A/U: Where Oikawa goes to Shiratorizawa and much is left unsaid.

There wasn't much Iwazumi regretted. He stared up at the sky, and his whisper barely could be heard over the gentle roar of the stars.

"If only I had told you that I loved you too."

Then, footsteps came up behind him. "Hajime? You didn't have to stop and wait for us, you know."

Iwazumi forced a smile, and turned to face the rest of the Aobajōsai. If only I had told you to stay. "Hey, Takahiro. You guys are slow."

"Not our fault, captain. The first years bought veggie buns instead of meat buns so we had to go back." Issei replied, tossing a bun at Iwazumi. "They went home, since they all live in the other direction."

"Oh, okay." Iwazumi took a big bite and burned his tongue. He spit it out. If only I had kissed you back.

"What's up? You've been acting weird since our match with Shiratorizawa. C'mon cheer up. We held our ground against the demon duo; Ushijima and Oikawa!" Takahiro smiled, but Iwazumi saw that both his friends had red eyes from crying. It was their last game. They wouldn't be able to play anymore. For some reason—no, for a very specific reason—Iwazumi wasn't as upset about the game as they were. After all, he had started volleyball because Oikawa loved it so much. And so he came to love it too. If only you were with me instead of him, these past three years.

"But it really shocked me, you know? To find out that the top two players of this prefecture are...you know, gay?" Issei commented. "But it does explain why they are so compatible."

If only I had been nicer. Iwazumi took a bigger bite of the meatbun, and let it burn his mouth this time. When he spoke, his voice was shaky. "Shut up. Can we not talk about Shiratorizawa now?"

"Sorry, sorry...so how did you guys do on your exams?"

"All above 95%" Iwazumi replied shortly. If only I had done better, I could've gone with you.

"Damn...Hajime you've stepped up your game since first year." Takahiro laughed, but Iwazumi could sense that his vice-captain knew that something was wrong. "Say...isn't Oikawa your childhood best friend or something?"

If only you hadn't been the only one who tried. He sighed, knowing that Takahiro wouldn't drop the matter. "Yes. But Tooru and I aren't close anymore. We barely talk."

"But...Hajime, you just called him...Tooru." Issei said cautiously.

He stopped abruptly. "I'm home. See you guys tomorrow. Sorry."

"Wait, Hajime-" Issei began, but Takahiro held him back.

"No, its alright."

If only I didn't love you. If only you didn't love me. If only you knew I loved you.

If only you never stopped loving me, Tooru.

Iwazumi ran into his room. "Shit, shit, shit..."

He had suppressed it for three years by avoiding Oikawa. He had blanked when Oikawa told him that he would choose Shiratorizawa. He had said terrible things. He did terrible things. And those words or actions weren't like the daily exchanges between the two. Those words that day were meant to hurt Oikawa. And he knew it. They both did.

"I don't need you. Go to Shiratorizawa. Go to Ushijima. I don't love you. You are pathetic."

Why had he said what he did? Iwazumi wiped tears from his face, and checked his phone. Two missed texts from Oikawa.

Hey. Sorry about today.

Your team played well.

Iwazumi hesitated. His fingers were shaking as he typed his response.

It was your victory.

Congratulations, on that. Ushijima seems to really treat you well. I'm sorry for not being able to be like him. You deserve him.

It took ten minutes for Oikawa to respond.

Thanks. And its okay, Iwa-chan.

Iwazumi began typing again.

Then he deleted it, and set his phone to one side. Iwazumi stared out the window, and let the gentle but deafening roar of the night sky drown out the sound of his grief.

"I still love you. I always have."

If only you still did too.

A/N: Fuck why am I torturing myself like this? Want a follow up? Happy ending? (PLEASE say you want a happy ending I am dying to do one I can't stand my precious children all angsty)

Also am I procrastinating my Kuroko no Basuke gag series? Well...kind of. I'm not entirely sure how to write some of the other minor characters, so I'm researching/reading the series trying to grasp their personalities. Sorry, this may take a while, but bear with me!

As always, feedback is much appreciated!