Gluttony Goes to the Amusement Park
Gluttony, the happy and carefree sprite, skipped and bounded as he ran to the Ferris wheel. He could hardly contain his excitement and a wide grin shown on his round, pudgy face. His voluptuous, fat body recoiled off the ground with each leap, in a display of magnificence that couldn't be found on any human. He knew how to undulate in such ways that always made Lust stare.
He would wait patiently in line. Finally, when it was his turn, Gluttony stuffed himself into a car with a nice family. His large body filled every corner in the car, his fat becoming one with the parents and children with whom his ride was shared. The wheel began to turn. He was so pressed up against the cage on all sides that he couldn't help but be annoyed by the others. They were like little tacks in his otherwise perfect blubber. His brain devised a solution.
Gluttony tried to squeeze out of the car when it came to a stop, his squishy chin dripping with the remains of his meal. If he… could just… get out! Oh no. Eating those children had somehow made him put on some unexpected weight. He was past the perfect threshold for attractive fatness. In the distance, Lust sauntered over and laughed from over the railing. He was a failure. Tears welled in Gluttony's beady eyes. Never again would he be the talk of secret government laboratories. Lust turned away, locking arms with a slightly thinner, yet infinitely more attractive, version of Gluttony. It was Envy, stealing away what little was left of Gluttony's former beauty. What mockery!
Gluttony was wrought with sorrow. He started to wail, but nobody recognized his cries. Everywhere, other patrons only stuck their noses high into the air with an air of arrogance at the sight of him. There was only one thing left to do. Gluttony pushed with all he had until he finally escaped his damnable prison. He took a blubbery leg with his massive hands and stuffed it into his mouth. With the other leg, he did the same. He'd miss his little brown trousers. He shoved his entire body into his mouth, one inch at a time. He tasted like mayonnaise. Soon, there was nothing left.
ΔΔΔ
Lust never told her children the story of their true father. She had been carrying a child at the time, and, after her split with Gluttony, hadn't the nerve to inform Envy of the child's true parentage. The little one's dashing mix of attractiveness and roundness was evidence enough.