I've never met someone like her. Someone who could make my heart ache for her so badly, that I want to punish myself for loving her so much. It took a lot of effort to love her, really, but it was worth of it. Sometimes, I can't understand her. But it's beautiful, really, because you discover new thing about her every day.
"Nate, come on!", she slurred, drunken, on the phone.
"No."
"But, Natie!", I can almost feel her pout on the other side of the phone.
"No, Serena, I'm not making you weed brownies."
"But it's my getting married wish! Can you do it for your old friend?"
"Uhm, there's no such a thing like a getting married wish, I think."
"Natie!"
We first met when we were six. She was in beautiful golden skirt and simple white cotton blouse with a lot of sparkling jewelry. The moment I saw her i fell in love with her long glorious blonde hair. She giggled at some stupid joke I said and hugged me excitedly, claiming that I'm her new best friend, wich Blair didn't take well.
From that moment, she was my support when everybody else were in their own thoughts. She was always there, with her bubbly laugh and assuring words.
She grew up before me. She drank a lot, she went to the wild parties. She was too free, but she seemed happy. I wanted to feel something like that just for once. To do whatever I wanted, thinking: consequences be damned!, once, I told her that. She smiled sadly to me, saying that ignoring consequences won't make them go away.
She had her down spiral, like all of us. Once, I was terrified when we found her body shaking with dry sobs, her hair tangled mess, unable to stand, clutching Chuck's hands violently. So, she was not so happy after all.
We were fifteen, carefree, and drunk. She almost fell from that goddamn bar when I catched her long legs. She hugged me and plop a bottle of champagne, and "toasted" to me because I always catch her when she's falling. And then we kissed because I was in love with that sparkly girl who sent me ten thousand miles in the sky and back.
When she left for boarding school I cracked. My days were gray, without a hint of blue, to say at least.
When she got back, and looked at me with her blue understanding eyes, claiming that she's not back for me, she clashed the skies on me.
Gold. Today, she is wearing gold and white gown.
She is becoming his wife today and I'm happy as long as she's happy. Her tangled hair is in surprisingly neat chignon that reveals her slim arms and decolletage. She still looks like a Greek goddess.
I give her brownies and she winks at me, playfully slapping me on the shoulder.
I will always love this beautiful woman, no matter what, no matter where.