YOU'VE MADE ME ALL I EVER WANTED TO BE.
She sat on the grass. It was a great and beautiful day. It was a day filled with lots of promise. It was a year. A year since the incident occurred. A year since he did something so remarkable and heroic. A year since he earned her trust, her love and her understanding. She leaned forward and rested the flowers. It was his anniversary. One year. One year since he died heroic. A year since he passed trying his best to earn her.
She inched back after laying the flowers on his tomb. The epitaph read
Johnathon Jacob.
Loving husband and friend.
1974-2011.
She sat staring. She knew she should leave. She knew it would be the most she could do for him. She hoped it was a dream. She hoped that he did save her but didn't get punished for his good deed. Anger swelled in her. She punched the ground. Her hand puncturing the grass firm grasp of the earth. She dug her hands deep into the soft, cool, muddy dirt. She sighed at the feeling of the coolness the earth gave her hands and fist. She sat there, in that position for a long time. The wind blew. She closed her eyes. She took a deep breath in of the fresh air. She swayed side to side to a rhythm only her ears could hear. She swayed as if she was drifting away. Drifting away into another world. A world where he did save her. A world where she did have a future. A world where she could be rescued and be set free from everything. Everything troubling. Everything stupid and all the other worldly problems.
Her hand moved to her neck. She gently caressed the small of her neck. A very intimate gesture. As if she can feel his lips against it. As if the tingles of his closeness ran through her a million times. As if she felt nervous every time he made a move. She swayed gently side to side, caressing her neck and moving her hand through her hair. She felt the closeness greater and greater. She was remembering. For the first time, she remembered the feel of him. The way he romanced her. The way he made her feel. The way he made everything perfect. She felt the sweet, gentle kiss against her neck. She felt as his hands moved slowly and in perfect timing, across her waist. She, in turn, moved her hands around his neck. She saw his hands grasp her firmer but not too firm. It was like he held her, never wanting to let go. She felt his hands easily and quietly move up her lower back. She felt the tingles and the electrical pulses that were traveling as he allowed his hands move up and down her back. She felt nervous. He made her feel special and nervous and everything felt perfect and correct. She felt her hands leave his neck and carefully she hugged him across his waist and smoothly, she moved her hands up his back. As she did that, his shirt moved upwards till he pulled it off his head. She saw his beautiful body. She moved her hands towards his stomach, feeling the lovely handles he had and slowly she moved her hands across to his abs. Ahhhh! She gasped. Feeling the tight muscles he had. He had everything she dreamt of. Still in their embrace he tilted his head upwards and kissed her on her lips. Their sync was remarkable and their bliss was beautiful. She let him remove her top. Their embrace tightened. He sooner or later moved his hands downward. She, in turn, did the same. Afterwards, their bliss continued. Soon they were lying down on the cloth spread straight across the grass with a blanket covering them. He held her closely, gently caressing her forehead as she thought about the wonderful bliss they had just experienced. He twisted in such an angelic way and held her hand.
He took a grave look at her and he said, " I've come to say goodbye Sarah."
She looked at him, still dreamy and dazzled at the experience they just endured. He looked at her much more sternly and sadder than ever. It hurt him gravely. To come and for once and for all tell her goodbye. She saw the hurt in his eyes and couldn't help feeling angry at the world. Angry at God. Angry at everyone. She took her hand and reached out to touch his face. As her hand approached his face and touched it, her hand went through. It destroyed the image of him as if it was in a puddle of water. It rippled his image away.
Soon she was in the alley. She had never forgotten this night. She would never forget this night. This was the night that took everything away from her. This night took her life, her future, her greatest moments and moments to come. She was reliving the moment. She saw everything as it had happened that night. She was lost in the alley. She saw the drunken truck men pull up down the street and walked in. She saw them approaching her. All five of them. Drunken like fishes, they edged toward her, falling and toppling down, inching towards her. She felt the fright, the fear of what they would do her, the pain she felt for what was to come. She felt everything she felt when it occurred. She heard the siren. She saw when her husband came out of the car. She saw him draw his firearm. She saw his determination to save her. She saw him in uniform, trying to save her, trying to gain her back. He was trying his best to get her away safely.
Then she saw the dramatic change of events. She saw the men turn around seeing him. She watched as she saw it all over again. She saw the guys punch and kick and abuse him physically. She saw his helplessness. She saw his determination to fight yet he wasn't a match for them. She witnessed the next few minutes where they beat him till he wasn't moving. Then she saw them run down the alley, falling and tumbling as they went. Fear of fright. She knelt near him, hearing his shallow breathing. She knew he wouldn't make it. She knew he was on the verge of his last breath. He dared to open his eyes. She sat on the ground caressing his forehead. Speaking soothing words, he turned to her, even though it cost pain.
He looked at her and said with the last breath he ever take in this lifetime, " I love you and I have tried my best to win your heart. Here's a note I wrote to give you on our first date as an engaged couple."
He reached into his pocket and gave her it. As he released it in her hand, his hand dropped instantly. His eyes showed no life and his head fell back. She touched his cheek and again, her hand went straight through.
It transported her back to the blissful evening. The one where they had touched and felt each other. She was sitting down on the grass with a blanket around her. She looked at the side and saw his face. His body was wrapped in this white blanket. He looked angelic and beautiful in so many ways. He sat next to her and pulled out a piece of paper. It was the same one he'd given her that night when he died.
She instantly opened her eyes. She looked at the tombstone and tears welling in her eyes. This time she let them out. She embraced her loss. She embraced the fact of their problems. She cried for his death. She cried for her selfishness. She cried for her impossible future. She sat and cried unto the grave. Her pursue fell back as she inched forward. When it fell, it revealed the note he gave her. She hadn't opened it since then. Now on their one year anniversary of his death, she finally had the courage to open the letter and read what he had given her. She opened it was surprising she found a poem. A poem with the deepest words she had ever seen. She cried as she read it aloud.
A glimpse was all it took,
I loved you all my life,
You were the apple of my eye,
A beacon of hope,
Of betterment,
Of bliss,
Of happiness,
Beyond the horizons,
I'll always be,
Because there is where I've seen our harmony.
I see our love,
I see you,
I see us
Together
Untied
Forever
United in all aspects
And
Most of all
I see you and a great, independent person
I hope you'll love
No matter what happens
Because
No matter where you go
No matter where I go
I would always be looking on.
I'll be right here
I'll be the wingsman at your right hand side
I'll be the god-given well-wisher
God made me,
And you were the best thing that ever happened to me.
I'll always be there,
I'll always be a part of you
I'll be with you
Beside you
And in you
And I hope that beyond this
You can forgive me
Forgive for my mishaps
Forgive me for being ridiculous
And insensitive
I hope you have everything you'd like,
And somehow
Someday
Somewhere
I'd see you
And finally be able to have a great life with you.
Because you're a great person.
You're a person who inspires me to be me.
Because that was all I had always wanted to be.
She sat reading the poem over and over. She looked up at the sky and in her pain and anguish, she yelled straight out at the heavens above, "WHY ME!"
THE END.
Inspiration –Selena Gomez: LOVE YOU LIKE A LOVE SONG.