Doctor Who and all related characters and places are owned by the BBC - I just make them dance for my own amusement.

Well, here we are. My first full-length Vastra & Jenny fic - and probably the first of many. This opener is just a taster, so you'll have to wait for Chapter Two for the actual plot to kick off.

~xxx~

It was always the sounds that reminded a person they were in London.

Many larger cities looked similar; smelled similar. But only in London was there such a cacophony of mingled voices, the likes of which were simply beyond compare. In the year of 1889, Lucy Carmichael found herself completely unable to escape the din that emanated from all but the city's outskirts. It had been two years since her family had relocated from Scotland, her father hoping to turn a profit from his skills as a blacksmith. At first, all had seemed well. Greatly so, in fact. But before the year was out, hard times had befallen them and their dream of social mobility was shattered, left to die in the filthy streets alongside those of so many others.

These days, Lucy worked in the market. Her mother baked as many loafs of bread as their small kitchen would allow, and Lucy sold them for the smallest of profits. By now, any illusions of the city's grandeur had been totally wiped away. It was cold, dark, and thoroughly unpleasant. Great chimneys rose in the distance, dark columns of smoke and soot erupting into the sky, endlessly blanketing the streets below. The Thames ran through London like an open wound, reeking of filth, disease and death. Before London, Lucy had never seen a dead body – now she didn't even give them a second look. Corpses littered the dark alleys, and more often than not, stayed there for several weeks before the stench became too unbearable for even the roughest men, and they were finally carted away to an undignified grave.

And that was before one factored in the abundance of street gangs, whorehouses, and parentless delinquents that would steal from you easier than breathing. Lucy knew the entire city wasn't like this; knew that for some, life was idyllic. But what did it matter to her? Why did a poor girl from Glasgow care that others better off than her were enjoying the city's finest, when all that surrounded her was corruption, obscenity and death?

It was a cold evening in January. Thick snow blanketed the rooftops, creating something of a picturesque sight – at least if one looked upwards. For the streets, however, were filled with a disgusting mix of mud, waste, and what had once been a similar powdery coating to that on the roofing. Now, it was just a brown, half-frozen mush, just as likely to entrap your feet as it was to slip you up. Lucy was on her way home, an empty basket over her arm. It wasn't even that late in the day, but the early Winter sunset meant that already, the only source of light was from gaslamps along her path. She smiled as a gentleman doffed his hat as he passed; poor she may be, but she had long since learnt how to present herself as above her station. Heading away from the market square, Lucy headed down a narrow alleyway. Suddenly surrounded by tall, crooked buildings, everything seemed a great deal darker. But she knew the route home; knew which areas to avoid and bypass.

Lucy paused when she heard a shout. Echoing around her, she had no idea if it had come from ahead or behind. She remained still for a moment, but when she was met with only the wind whistling down the alley, she brushed it off as a boisterous urchin.

She continued on her way, tightening the shawl around her shoulders; Christmas may have been and gone, but the weather was only getting colder. Ahead of her, the alley led to a large courtyard belonging to a local pub. Strictly speaking, it wasn't a public pathway, but Lucy was known to the barman, and he knew she was only passing through. She imagined the area would be pure white – no one would have been eating outside in this weather. Expecting to see nothing but undisturbed snow, Lucy was in for something of a shock.

Sailing towards her, twirling through the air and glinting in the dim light, was a bronze helmet.

Not exactly what she had expected to see, Lucy recoiled from the incoming object. It landed at her feet with a metallic thud, coming to rest and staring up at her.

Mouth hanging open, Lucy slowly looked back up in the direction the helmet had come from, and if she had been shocked before, nothing could have prepared her for what she now saw.

Far from deserted, the courtyard was full of activity. Six or seven men, dressed head to toe in bronze armour, were standing in a loose circle, facing inwards. They were all of equal height and build; even their stances were identical. But the circle wasn't complete; there was a gap, and to Lucy's horror she saw that one of the men was collapsed in a heap, with nothing above his shoulders but more snow.

She glanced down at the helmet once more, and only then did Lucy realise – it was no helmet: it was a head.

A bronze, rivet-covered head.

Neither the head, nor the body from which it came, had shed any blood. Pooling beneath the helmet was a black substance, slowly oozing from multiple severed tubes beneath the jaw. Oil. And from the body itself, short bursts of steam were emanating from the neck, as well as a great deal more oil. These men could not be men, Lucy thought. They were mechanical; machines. Oil and steam for blood; burnished bronze for skin. Realisation setting in, Lucy would likely have fainted on the spot, had it not been for what she saw next.

The metal men weren't just standing in a circle - they were surrounding something. That something turned out to be two women, standing back to back. The nearest was shorter, wearing a simple black dress. Her hair was up in a tight bun, with a few strands having broken free and falling back down over her face. The other woman…

Well, for a start, the other woman had no hair. And a far as Lucy could tell, nor did she have any skin. Where flesh should have been, instead there was nothing but shiny green scales. For a moment, Lucy thought she might have been mistaken, but looking the figure up and down again she was sure it, whatever it was, was female. Atop her green head was a tall crest – it would have given her an almost regal appearance, if it weren't for the horrific nature of her scales. But then Lucy noticed the green woman's attire – she was well-dressed. Unable to comprehend everything her eyes were telling her, Lucy completely failed to notice that the other, human-looking woman, was staring right at her.

"Ma'am," she said, cocking her head towards the green woman, who too turned to look at Lucy, standing there, motionless.

And the moment she did, one of the metal men moved forwards. It raised an arm, hand outstretched. The green woman turned back towards it, and moments before the hand made contact, it simply wasn't there anymore. The entire forearm hit the snow, the stump from which it came spewing forth a jet of steam as the man recoiled. He let out no exclamation; no sound that would indicate he had just lost an arm.

Only then did Lucy notice something that had completely passed her by. So distracted by the women themselves, she had completely failed to notice what they were carrying.

Swords.

In unison, the two women raised them, and then, faster than anyone Lucy had ever seen before, they darted forwards. The green woman struck first, decapitating the already armless man. Like the one at Lucy's feet, his head flew into the air, propelled upwards by a great jet of steam and oil from the man's neck. His body fell backwards, crashing into the ground with a loud bang. The shorter woman met her target with equal fervour, swinging her blade clean through it's stomach. At first, nothing happened. But as it attempted to step towards her, it's entire body buckled, torso falling clean off, landing atop it's collapsed legs. Again, there was a flurry of steam from their wounds, continuing long after they had fallen.

As the green woman dispatched another of their attackers, a third approached from the side. This time, it managed to reach her, grabbing her upper arm with it's metallic hand. She struggled, but without taking her hands off her sword, she was helpless. It stood still for a moment, and then to Lucy's horror, it spoke.

"You are not like us," it said in a deep voice, grating as though the very metal itself was speaking. "Reptilian physiology incompatible. You will be taken for study."

But before either could act, the other woman was hurtling towards them. "Get your filthy 'ands off 'er!" she shouted, jumping right at the metal man, spinning in the air and cleaving it's head in two. Instantly, it released the green woman, collapsing back into a twitching mess.

"You alright?" the shorter woman asked, receiving a nod in reply. Lucy wasn't sure if the green woman could even talk. But they had little time to talk, as the remaining metal men were advancing. Their movements were slow and heavy, each footstep echoing around the courtyard. Lucy briefly wondered just how the women's swords were capable of cutting through solid bronze, but was distracted as the fight resumed.

The green woman stepped gracefully around one of the men, smashing the hilt of her sword into his head. As he recoiled, she twirled the sword in her hand, before driving it straight through his chest. As she withdrew it, steam shot forth and she kicked the man away from her, pausing only for a moment to watch him fall. Across from her, the normal-looking woman was facing down two of their attackers. One of them moved first, reaching for her with a cold hand. But she was far too fast, parrying his attack and shoving the arm aside. The other man made a similar move, but was met with the woman's blade running clean through it's shoulder. With her weapon still embedded within the man, she gave a great heave, and send him crashing into his comrade. The two of them toppled over, and before they could right themselves, both were swiftly decapitated.

Another of the metal men approached from behind, grabbing the young woman by the neck before she could retaliate.

"You are compatible," it said. The woman's sword fell from her hand as she brought them both up in an attempt to remove the tightening grip. "You will become like us."

"Jenny!" the green woman shouted, kicking another of the men to the ground before moving towards her struggling companion. Lucy blinked, surprised that even from that one word, it was clear that the scaly creature spoke with a cultured, refined voice.

The captive woman – Jenny – grit her teeth as she struggled for breath. The green woman barrelled straight into the metal man, forcing him to release Jenny as he attempted in vain to defend himself. Moments later, he was pinned to the ground by the woman's sword. But rather than finish him off, she left him there, rushing to Jenny's side. The young woman had landed on her feet, rubbing at her neck and taking several deep breaths.

"Let me see," the green woman said, reaching up and pulling the other woman's hands away.

"I'm fine," Jenny replied, but allowed herself to be examined all the same. The green woman peered closely at the skin, tilting her scaly head to the side.

"And you are lucky to be so," she said. "It would appear their new bodies are still incapable of delivering electrical attacks."

"You what?" Jenny asked, sounding surprised. "You didn't tell me they could do that!"

"Well, I didn't want to worry you," the green woman said, flashing a brief smile. Lucy was almost surprised to see that her teeth appeared human – she had expected them to be sharp and pointy. The green woman pulled away and straightened up. "Now then…"

She turned back to the metal man still impaled upon her sword. Only now did Lucy notice that he was the only one left. Around the two women, the scattered remains of the mechanical men lay motionless. Some felled by single wounds, others missing entire limbs. Some were still spurting small jets of steam, but only that last one was moving of his own accord.

"How many more?" the green woman asked calmly, looking down at him. His bronze head turned upwards to look at her.

"We will rebuild," he said in that same emotionless voice. "We will rise again and convert this planet."

"Perhaps you didn't hear me," the green woman said, crouching beside him. Only now did Lucy see that the sword wound appeared to have had more effect than simply pinning him to the ground – his hands were twitching uselessly at his sides. "Last we met, we destroyed your conversion factory. How many more Cybermen survived?"

"You are of unknown evolutionary design," the man went on, his grating voice becoming somewhat quieter. "Explain your presence on the human world."

"I think you'll find it's as much my world as it is theirs," she replied, before standing again and placing a hand atop the hilt of her sword. "And if you have little else to tell us, I think it's time I rid it of you."

With that, she placed both hands around her sword, and twisted. The metal man convulsed for a moment, before letting out a final guttural groan, and falling silent. The sword was withdrawn, swiftly slid back into a scabbard at the woman's waist. Jenny reached for her own, doing the same. The two women shared another smile, before both turned to face Lucy.

Subjected to such an onslaught of impossible sights, Lucy had almost forgotten that she was actually there. This had to be some sort of dream, didn't it? Perhaps she had slipped on the ice; or maybe never even made it out of bed that morning. Maybe this was all merely a figment of her imagination, brought on by lack of sleep and the cold weather. But as the two women approached, and Lucy felt her senses fully returning, she started to think more and more that this was indeed reality.

But just as the green woman opened her mouth to speak, there were hurried footsteps echoing down the alleyway behind Lucy. She turned in fright, waiting to see what fresh horror would greet her. But rather than another creature that surely belonged in children's nightmares alongside the scaly woman and the metal men, Lucy instead found herself face to face with a police officer.

"Ah," the green woman said, a smile in her voice. "Benton."

"Madame Vastra," the officer greeted, pausing for a moment to catch his breath. Lucy saw from his epaulette that he was only a constable. "Inspector Abberline is on his way. I'm sorry, I…" He took another deep breath. "They left before we knew you were involved. They'll be here soon."

"I see," replied the green woman – Madame Vastra, had he called her? "Your timing, as always, is fortuitous."

"Much obliged," Constable Benton said with a nod. Vastra narrowed her eyes.

"Though if Abberline is yet to arrive, just how did you know exactly where we would be?"

"Because I led him," a new voice answered. Constable Benton stepped to one side, and Lucy's mind felt an almost smug satisfaction that her prediction of more abominable creatures had been correct. Approaching down the alleyway was a squat, bald-headed creature – Lucy hesitated to call him a man. Though, like Vastra, he had two arms, two legs, and a head, he looked like no person she had ever seen before. His large, domed head was wide and brown, and his build was that of a man who had been squashed downwards and stretched sidewards. He spoke with a surprisingly polite tone, though it seemed just as alien to him as it did to Lucy.

"You took your time," Jenny said, quirking an eyebrow.

"I would have been here sooner, but-" He stopped, turning and looking to face Lucy. "Who's he?" Vastra raised what would have been an eyebrow, had she any hair to speak of. "…she?"

"I was about to ask that very same question," Vastra said, stepping a little closer. Lucy wanted to back away, but with the potato-headed man behind her, she had nowhere to go. Apparently sensing her discomfort, Vastra's expression became somewhat kinder. "You are not in any danger."

"What were those things?" Lucy blurted out. It was one of the many questions flying around her head, and it seemed rather more polite than 'what are you?'

"Cybermen," Vastra replied, as though such a thing was common knowledge. "Mechanical beings from a planet once part of our solar system, before the moon's gravity shifted it's orbit and sent it hurtling off into space."

"That don't mean a thing to me," Lucy replied. "What are they? How do they move?"

Vastra sighed. "It depends entirely on which method is used. These particular Cybermen appropriate the brains of humans or near-humans and, after stripping away all emotions, essentially use it as a computer to-"

"Per'aps you should give 'er the short version," Jenny offered, noticing the blank stare upon Lucy's face. Vastra sighed again and shook her head.

"Metal men from outer space," she said flatly, before turning to Jenny and giving the fakest of smiles. "Will that do? Or should I simplify their appropriation of Victorian technology as well?"

"If I might interrupt," Constable Benton cut in, looking somewhat confused himself. "The Inspector will be here any minute."

"Of course," Vastra replied, turning back to Lucy. "Suffice it to say, they are no longer a threat to you or your kind." She turned on her heel and moved away, back into the midst of the fallen Cybermen. Jenny followed, muttering under her breath.

"You don't have to be so rude all the time," she hissed, earning a glare from her companion.

"It is hardly my fault that you are the only human on this planet that isn't an incompetent," the green woman snapped, not even bothering to keep her voice down.

"You'll have to forgive Madame Vastra," Constable Benton said with a smile. "She sometimes forgets that not everyone knows as much about these things as she does."

"And you do?" Lucy asked incredulously. "Constable, what is she?"

"The Great Detective," he replied simply. "Far as I'm concerned, that's all that matters."

"But…but she's…" Lucy trailed off, shaking her head. Something told her she was never going to get her questions answered.

"Strax?" Vastra called. "We need you."

"Coming, ma'am," the potato-headed man replied, squeezing past Lucy and joining the other two. Lucy watched in utter bewilderment as he pulled something from under his cloak; he held it like a rifle, but it resembled no weapon she had ever seen. Moments later, she recoiled in shock as a wide beam of red light emanated from the end of it, directed towards one of the fallen Cybermen. It's body glowed for a moment, before bursting into tiny embers, leaving only a melted patch of snow. Absolutely nothing remained. Strax repeated his actions again and again, wiping each and every Cyberman from existence. His task completed, the courtyard had very little snow left, but also no sign that anything unusual had ever taken place there.

Vastra returned to the edge of the alleyway, reach down and retrieving the Cyberman head still sat at Lucy's feet. She held it with both hands, staring at the blank, bronze face for a moment.

"You've seen them before?" Lucy found herself asking, looking from the head to Vastra.

"A fair few times," the green woman replied quietly. "Among many other things you likely wouldn't believe." She finally turned to Lucy, and smiled. "I know my appearance likely alarms you. Fear of the unknown is nothing to be ashamed of."

With that, she stuck a gloved hand into the head, and pulled. Something hit the ground with a squelch, and Lucy found herself suddenly wishing she hadn't looked down. Cogs, cables, and – as Vastra had indeed inferred – a human brain. Though, Lucy admitted to herself, human remains were not as shocking as everything else she had seen that evening. Vastra pulled a few more bits and pieces from within the head, leaving it as nothing but an empty helmet, before motioning for Strax to dispose of what she had retrieved.

"You're keeping that thing?" Lucy asked, nodding at the head. Vastra was now holding it by one of the 'handle-bar' protrusions.

"Evidence," Jenny said.

"A trophy," Strax offered, smirking slightly.

Vastra looked down at the head once more. "Perhaps both," she said, giving those empty eyes one last look. "Now then, only one more loose end…"

"Please don't kill me," Lucy said quickly, realisation setting in. Of course she was next – they had removed all evidence of what had happened, but she had seen it all, hadn't she?

"Kill you?" Vastra asked, smiling incredulously. "Now why would we do that?" She turned to Constable Benton. "You will watch over her?"

"Of course," he replied. "Once I've sent the Inspector away."

"Good," Vastra said, continuing to smile. "In that case, I only require one thing of you."

"What's that?" Lucy asked, slightly nervous as the scaly woman approached her.

"Simple," Vastra replied, reaching into her cloak. "Hold this worm."

~xxx~

Head throbbing, Lucy opened her eyes. She was flat on her back, freezing cold, and definitely not in her bed. She had no idea of how she had ended up here, or for that matter, where 'here' was. She frowned, struggling to sit up. Everything was a blur; had she been attacked? Robbed? She winced, limbs stiff as she attempted to move. Looking around, she found it a struggle to recognise anything around her. But as her faculties returned, everything fell back into place.

It was always the sounds that reminded a person they were in London.