"What's up sissy boy?" the whisper in his ear made him jump, slightly "exactly how I expected, scared and queer as always" he bite his lower lip, Anthony Hopkins was bigger than him and stronger than him, he was the captain of the hockey team, it was not a good idea to say something to insult him. "Now, go and sit somewhere else, you're infecting the air near me."
"I got here first" the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.
"Move, Anderson" Anthony said, crunching his knuckles, the black haired boy took a deep breath.
"No" he said, looking into Hopkins's eyes "I sat here first."
"I'm warning you fag, move or I'll move you" but Blaine didn't move "you fucking queer, I told you to move!" the bigger boy yelled, everyone in the cafeteria look at them "I want this table for me and the team, move your sissy ass out of that chair!"
"Look for another table, I got here first" Blaine said, he was surprised of his attitude as much as the hockey player.
"I warned you fagot" he growl, he took the red tray in which Blaine lunch was and throw it right into his clothes, some people off the cafeteria laugh, the others ignored them. "Are you going to fuck up now?" Blaine looked at his clothes, they were completely ruined; he could never get the 'special sauce' out of them.
"I told you I got here first, look for another place, asshole "
"How did you call me?" Blaine swallowed; he couldn't believe he has just said that out loud "I asked you something"
"I said, look for another table, asshole" Blaine repeated, his hands shake a little, but he managed to control them.
"Yeah, that's what I thought" Blaine had no time to react, Anthony's fist hit him right into his face, he fell down the chair, hitting his head with the floor "you fucking faggot, how dare you to insult me you piece of shit"
Blain felt dizzy, his face hurt. He got up the floor just to see the whole hockey team had gather around him, Anthony had a smile in his face, a malicious smile. The boy looked around, there were no teachers near and the people in the cafeteria wouldn't help him, he knew that.
"Know you're not that brave, are you queer?" Anthony said; Blaine didn´t answered "let me teach you how to respect your superiors" the bigger boy throw his fist against Blaine, but this time the boy avoided it. Anthony got even more furious and with his friends help they trapped the boy.
"Hey! Get off me!" he shouted, trying to get rid of the players grip, but he was shorter and weaker than them, so he couldn't so he was dragged outside the cafeteria, nobody moved, it was like if nothing had happened there, they just let it slide.
"You should know this freak, we don't like you…" Anthony whispered pushing Blaine into the lockers "we don't wanna see you around, so keep your weirdness away" the hockey player opened a locker and put Blaine in it "have fun fagot!" Anthony said and before Blaine could stop him he shot the locker.
"Get me outta here!" the black haired boy yelled, hitting the locker's door "open the door!" the tears fill his eyes , he couldn't believe he was trapped in a locker, just because he defend himself from a bully, it just wasn't fair.
Why couldn't he be himself without being bullied? Why did he need to hide just because he was afraid someone would punch his face? Why did he have to deal with all the insults? What was so wrong about him? Was it so bad to be gay?
The tears fell through his cheeks, the sobs escaped from his lips as he punched the locker's door desperately, but no one helped him, because they didn't care, they didn't give a damn about the bullies, no one cared about the homophobia in the school, no one…
Blaine stopped hitting the locker and started crying in silence, covering his mouth with his hand to kept the sobs from been heard, he wanted to stay there forever, at least in that locker he would be save, no bullies, no insults, no pain, no fear.
Hey, slow it down whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah I'm afraid, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
He started singing to himself, searching for some kind of comfort , the comfort no one gave him, the comfort no one cared giving him, cause no one knew what it felt like to be alone, to be bothered for who they were.
There might have been a time
when I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn
but now, here we are so whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
He sang in almost a whisper, the tears kept falling down his cheeks. There was a time, when he had just come out of the closet that he would gave himself away, feeling free for first time because he could be himself. Once he didn't care if the hockey players calling him horrible names, but now it hurt so much.
Just don't give up I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
His voice sounded broken as he sang to himself in the darkness of the locker, he could feel the tears falling, he wanted to stopped them but he couldn't. He took a deep breath, swallowed, and then he continued to sing:
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
He sobbed, whipping the tears away, he needed to calm down. He had to stay strong.
Yeah, it's plain to see
that baby you're beautiful
and there's nothing wrong with you
He was beautiful, he was. He had always felt good in his own skin that was something he'd like about himself; he was one in the group of teenagers that felt right.
It's me, I'm a freak
but thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly
But still he felt so bad, all those nasty words had broken into him, making a part of him believe he was weird, he was a monster. And again the other part yelled at him that all those horrible things people said weren't true.
There might have been a time
when I would let you slip away
I wouldn't even try
but I think you could save my life
Blaine hold on to that feeling, he wasn't wrong, he was not a freak, he wouldn't let himself went into a deep depression just because some assholes were bulling him, he needed to save himself from the pain, because he was the only person he could count on.
Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
He was alone and he had to get used to that, he couldn't give up. He had to stay strong, he had to prove every one that he felt right, that he was who he was and that was just fine.
Just keep comin around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
But what would he do? How could he stop the pain and the fear? How was he supposed to manage all this shit?
Just don't give up on me
I won't let you down
No, I won't let you down
He would talk, he would talk to the school board, then they would do something to stop the bullies, he would walk through this with the school board, they would care, they should care.
Just don't give up
I'm workin it out
Please don't give in,
I won't let you down
It messed me up
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
No, he wouldn't give up, he wouldn't he would be brave, he would have courage. Blaine breathe, courage yeah, that was going to be his new dogma, his new lifestyle.
Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
whataya want from me
whataya want from me
He sang the last lines putting his heart on them, he made the promise of moving on, to make anything he needed to do to feel good, to be comfortable. He started punching the door again and again, he had to get out.
"Hey! Open the door!" he shouted "Get me out of here!" he kept hitting the cold door of the locker, pushing it with his shoulder, kicking it, punching it, trying to get out of that damn locker, he looked at his watch, he had been trapped for half an hour.
"Wait a second buddy, I'll get you out" said a voice outside the locker, he recognize it as the janitor, an old man with grey hair and mustache "Just a second" Blaine waited, then the door opened the light hurt his eyes after all the time in the dark locker.
"Thanks…" he said with a little smile in his face
"Welcome…hey kiddo, if I might ask why you were in there?"
"A bully, he wanted me to move, but I got the table first" Blaine explained, he sighed "then the stupid hockey team locked me in there" he said, passing his hand through his curly hair
"You stand up to that big guy?" the janitor looked at him with surprise "That takes a lot of courage, but, little dude, don't get confused there's a thin line between courage and stupidity, remember that."