AN: Mercymia gave me some inspiration! This is an AU fic based on my 'Samcedes Song Shuffle' drabble 14. Main pairings: Samcedes, Bartie and Finntana. Lesser pairings: Klaine and Quick. (I would also like to state that I have nothing against Brittana, but I suck at writing them. Like they say, write what you're good at!) Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I have nothing against anyone from West Virginia!
OMG- Chapter 1
"Hey Baltimore, it's been real, but that's our time! This is MJ and S. Lo signing out! Remember, don't do anything we wouldn't this weekend!"
Mercedes Jones of the MJ and S. Lo show, took off her headphones and sighed. "Thank God it's the weekend," she said, running her fingers through her hair.
"What do you have planned?" S. Lo, or Santana Lopez, inquired, stretching as they got up and left the room.
"Nothing probably. What about you?" Mercedes smiled and waved at their manager, Will.
"Gonna go club hopping with Brittany. Wanna go?" The two girls stopped at their office and grabbed their things before stepping out into the Baltimore sunshine.
"It all depends."
"On what?"
"Terrell...and how he takes this breakup he's about to go through. I saw him making out with some heifer at Ruth's Chris the other day."
Santana gaped. "No you didn't! Yeah, he needs to go." the two women reached their cars and paused before entering them.
"Yeah. He's coming over tonight, so depending on how long it takes, I might go out tonight, I might not."
Santana nodded. "A word of advice, mami. My abuela always said that the quickest way to get over a man was to get under a new one."
Mercedes chuckled drily. "I'll remember that. I'll call you. Bye."
"Bye."
Mercedes hopped in her Chevrolet Impala and headed home. She had a nice two story condo just outside of the city. Terrell wasn't due to come over until seven, so Mercedes cooked herself some dinner and watched a movie while she waited. At about eight thirty, she heard Terrell walk through the door.
"Baby? Where you at?"
"Living room." Mercedes watched impassively as Terrell's six foot two inch frame emerged from the hall. When they had first met, she thought he was gorgeous, a dead ringer for Morris Chestnut. Now, all she saw was a worthless, cheating bastard. He leaned to kiss her, and she held up her hand to stave it off. "We need to talk."
"Okay...What's up, baby?"
"Who was that girl I saw you with at Ruth's Chris on Wednesday?"
Terrell blinked rapidly. "What are you talking about?"
"I saw you. With some random skeezer. At Ruth's Chris. On Wednesday."
Terrell shook his head. "Naw baby, it's not like that. She's my cousin."
Mercedes gave him her patented 'you are so dumb, you are really dumb, for real' look. "Oh, so tongue kissing your cousin is what's good? I wasn't aware you were from West Virginia."
"Baby don't be like that...come on, that wasn't me."
Mercedes snickered. "Oh? Just a minute ago she was your cousin. Now you're telling me you weren't even there?"
"You know you're the only woman for me, Keisha."
Mercedes blinked. "Keisha? Oh hell no."
"Baby I'm sorry, I just-"
Mercedes rubbed the bridge of her nose. "You know what, Terrell, just give me the key, and get out."
"Baby, come on. I promise I won't do it again."
Mercedes snorted. "You've been saying that for months. I'm done. Get out of my house."
"Whatever. You were a lousy lay anyway." He threw the key at her and stalked out of the house, slamming the door behind him as he did so.
"Please. Your dick was so small you could barely find it to start with," she muttered, glaring at the closed door. She gave a deep sigh, and grabbed her phone.
"What's up, MJ?"
"Hey, San, get your freakum dress out. We're partying tonight."
"I'm guessing he took it well?"
"I'll tell you and Brit all about it over drinks at Mist tonight. I'll text my cousin to put us on the VIP list. We need to look right tonight."
"I'll call Brit and we'll be at your house by ten thirty. We'll head out from there."
"Oh, we're taking a cab. We're celebrating the end of an era tonight."
Santana giggled. "See you then, mami."
Mercedes hung up the phone and headed for her bathroom. She threw out all the scents that Terrell stated that he liked on her, and pulled out her originals and favorites: Beyoncé's Heat Gold perfume set, and her Bath and Body Works Dark Kiss collection. She gathered up the Heat Gold body wash and hopped into the shower. When she was finished, she headed over to her closet, where she rummaged around in the back of it before pulling out the necessary items. She pulled out her underclothes and put them on before putting on some cocoa butter and hunting out the perfect pair of shoes. She dressed, and proceeded to apply some sexy makeup and plug up her hair straightener. She was just putting the finishing touches on her hair when the doorbell rang.
"Hot damn. You look good," Santana said bluntly, giving Mercedes a long look. She was wearing a knee length little black dress with a black and purple corset over her waist. It lifted up her breasts and gave her a killer hourglass shape. She had a pair of impossibly high black heels on, and her hair tumbled over her shoulders in loose curls.
"So do y'all." Santana preened a little in her gold halter top and chocolate brown miniskirt. She accessorized with matching peep toe shoes and bone straight hair. Brittany had chosen to wear a sapphire blue one shoulder dress that had cutouts on the sides exposing her killer obliques. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, and she wore white open toed stilettos.
"Well, let's go! The cab is waiting." The trio of beauties stepped into their cab and gave the driver the club's address.
"So, Brit, how's work? Kids driven you crazy yet?"
Brittany was a dance teacher at a very exclusive school, and she laughed. "It's never the kids. It's usually the parents."
Mercedes chuckled. "That's what you get, teaching at such an uppity school."
Santana waved her hand. "Enough pleasantries. What happened?"
Mercedes gave them a rundown, and both girls hissed sympathetically. "What a douche nozzle," Brittany said, shaking her head.
Santana shrugged. "Fuck him. We can find you a new boo tonight."
Mercedes wrinkled her nose. "I'm not sure if I want one."
"Trust me, if his dick was as small as you say, you want one," Santana said confidently.
Brittany's ocean blue eyes were wide. "Was it?" She burst into laughter as Mercedes held up her pinky finger.
"And the sad part is, I'm not even playing."
"Okay, so Operation: Get Mercy Some Good Dick is a go!" Santana said firmly.
"Do you have to call it that? Girl, you are so nasty sometimes!" Mercedes shook her head fondly.
"Um, excuse me, but I refrained from asking if he was at least good at eating pussy," Santana said huffily.
Brittany and Mercedes cracked up. The cab pulled up in front of the club, and the girls got out, tipping him well. They sauntered past the long line, Mercedes stopping briefly to kiss the bouncer on the cheek. "Hey Jason."
"Hey Mercy. You girls have fun tonight. Let me know if you need anything."
"We will!"
Mercedes led the girls to a hostess, who showed them to a table. "Your waitress is Melanie, and she'll be with you shortly."
Mercedes scanned the club, picking out a few familiar faces. She saw several of her coworkers: Puck, the Saturday morning host, and his girlfriend Quinn; and the entertainment reporter Kurt, and his husband Blaine. She waved at the assorted people before turning to the waitress who had magically appeared.
"First round's on me, ladies!" Santana volunteered. "We'll have a raspberry Jolly Rancher, a Bacardi and Coke, and a 151 and Dr. Pepper."
Mercedes shook her head after the waitress left. "You only did that because you know we'll end up finding guys to pay for our drinks."
Santana nodded. "Yeah, I know."
"What I don't know is how you manage to drink that stuff," Brittany spoke up.
"What, 151? It's not that bad." Santana shrugged.
"It tastes like fire and brimstone," Mercedes said flatly. Their drinks arrived, and Santana took a long sip of her Dr. Pepper infused 'fire and brimstone'.
"Yummy, fire and brimstone."
Brittany sipped her Jolly Rancher and giggled. "You're a brave, brave woman."
"She smokes cigars...she's used to tasting fire and brimstone."
Brittany started to giggle, but stopped, a quizzical expression on her face. "Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Mercedes asked.
"The DJ is giving you a shout out."
Mercedes tilted her head. She could hear her cousin shout over the mic, "Big ups to my baby cuz MJ! She's in the house with her girl S. Lo! Buy 'em a few drinks!"
The trio of girls lifted their glasses in a salute to the DJ. "Well, sounds like he's playing our song," Santana said, draining her glass.
"I don't feel like going onto the dance floor just yet," Brittany said with a small frown.
"Then we'll dance up here," Mercedes said decisively.
Sometime during their dancing, Santana noticed something. Smiling, she leaned forward towards Mercedes. "Girl, there is this fine ass white boy checking out your goodies!"
"San, are you drunk?"
"No, she's serious. Don't turn around just yet," Brittany said, eyes flickering over Mercedes' right shoulder. Mercedes continued dancing, and squealed as Santana spun her around and began dancing against her back.
"He's over there...see him?" Santana used the opportunity to lean against Mercedes and whisper in her ear.
Mercedes was suitably impressed. "Oh my God...he is delicious."
"And apparently he thinks you are too. I say you really give him something to drool over." Santana said, long black hair tickling Mercedes' bare shoulder. "Go ask him to dance, we'll play wing-woman with his friends.
Brittany giggled, and leaned in to whisper in Mercedes' other ear. "Bet you can't make him freak out while you're dancing."
Mercedes finished off her rum and Coke. "Watch me."
The trio strode over to where the blonde and his friends were gathered. Mercedes grabbed his hand and led him onto the dance floor. She went to work, and she could dimly hear the hoots and hollers of Brittany and Santana. She wound her fingers into Mystery Man's hair and tugged lightly, earning a soft, "God..." from him.
"Nah, just Mercedes." She pulled back enough to wink at him.
"I'm Sam, and I'm buying your drinks tonight."
"Oh really?"
"Yes really. I think your friends are already taken care of."
Mercedes peeped over his shoulder, and saw Brittany and Santana with fresh drinks in their hands. Santana was quickly approaching tipsy, the downside to her favorite drink, and it showed in the way she ran bold hands up her chosen victim's chest. "Looks like you're right."
"So, what are you drinking, Mercedes?"
"Bacardi and Coke."
"Do you want to come with me, or do you want to stay here?"
Mercedes shrugged. "I can walk over there with you." She followed Sam to the bar, where he ordered her drink, and a vanilla Stoli and Coke for himself. "Is that any good?"
Sam held out his cup. "Try it."
Mercedes did, and was pleasantly surprised. "Tastes like a vanilla Coke."
"Exactly. So, this is gonna sound weird, but I'd love to call you sometime. Ya know, if you're available and you're interested."
Mercedes quirked an eyebrow. "Sure."
Sam whipped out his phone. "What's your number?"
Mercedes proceeded to give him her number, then squeaked as someone stole up behind her and swept her into a bear hug. "Hey lil cuz!"
"Do you have to manhandle me every time you see me?" She chided, turning around to hug him properly.
"Who's your friend, Short Stuff?" DJ Rambo asked, shooting Sam a curious look.
"Sam, this is my cousin, DJ Rambo. Ronnie, this is my new friend Sam."
The two shook hands, before the DJ took the water the bartender handed him. "I just wanted to come say hey. See you at church Sunday, right?"
"Yeah, dinner at...Aunt Julie's place after, right?"
"Yeah. See you then." He kissed her forehead and disappeared into the crowd.
"That's pretty cool, your cousin being the DJ and all."
"Yeah, he's a great DJ, so me and the girls come here more than any other place in the city. What about you? Come here a lot?"
"No. Actually, this is my first time here. My boy Artie wanted us to come."
"Which one's Artie?"
"The one talking to your blonde friend. Finn is the one making out with the Hispanic girl."
Mercedes jerked her head around. Santana was indeed sucking face with Sam's friend Finn. She shook her head. "She loves 151, but it gets her lit. Oh, that's Santana and the blonde is Brittany."
"She drinks 151? Does she even have a liver?"
"Nobody is sure by this point," Mercedes said drily. "I will say that's the first time I've seen her make out with a dude she hasn't met before."
"Finn too. He just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago. So, I don't suppose you'd be open to another dance?"
Mercedes gave him a smile. "Sure."
They danced exclusively with each other the whole night, while keeping an eye on the aggressive Santana and slightly tipsy Finn. Finn pulled Sam and Artie to the side. "I think I'm going home with her."
Artie gave him a fist pound. "That's what I'm talkin about!"
Sam was less enthused. "Are you sure? I mean, don't girls always leave a place together?"
"She's talking to her friends now." Sam looked past Finn to where the trio of beauties were talking.
"Are you sure about this, man? I mean, you barely know her."
Finn rolled his eyes. "I'll be fine, Mom."
Santana ambled up just then, grabbing Finn's hand. "I'm horny, let's go."
Artie shot Finn a thumb's up as he was dragged from the club. Mercedes and Brittany approached them. "We're gonna head out too," Mercedes said, staring up into Sam's eyes.
"Okay. We'll walk you to your car."
"We took a cab, it's no worries."
"We'll still walk you out," Artie insisted. The quartet left the club, and Mercedes and Brittany found themselves a cab.
"So...I'll call you?" Sam asked.
"Are you asking me, or telling me?" Mercedes inquired.
"Telling you. Maybe we could grab something to eat sometime soon."
Mercedes smiled. "I'd like that."
"Great, well, um, I'll talk to you soon." He smiled at Brittany. "It was nice meeting you."
Brittany beamed. "You too. Bye Artie. Call me!" The two women got into their cab and left.
Artie watched the cab go. "That was a very profitable night."