It hurt so much. Every time it happened. And it did every full moon.
It was getting close to one. Jorah could feel it in his bones. Changing again to a creature nobody likes and nobody understands. But the part that hurt him at most was watching his beloved Daenerys and not being able to go to her. Because he was a horrific animal and it would be dangerous to being so close. He was of no help to her in the time she needed him at most.
Dany had horrible nightmares since Khal Drogo died. And she relied on Ser Jorah to comfort her at night. It felt wrong and right at the same time. She was way too young to stay alone for the rest of her days, being only 15. But on the other hand, Jorah was her advisor, her one true friend and she couldn't let that friendship to be ruined by lust.
When he stroked her fair hair, she felt not only protected but...loved, and that in the most lustful way. His masculine body was a pillow a girl could only dream about. But once every month he disappeard in the thin air. And that was one of the nights. He never explained it to her.
So there she was, on her own, without her bear to give her love and protection she so longed for. And yet it was never going to be more than that. He could never be hers the way she wanted. To stroke her hair for all iternity. To feel him...oh yes, she wanted Jorah so badly. And to play him until he wanted her, too. To fill the emptiness Drogo left, in all meanings of it.
The first time he stayed over in her tent, she woke up rather afraid of a stranger's hand around her waist. And she thought she felt something. Like something was poking her on her lower back. She didn't know what it was until she turned around.
She blushed and giggled like a girl. Apparently, Ser Jorah had more than one sword with him. She wondered how was he able to ride a horse with...that. Her knight was more than gifted, she had to admit. Lust in her began to rise with every passing second. She kept staring until she realized he's already woken up.
»Khaleesi?« She looked at him, still surprised, happy and astonished at the same time.
»Ser Jorah? Why...how...What are you doing here exactly?« The knight sat up.
»I heard screams from your tent and I came here to comfort you. I didn't mean to stay, my queen.« That's when she noticed the bruises and scratches that weren't there the day before.
»Jorah, what happened to your chest? You're full of bruises and wounds.«
»Oh, that.« He looked down, trying to remember a reasonable explanation. »I had a fight, nothing to worry about, Khaleesi.«
But she didn't buy it.
»They look like wounds caused by some animal.« He sighed.
»No, I assure you. I shouldn't anger a Dothraki and I would've been fine. I'm terribly sorry if I caused you any fear.«
»I'm quite sure you can defend yourself, Ser Jorah. I was just enquiring.« She couldn't help herself but smile. He was still very much in attention down there, and Dany was almost sure he hadn't noticed. But he did notice she was looking at something below his waist. He blushed and looked more ashamed than ever before.
»I do appologize, Khaleesi. I wish I knew how to control myself, but that's the one thing I seem not to be able to figure it out for some reason.« She smiled. Oh, that smile, Jorah thought. He could stare at her until the end of times, but...duty calls. He wanted to stand up and tidy up, but she stopped him.
»Jorah, I appreciate you intervening so I didn't make a fool of myself in front of the entire Khalasar.« Now it was his turn to smile.
»You could never make a fool of yourself, my princess.« His deep blue eyes came closer to Daenerys. Her breathing became faster and not as deep as it was before. She almost closed her eyes. His voice was above attractive. It made her shiver. Goosebumps crossed her skin at the sound of him calling her princess. They were all alone and she could do with him whatever she wanted. It was undeniable he was ready to go where nobody but Drogo went before. And she wanted him to go there so badly.
His manly hands held her by the waist.
»Just tell me, Khaleesi, and I'm all yours. More than I ever was.« But I'll never tell you about the wounds, or I will lose you forever.