Chapter One: After The Event

"For the past year I've been living in a town that gets a lot of tourists in the summer months, they come and stay for a couple of days, but hey, I'm living here, everyday."-Will Toledo (from the song Vincent).

Her blood was wouldn't come off my hands. It was like it had been drawn on with permanent marker. It seemed like it was starting to stain my hands. Her blood was already all over my shirt and it was already dry. There was no way it was gonna come off now. My breathing hasn't calmed down since the assualt started. I was still breathing heavily and besides the sound of the faucet, it was the only noise in the room.

I suddenly heard yelling from outside the bathroom door. It sounded like a bunch of adults freaking out after finding her unconscious. I started to sob, I knew that I was gonna be in serious trouble once they find me. There was no point in running away or hiding, I know that I'm fucked the minute someone opens that door.

All I wanted to do is break up with her, but no, she had to take it so seriously. I didn't even wanna hurt her, but when she grabbed my shirt, and threatened to beat me up, I just lost it. I didn't wanna hurt her, she didn't deserve that.

I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. It didn't even seem like I was looking at Lincoln Loud anymore. I wasn't looking at the caring brother or the caring friend that would do anything for the people he loves, no, I was looking at a damn monster.

I wanna be Lincoln again, but I can't. No matter how hard I try to be a good person, I end up making things worse for everyone I love and care about. Is it even worth trying anymore? Was I even born to be a caring person? Is it my destiny to be a screw up?

The sound of the bathroom door slowly opening made me stop my internal evaluation. I looked over at the door just in time to see my best friend Clyde Mcbride. He fully entered the room and closed the door. He kept his distance and remained quiet, which was the smartest thing he could do at that moment.

I turned away from him and continued you to stare at myself in the mirror, as if the real Lincoln would appear suddenly. There was nothing but the sound of my breathing in that small room for what felt like hours. Clyde just continued to stare at me, occasionally getting a better look of me to make sure I wasn't crying.

After a while, a finally turned to Clyde and asked, "What are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be out there with them, looking for me?"

"I volunteered to look for you, but I really just wanted to see if you were okay.", Clyde said finally approaching me.

"But now you might get in trouble", I said.

"After all the times you've gotten in trouble for me, I owe you this", he said laying a hand on my arm.

For the first time today, I smiled. I genuinely smiled. Clyde was a true friend,my only true friend, I can't believe he's still on my side after what I just did.

"So", Clyde started, "Do you have a plan to get us out of here? Or are we screwed."

"Oh, we are definitely screwed", I said, "I'm gonna be grounded for life and you might get detention."

"Might?", Clyde chuckled, "I'm absolutely getting detention for talking to you."

"No you're not", I said shaking my head, "Just because I'm getting in trouble doesn't mean you have to suffer as well. I want you to bring me to the office with my hands behind my back."

He opened his mouth to protest, but I wasn't having any of it. "I'm not taking no for an answer man. Just take me to the office so I can receive the punishment I deserve.", I said sternly.

Clyde sighed and gave in, "Whatever you say man."

I put my hands behind my back and Clyde tied them together with string. This was somethings that was often done at my school. Before today, I never understood the point of using the rope, it seemed liked overkill to me, but now I understand why it is used, it's used to protect out of control monsters like me.

As we walked to the door, Clyde said, "You know Lincoln, even after what you just did, I still don't think any less of you. You're still my best friend, and the best guy I know."

I raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Wait, didn't you see what I did out there? I completely destroyed Ronnie Anne. She might be seriously hurt, and you still think I'm the best person you know?"

He didn't change his tone, "I saw what happened out there, and I do want an explimation, but I can see that your not in a good position right now and it would be a bad idea to try and get an explimation out of you now. You need some time to cool down."

I remained silent. I didn't want to tell him that he was wrong and I wasn't the best person he knew, I didn't even wanna call myself a person after what I have done today. Clyde opened the door and we both walked out making our way to the principal's office. There was no in the hallway and I thanked God for that. If there was anyone staring at me, I would've lost my mind again.

Me and Clyde walked to our destination in complete silence. I knew that he wanted to ask me more questions, but he remained silent, I appreciated that. You could feel the tenseness between and cut it with a knife. This hurts. Clyde has always been a person I could talk to, but I couldn't even talk to him about the thing that's been eating me alive the most.

Eventually, Clyde and I made it to the principal's office, and I got a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew what was going to happen to me, hell, maybe something even worse would happen. I guess I deserved it whatever's gonna happen.

Clyde undid the string and said, "Good luck buddy, I'll see you later."

I nodded at him and approached the door to the office. I hesitated at first, but I realized that I was just post-poning my faith, so I manned up and entered the room. When I was in the room I heard the sound of Ronnie Anne crying and I felt a bunch of eyes on me.

I was a coward. I didn't wanna look up and face whoever was in that room with me, but I had no choice. "Look up", I heard the voice of Principal Huggins say.

I looked up and he was giving me a stern look that even the most well behaved students have become accustomed to. He got down on one knee so he and I were at eye level, "You know why you're here Lincoln. I've heard Ronnie Anne's side of the story, it's only fair that I hear yours."

Author's Note: I'm gonna end it there. Don't worry, the next chapter and the chapters that follow will be much longer than this one.