Chapter 1

The Mad Hatteress

The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. "Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?" he asked.
"Begin at the beginning," the King said gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."

-Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

There were many things she hated. Perfume, classical music, handsy men, yippy dogs, cats of any kind, flowers, bluebirds- the list went on and on until the end of time.

But, without a doubt, Pia's least favorite thing was about herself.

That she was short.

It had always bugged her that she wasn't able to see over the heads of others, that she had to wear sky-high heels in order to be seen by cars when she crossed the street, that people thought she was fifteen when in reality she would be twenty four next fall. And it certainly didn't make her job easy.

God. My work is my life.

It was. There was the sad truth of it. Everything Pia did, walking outside on a nice day, going to the cinema, shopping for underwear, all of it attributed to her constant vigilance of being a… echem. Bounty hunter.

Even now. Today was the sunniest it had been for weeks of overcast skies and miserable weather. Children were running through the park with kites and splashing around in the public pools, their parents spread out under a tree, gossiping rapidly to one another. It was a sight that made people smile and think of the nearing summer.

But not Pia. She was on her way to a job. It was something her father had requested, after all, as a personal favor. And regardless of the fantastic weather, there was no way Pia would pass up the opportunity to gain some leeway from her father.

Her drop-off site was about two blocks farther down Pikinston Avenue. She opted to walk as opposed to grabbing a cab, because it really wasn't that far to walk and she wanted to enjoy a bit of sun on her pale skin before going back into her sunless den for another two weeks.

The sun was shining, a gentle breeze lifted her raging red hair off her shoulders slightly, and her four-inch, black Neiman Marcus wedges clomped satisfyingly on the concrete sidewalk. Dressed as a civilian in a floaty white dress and cropped jean jacket, she felt almost normal.

Almost.

There was still the ticking in the back of her head. That calculating, serial-killer mindset that she'd never be rid of. The innocent dunces that passed by, they were all so fat and happy and easy to leaf through, like their minds were all pamphlets and she could easily reach in and access their deepest secrets.

The girl with the long blonde hair, wearing the spotted red-and-blue tanktop, just getting onto her baby blue moped? Felicity, just turned sixteen by the state of her bike, insecure about her weight. The mousy woman with the barely-there eyes behind her huge, round glasses? Jane, two kids, husband who cheats on her with his secretary, long history of breast cancer. The lanky boy walking his dog? Justin, twelve years old, mild ADHD and ADD.

The short, sullen girl with the vibrant red hair who looked like she'd not eaten in over a year? That was Pia's reflection in a storefront window.

Suddenly, she felt like she stuck out. Her clothes felt too tight, too false, like wearing someone else's identity. Her lies were slowly suffocating her, while she was ultimately torn apart by her aloneness inside.

She was going to explode if she stayed in the open anymore. Walking in public had been a bad idea. Shamed, Pia tucked her head and disappeared into an alleyway. It was a half-an-hour detour to her original meeting place, but too bad. She needed to sort out herself before dealing with her never ending occupation.

For all she made fun of the regular people, it drove Pia nuts that she couldn't be normal. Just for one day. She could run around with a friend, or friends, or maybe even a boyfriend. Get married one day and have lots of annoying little kids that grew up normal, normal as could be, and had their own annoying kids for her to spoil. She'd spoil them rotten, the little bastards, until her kids wouldn't let her anymore. She'd walk places all the time and enjoy the sun like everyone else, and slowly grow old. And then, one day, she'd die quietly in her bed. Peacefully. And that would be the end.

Instead she had to 'carry the family torch' and 'follow in Papa's footsteps' like a good little girl. Yeah. Like she had much of a choice. Pia was a hardwired criminal mastermind and a mother who had assassinated- whoops, 'hunted down'- more people than she could count. And her father… that was a disaster in itself.

So being normal wasn't really an option- for her or for anyone in her family. With the exception of Todd. How Pia envied her brother. Todd Gregory Hamlet was an IT major with a pretty fiancé named Cindy Hawe from northern Texas. He lived a simple, unproductive life working seven-to-five every day of the week, with his lovely bleached-blonde gal making him chili and cornbread every Tuesday night, and going out to Harvey's Roadside Bar with his buddies every once and awhile. Her brother was fat, ignorant, and hadn't spoken to anyone in the family for almost three years.

Pia hated him sorely.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her angry crimson hair as it battled against the growing breeze. A few strands escaped and she quickly caught them between her pale fingers. A slow grin spread across her face as she marveled at her hair. It was her sign of late teenage rebellion. She'd been born a bodacious blonde like her mother- but the second her mother had let her drive herself, Pia had driven straight to the convenience store and purchased the loudest color of hair dye she could possibly find. She'd dyed it in the back of her car.

She had never seen her mother gape like she had when she'd walked through the door, vibrant crimson hair glinting rebelliously around her shoulders like a bloody kaleidoscope. And never was there a moment more satisfying in Pia's long twenty three-and-a-half years.

"Nice hair."

She was suddenly aware of a man's presence. He was about two yards away, over her left shoulder, and a touch to the left. Based on his voice, he was in his late twenties, maybe a foot taller than her, and ripped. Instinctively, Pia's hand went to her lower back where she kept her gun. But she didn't remove the revolver just yet.

"Thanks. It's natural."

He snorted disbelievingly. "Sure."

Carefully, she turned to the Mystery Man, a look of false indigence on her round face. "Whatever. I don't see how it's any of your business anyways."

She nearly bit her lip when she saw how far she'd been off. He was nearly two feet taller than her, with subtle, lean muscles showing barely through his tan trench coat. He was attractive too- though she didn't appreciate his saggy eyes- seemed to know it, but didn't seem to care. Most disconcertingly, he was two feet away from her.

He seemed to notice she was sizing him up and gave her a bland grin. "Checking me out, are we?"

Anger boiled up inside Pia as she took in his lightly smug expression and his appreciative glance at her flushing cheeks; she nearly shot him then and there.

Looking back, she wished she had.

"Excuse me," Pia ground out icily, fingernails digging into her palms with determination. "But I think I'll just be going now. You're obviously just wasting my time."

Using her fabulous heels to her advantage, she pirouetted gracefully and stormed back towards the busy street. That was, she was headed in that general direction before Mystery Man materialized in front of her.

He didn't seem to move anywhere- he just sort of appeared there. Dark eyes gleaming triumphantly, he smiled blandly down on her.

"I think your engagement can wait."

Pia's hand flashed instantly towards her revolver- but he was startlingly quick. His palm collided with her shoulder, sending her stumbling backward. It was only a tiny stagger, but just enough for Mystery Man to grab her wrist, yank her close, and headlock her. She was too surprised to scream, or move, or do anything. Her instincts were shrieking for her to sink her nails into his neck, but then…

A rag pushed into her mouth. The burning chemical smell filled her nose and lungs with acidity. Everything slowed. Pia let out a muffled whimper.

The last thing she heard was Mystery Man's hushed whisper.

"Too slow."

Gone.