Logan knelt beside his mom's grave, tears silently sliding down his cheeks. Why did his mom have to die right now? He needed her. Didn't she realize that? Her little Logie needed her. He hated living with his dad, the piece of drunk, sick bastard. He leaned over to look at the stone that marked her grave. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed the tears to stop.

He hated his life. For as long as he could remember, his dad struggled with substance abuse. And child abuse. Logan did his best to hide some of the bruises he'd gotten over the years, and for the most part he did a good job. If there was a day his dad was sober, he must have been asleep for it. It seemed he was always intoxicated, no matter what the hour or day. And he got violent when he was drunk, which is how Logan ended up with lots of bruises to hide. He managed to get to his feet and stumble blindly to his car. He sat behind the steering wheel and took a last look at the grave.

He drove around for a while, trying to delay going home. He didn't exactly plan on going anywhere, but he found himself outside of the local teen hangout, a coffee shop on Main Street. Right now the hockey team was inside, laughing and jumping up on the tables. Logan felt a little out of place. He was by no means a jock, preferring brain to brawn. He gripped the steering wheel tight, debating on whether or not to go in or not. Before he could decide, the team spilled out of the doors. He shrank down in his seat. He noticed the last two boys to come out. One was kind if tall and had brown hair. He racked his brain until a name rose to the surface.

James, he thought. That's who it was. The other boy was shorter James, blonde, with bottle green eyes. He was quite the looker, Logan decided. Another name floated to the surface, and it knocked the breath out of him. Kendall! He shouted at himself. Kendall Knight. All-star hockey player, and honors classes. He matched Logan in brains, and dwarfed him with brawn. He couldn't help but stare at the blonde. Kendall turned his head to Logan's car. Logan blushed right down to his neck and sank lower. That was enough humiliation for one day. He preferred his solitude anyway.

…

"Did you see that guy?" James asked with a laugh. Kendall nodded. He'd noticed the dark-haired boy staring out his car window at them. "I think he was checking you out," James continued, nudging the blonde. Kendall was too deep in thought to notice.

"He seemed upset," he commented to himself. The brunette turned to look at him, quizzical expression on his face. "Didn't you notice the tear streaks on his cheeks? He'd been crying." James huffed out a breath.

"You don't even know this boy Kendall," he said. "Just let it be. He doesn't seem like the one for new friendships." Kendall just looked at the brunette until he practically squirmed. "Look Kendall, I'm being truthful. I wouldn't try to be friends with him. You'd be setting yourself, and him, up for trouble." The blonde scowled at his friend's logic and stared out of the car window. "Let's go to my house, mom won't care if your there," James said just to talk and pass the time. Kendall gave him a tiny nod, and he turned his car in the direction of his house.

"What if I want to try and get him to let his guard down," Kendall pressed, determined not to let the subject drop. James sighed and ran his fingers through his dark brown hair.

"Look Kendall," he said stiffly. "I'm saying this because I care. Don't meddle in his life. It looks like his life is full of trouble. What caused his tear streaks to begin with? You'll only get hurt." Kendall scowled again, and as James pulled into his driveway, he leaned close to the blonde. "And as your secret boyfriend, I'd strongly suggest you stay away from a new flame." He momentarily twined their fingers, then climbed out of the car. Kendall followed him, feeling uneasy.

"It won't be a new flame Jamie," he said. "I just want to help him through whatever he's going through. Something is clearly bothering him, and I don't think it's a one-day thing. Haven't you noticed the bruises on his arms?" James gave it a little thought, and then he nodded. "Something's up, and I want to know what." James came around and circled his arms around Kendall's waist, pulling the blonde close.

"Just be careful okay," he said seriously. Then, in a lighter tone: "And don't go trying to replace me with a boy you don't even know." Kendall gave him his signature sweet smile and kissed him quickly.

"Don't worry James," he said. "No one's replacing you."

…

Logan tiptoed passed his dad's room. He knew not to wake him, if he was even in there. Logan was sure he was. He never left the house, and if he did, it was only to get drunker than he already was. Logan breathed and inaudible sigh of relief when he was safely passed the door. He made his way to his room, wincing when he stepped on a crushed beer can. He heard a grunt from his father's room, then his worst nightmare come to life. His dad emerged, looking vexed.

"What is with all the noise," he shouted. "Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?" He swayed as he talked, and Logan had a feeling he was in there with his friends Samuel Adams and Jack Daniels. He lowered his gaze to the floor.

"Sorry dad," he said quietly, shuffling down the hall. He hadn't gone that far when his dad's hand whipped out and wrapped around his wrist, squeezing hard. Logan sucked in a breath and waited for his dad to speak. But he didn't. He just stared the boy in the eyes until he felt uncomfortable. That was the plan. He never saw the perfectly timed blow aimed at the back of his head. He slumped forward, unable to bear his own wait at the moment. He looked up at his dad through glazed eyes. He gave the boy a slow, almost evil-looking smile He released his son's wrist and let him fall face forward into the hardwood floor. He left the boy there, returning to his 'get together' in his bedroom. With effort, Logan rolled onto his back.

He stared at the ceiling, wishing, not for the first time, his mom hadn't died last month. He squeezed his eyes shut, silently willing the tears to disappear. He missed her terribly. And yet at the same time he felt a burning resentment for her. She left him, literally. She'd walked out on him and her dad since he began drinking frequently. She died shortly after she left. And while Logan was saddened by the news, he was slightly glad. But that didn't mean his life was any easier. His dad had steadily gotten worse, resorting to violence more often. And since he got worse when he was drunk, it bordered on deadly. Some days Logan would gladly welcome death, and almost resorted to it once. His dad stopped him before he could (the only good thing he ever did).

"Why can't I just end it all?" Logan said to himself. "Why won't he end it all? He could. He knows he's more powerful then I am. He would have no problem getting rid of me once and for all. Why doesn't he?" Tears made their way down his cheeks. "This life his so horrible I would welcome death with open arms."

…

"I hope he's okay," Kendall said for perhaps the tenth time in five minutes. James was getting tired of the mention of the boy the saw outside of the coffee shop. He decided to call Kendall out, just a little.

"Do you even know this boy's name?" he asked, and he saw his boyfriend's face fall as he shakes his head. "Then don't worry about him. He isn't your problem. You should worry about here and now, with the person you know." He lied down and gently tugged the blonde on top of him. They were lying on the couch together watching TV. It was something they'd done hundreds of times. But tonight the blonde's heart didn't feel into it.

"I want to find out his name though," he said into the brunette's chest. "There's just something about him that draws me to him. I can't describe it James." The brunette tightened his hold in the blonde. Kendall hated making him feel insecure, but he was telling the truth. He felt drawn to this boy he didn't know.

"You know," James said mildly. "I think I remember seeing him around school. Logan, isn't it? Logan Mitchell?" Kendall shot up so quickly he slid of the brunette's chest and onto the floor.

"That's it!" he exclaimed. "I thought he looked familiar. He's in most of my honors classes. How could I not recognize him? He's super cu…" Kendall cut off quickly, looking embarrassed. "Anyways, I still want to help him." He climbed back onto the brunette's chest. James gave him a quizzical look.

"I figured since you knew his name now you'd lose interest. What makes this so interesting Kendall? I can't explain to you how this seems appealing. To me it seems like a giant waste of time and energy. He's clearly a hopeless case." The blonde felt a bubble of rage boiling in his stomach.

"Don't say that!" he snapped. "Everyone deserves a friend. And he doesn't seem like a hopeless case. He just needs a little help. You'll see."

…

Logan had managed to crawl to the bathroom. He clawed his way up using the sink for balance. He was still a little dizzy from the blow to his head. He grabbed the razor from his perch on the sink. He ran his finger over the sharp edges, imagining the feel of them on the unprotected skin on his wrists. He then set it down, but reluctantly.

"That'll still be getting off lightly," he mumbled. "I don't just need help. I need a miracle." He sank to his knees on the floor. He stared the ceiling numbly. "Death will have to wait another day. I will do it eventually." Then he began screaming, not caring if his dad heard. "Fuck you mom! How could you leave me? How could you leave your little Logan? You knew your husband was no good, right from the start! I hate you! I hate you!" He was sobbing loudly now. In truth, he really didn't. He grabbed the razor again. "How'd you like it if I came to live with you again? How would you feel if I did it?"

He ran the razor horizontally over his wrists, wincing when he felt the skin slice open. He watched the blood pour freely from his new, self-inflicted wounds. He screamed again, this time with no words. Just a long, drawn-out wail. He didn't care if he took his own life that night. He just wanted to be anywhere but there.

…

A/N: Well what do you guys think? Good? Read and review!