Author: Renegade Phoenix
E-Mail: renegadephoenix@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Shounen Ai, language, dark Heero thoughts (but when does he really think anything else?)
Pairing(s): 1x2
Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing I tell you!! The song belongs to Stabbing Westward, a band I highly recommend.
Author's Notes: Okay, it's another one of my Gundam Wing songfics in the Stabbing Westward arc. If you can, listen to this song while you're reading, like the previous one, it sets a tone.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Torn Apart I know I should have told youBut I was so afraid you'd leave
No matter what you believe now Duo, I did love you. I still do.
I just couldn't say it. It may sound clichéd but I was afraid that if you knew the depth of my feelings for you I would scare you off.
How could someone like you, love someone like me? It was to good to be true and in the end it was. I couldn't stand it if you left me, so I left you. And I'm going to punish you for it.
And now there's nothing left to say
Well nothing that you'd believe
I never meant to hurt you with
The things I couldn't say
I could try and tell you how I still feel and how I felt back then but I doubt that you'd believe me anymore after all that has happened. After all the beatings, the snide remarks, and all the insults I'm surprised you can even stand to be near me anymore even for a mission.
I'm a fucking idiot, though. I know that now. I knew that you cared for me, possibly even felt love for me, but I just continued to let you think that I was using you for release; that you were my own personal whore.
I was wrong and now both of us are paying for my mistakes.
I promise you tomorrow while
Denying you today
Someday we'll be together again, Duo. I'll make up for all the wrongs that I have done to you with my callous treatment then and now.
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
My lies then and now have torn you apart.
My lies have torn me apart.
My lies have torn my world apart.
A darkness grows inside me
In fading shades of grey
All the colors of the world are slowly sucked away
My life is so bleak without you to cheer it up. I never truly realized what it is that you did to keep me from falling even further into depression that I already was.
The color in my life that I have now finally come to appreciate is fading from my eyes as I fall deeper into my own darkness.
I was such a fool.
I'm sinking ever deeper
To a place that's cold and black
I can't believe I've lost you and you're never coming back
This can't be true.
Oh, Gods, it feels like I'm in quicksand. It keeps getting worse and worse.
I've truly lost you. You told me yourself today that you're no longer going to take anymore shit from me. That you couldn't believe that you had once loved someone so cold-hearted like myself.
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
Torn my world apart
God I hope what you're saying is a lie. I need you to love me. I need to know that no matter what I do to you I have a chance to get you back.
You've torn my world apart.
Soon the night will take me
And save me from my pain
Cloak me in cold darkness
And help me lose your name
I think I'm just going to keep my mind focused on the mission until things change between us again. Maybe if I keep focused on that instead of the troubles between us I will be able to survive and perhaps forget about us for a while.
I need to forget.
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
Torn my world apart
Torn my world apart
Torn my world apart