I'd have never thought that I'd see America point a gun to his head. The young lad's misery has gotten the best of him but he'll be so disappointed with the results. I watched as he stared into the fireplace, appearing entranced by the crackling firewood and jumping sparks. This scene would have been one of relaxation as the boy wrapped himself with the uplifting heat. In the grips of winter anyone in this area would love to have the luxury of a comfortable night stay at this cabin. Thankfully the flurrying snow covered up the sounds of my footsteps or else I would have interrupted America's deep thoughts. I did not want to change one bit of the scene playing in front of me. Not the small quiver of his right hand that held the trigger. Not the maddening silence of the room. Not the silver bullets that were certainly residing in the barrel. Everything in that moment had to continue naturally, as if I weren't there. The young boy had to discover and learn for himself; he had to understand fully what he was. He could not escape immortality, which was the most absurdly unnatural part of his natural existence. Humans received a blessing labeled "death" when they are relieved of the stressful lives they've led. Countries, on the other hand, have a duty to carry out, regardless of how painful it becomes. For me, the suicidal thoughts were at their peak during the Hundred Years War. The scars on my neck and wrists have long since faded over the years. As far as I know this will be the first time America will try to kill himself, much like how curiosity killed the cat. However, in this case specifically, the feline will not die. Ever. Watching him, makes me nervous... or anxious...or maybe irresponsible. I don't quite know what my emotions are right now but I do understand his. The civil war is ripping his soul apart right now. "Brother against brother" there's no way a nation can handle that kind of emotional pain after he and his people have fought so hard to establish this country in the first place. I remember the war like yesterday, I'm surprised he hasn't tried this stunt then. Perhaps the addictive effects of "justice" and "liberty" have finally left his system and his head has been ripped out from the clouds. But aside from the emotional pain, I also know too well about the physical pain. It's rare for a nation to feel a sensation because they are involved in a war. But when the battle is domestic and your own people are fighting one another our system collapses. It is the most god-awful feeling in the world. Your body is fighting against itself causing simultaneous pain all throughout the body. Nausea, headaches, inflammation, vomiting, stomach pains, coughing up blood. These are some of the few symptoms that come and go interchangeably and randomly as the war rages on. But seeing how he is sitting so calmly this is not one of his bad days. He still must be suffering from a huge mental toll though. Whatever is going on in the boy's head now must be so large he compares himself to Atlas. But these thoughts drain out as quickly as they flooded in when I see his index finger twitch. A moment's hesitation. A peaking silence. An audible micro-sigh. A bang. A thump. An exhale. The last action belonged to me, I didn't want to steal this moment away from America. This is one of the greatest lessons he will ever learn.
Without eating any time, the countdown begins. In five minutes his heart will start beating. Two minutes later his breathing returns, though small and weak. In fourteen minutes his dream, or nightmare, will end abruptly. And in one minute his eyelids will flash open. In seconds the reality will crash into him and the rest will be unpredictable. I suppose that's when I can make my appearance known by sitting beside him and patiently waiting to gently take care of him. He'll need a caring touch from someone close to him. A shoulder to cry on. A chest to beat. Someone to share this moment with, what most of the older countries wished for back then, including me. Once again, this will be one of the greatest lessons he'll learn but it will also be a reminder for me. We are bound to this earth until our capital falls, land stolen, and people broken. Don't worry young one, you will not lose any of these in this war. But never forget this is our fate as nations.
A/N Hello everyone! This is my first published attempt at a series and I'm very excited, I hope you are too. I wanted to try a new style of writing and break my boundaries, so I came up with this piece. As for updates I'm not so sure how frequent they will be. Sorry! Also, as of now none of the updates I have in mind are going to connect with each other. Don't forget to leave a review or message me about any of your opinions. I'm open to all of them so please let me know! Thanks!
