes. He has beautiful eyes. There are glimpses of lights hidden inside, but they are too dark and she can not tell what is he thing or unravel whatever secrets dancing there. She stands up hastily awkwardly, feeling her cheek burning and babbles barely audible,
"No. Nothing. Thanks."
She can feel his eyes on her until she climbs the stairs and turns the corner of girls' dormitory.
The very next day, when she comes back from library, she sees a package on her desk. It's roughly wrapped. She opens it to find her lost robe in it, clean and folded. Inside she finds a note says 'my pleasure' and knows immediately who had found it.
She stares at the left cuff of the robe. No doubt this is her robe. She's just curious how he knew, for she has never told him what she's looking for and the only sign on that robe is the simple shape of narcissus.
†††
She is not his girl.
It's a common knowledge among the wizard world that the single heir of Malfoy family is in need of a wife.
Every one of three gossips her mother talks about has the name Malfoy. Since she's the only girl left at home, her mother urges her to go to Malfoy Manor for afternoon tea every Wednesday, along with other twenty some pureblood marriageable witches. If Mrs. Malfoy realizes their real intentions, she does not show. She smiles when Narcissa greets her. They seem to have the same preference towards tea too, one and half spoons of sugar, no milk. Sometimes Lucius would also be there. Of course he would not sit with them. When he goes out with his friends and passes by the sitting room, he would spear them a look. One side of his lips curl into a classic Malfoy style smirk. How strange, at those moments, girls' hair or dresses suddenly demand extra attention. Even the air smells funny and they laugh sweeter.
However, she does not think she's the type of girl he likes. She has seen him with girls in school. Girlfriends or not, they are all beauties. Although he does not seem to be stick with a certain type of girl—black hair or blond hair; green eyes or blue eyes; fifth year to seventh year, every one of them is mature and sensual. They have the body she has dreamt of but never has. While her sisters keep tell her that no men do not love sensual bodies, she has been certain that there must be some exceptions, only she could not help but feel disappointed that Lucius Malfoy seems to be not one of them.
They go to Mrs. Malfoy's tea party so frequently that they almost have their fixed spot. However, one Wednesday, when she was delayed, Beatrice spontaneously sits on her seat. That day, the noisy Rowle girl finds a single daffodil wrapped with a ribbon. One of the house elves says that it sees the young Malfoy master put it there. She guesses the Rowel girl does fit Lucius's taste. And she must been mistaken when she feels Lucius looking at her, somehow confused, and gingerly, as if unsure, continues the conservation with Beatrice, which starts with the flower he had given her. It is only natural then that they start going out.
That's why she's surprised when Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy come and visit their house to see her and discuss the wedding arrangements with her parents.
This question occupies her mind the whole wedding day. In the darkness of their chamber, when she lies on her back and looks up at the high ceiling, his breath close to her ear, she asked, cautiously and in a whisper,
"I thought you were with Beatrice Rowle."
She regrets that immediately, could not believe what a perfect time she has chosen to bring up this topic. There is a pause. In the dark she could not see his face and is too nervous to feel if he's actually staring at her.
"Go to sleep."
He says finally and rolls closer to pull her into his arms.
†††
She will soon be abandoned, for a wife who can not give birth to a heir is worthless.
She has married into the Malfoy family for six years. During this endless period she has never been pregnant, not even once. She didn't think it would be a problem when she was newly wedded. She was still young and she loves children. She had only worried if her first born would be a girl. Her mother had told her what life has been when, one after another, she had given birth to three girls.
The Malfoy family has been nice enough. After the first half year, when there's no news about her belly, they did not say anything but only urges her to eat more and said that she would need a healthier body to be a mother. Lucius also attends to her more often. They were fine before, and she felt happy. But after they were inquired by some elderlies about why she hasn't been with baby even after a whole year, they started trying even when he was too tired to do anything. There came nothing.
There came nothing and she finds herself trapped with nightmares. She checks her pregnancy every two weeks, both before and after the date she would be extremely anxious. She worries whether she would have some good news this time. She worries if she had done the test wrong and had accidentally missed her pregnancy all the time. In the end, her stomach still remains flat.
She knew what other people call her behind her back. One of the girls, she does not know hew name, who should be in her early twenties, sneered at her and called her barren. Her heart shattered into pieces at that word.
She had hidden in her room for the rest of that day and night. Sitting besides her bed, face buried in her hands, she cried. She cried for how the girls word has hurt her; she cries for even though she absolutely hates that she can not deny it was true; she cried for the baby she had been craved for so long but never came; she cries for her husband, who she is fond of and chose to marry her but could not get what he deserves.
She made the decision that night, when all the light diminished with all her hope, she determined that she would be the one who talks to Lucius and ask for a divorce. She would never admit aloud but he is such a lovely man and deserve better.
By the time Lucius got home she had run her farewell silently hundreds of times. Her eyes red and swollen. She hopes he would not mind. Only he was too tired to even notice. He walks in the candle-lighted room and asks before she can say a word,
"What are you doing there Cissy? It's well-past mid night. Please go to bed."
He does not wait for her reply but goes to his side go the bed. He falls into sleep as soon as his head touches the pillow. She climbs into the bed next to his and looks at him, trying to memorize his face. She combs his soft hair with her fingers and decided she would have to find another chance to tell him.
The upcoming months had been busy. Then there is the family reunion when Lucius has to be at home. She plans on finding him alone and if they can sort things out they can immediately tell his parents about that. She know how the old Malfoys expecting grandchildren.
Obviously someone else is thing about the same thing. She hears another voice when she walks to Lucius's study. It's Mr. Malfoy. She could not help but stands beside the door and listens. Her father in law sound impatient,
"Why are you being so stubborn? Do you actually understand how importance a heir is to our family?"
"Yes, I do, father."
"Then why don't you do as I say. I'm not even forcing you to divorce her. I can take a step back. You have a son of your own and as long as she accepts the child as hers—"
"Father!" Lucius snarls, "I fully understand your desperate of having a heir, but I took an oath and I wholeheartedly intend to keep it."
She does not realize the wetness of her checks until her eyesight becomes blurry. Lucius does not mention anything about his conservation with his dad and she only hugs him more tightly during the night.
†††
It is the eve of the final battle, under the night sky of their garden, they sit besides each other on the bench, that he tells her the past things. He has lost his wand and looks helplessly hopeless. He grabs her hand and leans on her shoulder. Besides her ear he whispers to her the first night he saw her, the night she was introduced to him by Slughorn as another new girl, and the night when he encountered her frustratingly trying to find her robe. He told her she had looked peaceful. She laughed-what a word to describe a fifteen-year-old girl! But he insists, that she gave him the feeling of safety, that she does not mean to ask him for something and it is fine to stay by her side.
"You looked like an angel." He then says, his eyes on the far away stars, "I had dreams about you, the fallen angel, who comes to rescue me."
"You does not need rescue." She laughs.
"Oh, only if you know." He snorts, his thumb touches her knuckles in a distracting circle.
"How did you find my robe though?" She asks, that's one of the questions she never figure out.
"Isn't that easy enough? Your small trick of flower?" He turns his head and looks at her.
"Indeed." She agrees and nuzzles closer.
"Speaking of flower, why did you change your seat that day?"
"Change my seat? What are you talking about?" She is confused.
He released her hand and sits straight, "The day when I give you the daffodil. Why was the Rowle girl who got the flower?"
She is amused at his annoyance, "I was late and she took the freedom to take my seat."
"You can't simply image what nightmare that woman caused me."
"And there, we all thought you two will soon be engaged."
"Why, Mrs. Malfoy, is that you want to see me with another woman?" He's challenging her now.
She laughs and shake her head, "Wouldn't dream of it." She pauses then says, "But she does have three boys, you know." She added cautiously.
"Draco is perfect. Plus, I won't have anyone else be the mother of my son. You know that, do you Cissy?" He grumbles and looks into her eyes, demanding a confirmation.
"I know." She signs and out tucks her head under his chin. "And I though you would never tell me all these."
She feels him smile above her, "Of course I will. It wasn't the right time."
"I love you."
"And I you."