-1I
guarantee quality. Just looking at it, you KNOW that everything
here-in will be absolute quality entertainment from first page to
last.
That's how you KNOW that what I post will be completely
worth it, and never ever B
Grade...
F-- Grade crap.
Bearing that in mind...
Ah, what joy comes
from literature.
More joy still from the Great word "Penis".
Children's novels, such as Harry Potter and the Chamber of
Secrets have very little use of that Magnificent word.
Now take
into account the heavily used phallic motif in Harry Potter. The ever
popular "Wand".
Now imagine... If one was to take a
Wand heavy scene, such as say... A duelling club, or an Ollivanders
scene, and replace the word "Wand" with "Penis",
what pure linguistic genius one could create.
"Now
Harry," Said Lockhart, "When Draco points his Penis at you,
you do this."
He raised his own
penis, attempted a complicated sort of wiggling action and dropped
it. Snape smirked as Lockhart quickly picked it up, saying,
"Whoops-- my penis is a little over excited."
Snape moved closer to Malfoy, bent down and whispered something in
his ear. Malfoy smirked too. Harry looked nervously up at
Lockhart and said, "Professor, could you show me that blocking
thing again?"
"Scared?" Muttered
Malfoy, so that Lockhart couldn't hear him.
"You wish," Said Harry out of the corner of his mouth.
Lockhart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder. "Just do what I
did, Harry!"
"What, drop my
penis?"
But Lockhart wasn't listening.
Malfoy raised his penis quickly and bellowed,
"Serpensortia!"
The end of his penis
exploded. Harry watched, aghast.