The morning had started so oddly. She woke up to the alarm instead of Hayate licking her feet, trying to wake her up for breakfast time. The unnatural ringing of the bells on her clock jolted her awake in a burst of adrenaline; she stared over at the alarm stupidly for a moment, and then turned it off. Well, maybe Hayate was outside in the backyard. She hoped it wasn't wet out so he wouldn't track mud in.
She yawned as she got up, tying on her robe and headed to the bathroom to shower. By the time she'd gotten out, there was still no excited dog urging her to hurry up and get his breakfast. Odd.
She dressed for the day, twisting her wet hair up into a clip. Still no Hayate. She was starting to grow concerned.
"Here, boy!" she called as she stepped into the kitchen and put the water kettle on the stove to heat. The dog door remained eerily still. So odd. She opened the back door. "Haya-" She cut herself off mid-word, staring in horror at what could only be Hayate caught on the top of the fence by his collar.
"Hayate!" She ran to the fence, narrowly dodging what looked like, at first glance, a rabbit that Hayate must've caught. She frantically grabbed at Hayate's collar, trying to undo it, when she noticed something that made her throat tighten up and her stomach drop into her knees.
That wasn't Hayate's body. That was his pelt.
She screamed, stumbled backwards, tripping over the rabbit's body. She spared it a glance and screamed again, realizing that wasn't a rabbit. That was the rest of Hayate.
Riza had no idea how she managed to pick herself up to her feet and run into the house, where she promptly got sick on the floor by the phone. She heaved again, hot tears running down her cheeks. What kind of psychopath had done that? It was clear it was deliberate, but why? Why? Why her beautiful, obedient little dog? What had he done? He was a good boy, he didn't go into other people's yards, he didn't chase cars, he didn't even bark all that much. He only really went outside to do his business or bury a bone.
"Why? Why?" she demanded of no one, trembling from head to toe. Finally, she got the sense to grab the phone and call Roy. Yes, Roy, her solid ground, he'd be able to make this make sense, be able to help her pick up the pieces.
"Hello?" came his voice from the other end, and she started crying again. "Riza? Is that you? What's going on?"
She sniffed, took a shuddering breath. "I need your help," she said, her voice cracking and barely above a whisper. "Someone- someone's hurt Hayate. I need your help, please." Please make this make sense, please be there.
"I'll be right there, you sit tight." With that, the phone clicked, then went to dead silence as he hung up. She hung up the phone, and had just the presence of mind to get up and clean up her vomit.
It seemed like forever before Roy came bursting in, his military blues suddenly an unwelcome sight. She wanted Roy, not the colonel.
He crouched by her where she sat on the ground, knees curled up to her chest. "Lieutenant? Where's Hayate?"
She lifted an unsteady hand and pointed to the back door. "Someone skinned him, Roy," she whispered. "His pelt's hanging from the fence. The rest of him's on the ground next to it." She put a hand over her mouth, willing back another rise of bile.
Roy stared. "His- they- who did this?"
She shook her head, rubbing one eye and trying not to just cry again. "I don't know. I don't know, I got up and realized he wasn't around and I couldn't find him so I went outside and there he was like that."
She clung to him in relief as he pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Riza," he said quietly. "I'll look into neighborhood attacks on animals, see if I can't track down who did this. I can't promise you anything, but I'll do my best to get him justice."
A sob tore at her. "I just want him back," she whispered.
Roy pet her hair gently. "I know, Riza. And maybe when you're ready, we'll go down to the humane society and get you a new dog. But let's not worry about that right now."
Good. She didn't want to think about another dog in her life. She just wanted her faithful companion back. She hadn't realized how much comfort that little dog had brought her in her too-dull and gray world of boundaries and secrets.
"Would you like the day off?" Roy asked her, drawing her attention back to the present.
She shook her head. "No. I don't want to be here alone right now."
He nodded. "Very well. I'll go take care of the body, you just try to get some food into you and some tea."
The idea of food made her want to puke again, but he was right. She'd need to get through the day somehow, so she made herself some toast and rescued the tea kettle from the gas. Most of the water had evaporated already, but there was enough for her to have a small cup of tea. After setting it down in front of her, she started at it like it was a cobra hissing dangerously at her.
"Riza?"
She jumped at the sound of her name, looked up in wide-eyed shock at Roy. He sighed and sat down next to her. "Come on, I know it must've been horrifying, but you need your food. You'll never make it through the day if you don't."
Licking her lips, she nodded, and carefully picked up a piece of toast. It was dry; she'd forgotten the butter. Oh well, she supposed. She didn't want it either way it went, honestly, but she was eating for him.
After choking down one piece, she looked at him. "What did you do?"
"I buried him," he said. Then he stood. "Actually, I should wash my hands." He went over to her sink while she chewed on her second piece of toast and downed some tea. "I'll take you to work today, Riza," he said, drying his hands and stepping back over to her. "If we're a little late, we can blame it on me." He sat down, watching her chew and swallow painfully. "Are you sure you don't want the day off?"
She nodded numbly. "I don't want to be alone," she whispered.
He put a hand on hers. "All right. Come on, then, let's get going, if you're ready."
Swallowing the last bite of toast, she stood up, putting her dishes in the sink to deal with another time, and followed him out the door.
The day seemed endless. The men in the office were told quietly by Roy what had happened, and all had offered their condolences. They spent the day shooting her worried looks as she caught herself more than once staring blankly at the papers in front of her. She just couldn't get that horrible image out of her head, she couldn't fathom who, or why. Why? Why Hayate? What had he done to deserve that? What had she done to deserve that?
The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. What sort of sick, diseased person did that to an innocent animal? Yes, she'd seen worse done to humans in Ishbal, but to torture and mutilate an animal just required a special level of twisted. She felt the need to hunt down who'd done this and shoot them until her clips were empty.
By the end of the day, she was in an impotent rage. Roy had uncovered nothing about how might've done it; there were no rashes of animal abuse in the area, no reports of anything like what happened to Hayate. Riza began to suspect that whoever had done it had been targeting her specifically. She mentally tried to compile a list of suspects as Roy drove her home.
The only thing she could possibly think of was whoever had been stalking her and making it look like Edward doing it. It was completely insane to think Edward had anything to actually do with it; he wasn't even in East City most of the time those little gifts and warnings had been delivered. He wasn't in East City now, either. The only time she'd really seen it was him doing anything was that time he kissed her, and thinking back now, Edward wasn't actually in East City then, either.
What on earth was going on?
Paranoia had taken a grip on her by the time they got to her house. Someone was stalking her, and had destroyed one of the few good things in her life and left it as a present. Someone who could look like anyone he wanted to. There was no way that was actually Edward, it was impossible.
But someone was able to take his form.
How? How was such a thing possible? It was insanity. Maybe she was just going crazy, the job too much for her, too much hiding, too many masks, too many secrets and she was cracking under the pressure, dreaming up this stalker wholesale.
But if not that, then who had killed Hayate? Roy himself had confirmed it had happened, that wasn't her imagination.
"Are you all right, Lieutenant?"
Roy's voice jolted her out of her thoughts, and she looked up at him, wide-eyed. "Hm? Yes, of course. Why?"
He sighed. "Because we've been at your house for about two minutes now, and you haven't said a word. Are you going to be okay? Do you need me to stay with you?"
How she wanted him to. She wanted the comfort, the protection. If someone really iwas/i after her, who knew what would happen next. But it would be too dangerous for their careers for him to stay. She shook her head. "No, sir, I'll be all right. I was just lost in thought, I'm afraid. I'll see you tomorrow at the office. Thank you for the ride."
She got out of the car, waved once to Roy, who waved back, then put the car in reverse and drove away. Riza sighed, going inside and looking around. No eager puppy waiting for his dinner. A few small chew toys sat in the corner by her favorite chair. The leash hung from the coat rack next to the door. She'd have to donate those things to the local shelter, along with the rest of Hayate's food.
Tears caught her off-guard again and she leaned heavily against the wall, weeping softly. It would take awhile to get used to the loss of her beloved pet, and the reminders of his presence were like kicks to the gut. The terrible scene from that morning assaulted her again and she ran for the bathroom, her body evacuating her lunch. She coughed, gagged, then flushed the toilet, standing up and brushing her teeth to get the nasty taste and feeling out of her mouth.
She looked at herself in the mirror, red eyed and pale. "Come on," she told the woman in the mirror. "You can't fall apart now. Not until you're safe."
Briefly, she considered telling Roy, calling him back and telling him what's been happening, but she couldn't bring herself to. She was supposed to protect him, not the other way around. Besides, he'd never believe her when she told him it looked like Edward doing it, and if not him, then someone who could change himself to look like Edward. Such an idea was ludicrous.
She skipped supper that night and went to bed early, crawling under the covers with a wearied sigh. The morning was going to be strange, too, waking up tho the alarm, and every morning after that until she reluctantly got used to it.
It was several minutes later, after another crying jag, when she heard Roy's voice downstairs. She lifted her head warily, braced to find she was hearing things. His voice came again, calling her name and she sat up. "In here," she called. "Colonel, what is it? What happened?" She swung her feet over the edge of the bed and slid her feet into her slippers. She'd barely stood up when he appeared at her bedroom door. She felt a little exposed, standing there in slippers and a pajama set while he was still in his uniform. "What is it?"
He seemed relieved to see her. "I changed my mind," he said. "I didn't want to leave you alone right now."
She sat back down on the bed. "Oh, Roy," she sobbed. "It's so different without him."
Roy stepped over and sat down next to her, pulling her into an embrace. "It'll get better," he assured her. "Nothing will ever replace him, but you'll get better." He let her cry on his shoulder; every time she thought she was done crying, there were more tears waiting to fall, and she was grateful for his presence, stable and strong.
When she had settled down again, he grabbed her handkerchief from the nightstand and dabbed it at her cheeks and eyes, drying her tears. She gave him a shaky smile meant to reassure him. "Thank you, Roy, I'm okay now, you can go home if you were wanting-"
He cut her off with a kiss, and she remained still a moment, caught off-guard, but then happily returned the kiss, clinging to the companionship and warmth. Only his lips weren't that warm, she noticed, they were chilly, but it was a familiar sensation, so she dismissed it.
They made love all night long, and Riza finally settled into a peaceful sleep.
Riza awoke to the sound of her alarm. Still so odd. But this time she knew why, and with a sigh, she shut off her alarm. Roy had left sometime during the early morning hours, leaving her to get around for the day alone. But his presence had settled her a bit last night, and she felt a little more ready to face a day without Hayate, a little more ready to find out who had been doing this to her, because of it.
Her appetite had started to return, so she once again had some toast- not dry this time- and some tea, then hurried to the office. Once there, she went into Roy's private office. "Sir," she began, her voice hushed in case someone came into the outer office and decided to try to eavesdrop. "Thank you for coming back last night. It helped calm me down immensely."
Roy blinked, looking up at her. "I didn't go back, Lieutenant," he said, and her stomach dropped into her feet as her expression froze. "Lieutenant, what happened? Are you okay?"
She shook her head. "I must've dreamed it, then. I apologize for disturbing you, sir," she said, then turned on her heel and marched out. She went straight to the bathroom and vomited again. Whoever this stalker was that could take Edward's form could now take Roy's form. He could be anyone around her, anyone she trusted, the real people tied up, bound and gagged, or worse, dead.
She went back to the office, shooting glances at her office mates. Any one of them could be her stalker in disguise. She didn't dare tell any of them about it, lest she tip her hand to him. She would not lose to him, oh no, she'd pay him back for all the misery he'd caused her. She felt dirty and used and paranoid beyond all reason. And it was all his fault.
The work day was murder. She felt his eyes on her the whole time. Everything and everyone was suspect. She remembered that hawk that first attacked Hayate. She thought she'd been hearing things in her panic that the hawk had talked, but now she knew better. This person could also take animal forms. So the little bluebird in the window was a suspect. She almost shot it just to make it shut up.
She went home that evening with a hard edge, changing quickly, keeping her holster on over her black turtleneck, and sat that evening at her kitchen table. Waiting. He'd try something, he had to.
But the evening passed slowly and silently. She went to bed, almost disappointed, but no less wary and on guard, and didn't fall asleep until early morning.
She woke to the feeling of a hungry puppy licking her feet. It felt so normal at first that she ignored it, pulled her feet out of reach, then her brain kicked in and she sat bolt right up, lifting the blankets.
Nothing.
Could this person become invisible, too? Goddamnit, how was she supposed to fight this if she couldn't even see the bastard?
Stumbling into the shower, she turned on the hot water, letting it work a small miracle on the knot in her back she'd developed from stress and improper sleep. Before she'd even rinsed the soap out of her hair, she heard the sound a dog barking outside her door. She jumped out of the shower, soap dripping everywhere, and opened the door.
Nothing.
"Damnit!" she screamed, smacking the door frame soundly before going back to the shower to rinse the soap out of her hair. She dressed for the day and sat down at her kitchen table, drinking a mug of tea, just to calm her frazzled nerves.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the dog door flapping, and the very end of a black and white tail disappearing out of it. Outside, she heard Hayate's distinctive bark. She upended her tea in her rush to the door, yanking it open and looking around.
Nothing.
It occurred to her, dimly, that she was possibly just going crazy, maybe even dreaming this all up as she spent the day in a padded cell and a straight jacket. She laughed, completely unhinged, then went back to her seat and stared at the spilled tea for awhile before cleaning it up and going to work.
She couldn't focus on her work. Every sound grated on her tired nerves. Havoc's whistling, papers shuffling, Breda sniffling as he got over a cold, even the sound of Roy cleaning windows in the next room to avoid his work.
Her pen bent under the pressure of her hand squeezing around it. Finally, she snapped. "Colonel, stop procrastinating in there!" she barked, harsher than she ever had before.
Havoc's whistling abruptly stopped, and all three of her office mates stared at her, wide-eyed. Slowly, Roy's office door opened and he peeked out at her, a bit wide-eyed himself. "Lieutenant? Please come in here," he said slowly, like he was handling a ticking bomb.
She set down her bent pen and walked into her office, waiting impatiently as he closed the office door and stepped in front of her. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Lieutenant, are you all right?" he asked quietly.
"Yes, sir," she said, a muscle in her cheek twitching as she ground her teeth together tightly.
He studied her. "No, you're not. I know Hayate's death was hard on you, but you're not acting yourself. I want you to go home and relax for awhile. Take a hot bath and have some tea. Listen to the radio. Just calm down. I always get my work done on time, don't I? There was no cause to snap like that."
"Yes, sir," she agreed, like a good trained soldier, her jaw still clenched hard. He could be her stalker, Roy permanently gone, so she refused to show any of the personal connection she'd had with Roy to this fake who'd already violated her trust once like that.
Roy stared at her a moment longer, then dropped his arms. "Go home, Lieutenant, get some rest."
"Yes, sir," she said again then turned on her heel and marched out. She gathered her things, ignoring the stares of her office mates, and headed home. On her walk home, a dog that looked exactly like Hayate trotted beside her. After several blocks, she lashed out and kicked the dog. "Leave me alone!" she shouted at it. It yelped, then ran off.
Once home, she undressed and curled up in bed, the sheets smooth against her naked skin. Outside, a dog barked, and she put her hands over her ears, sobbing. "Please, leave me alone," she cried. "You've won, just go away."
The dog continued barking.