The Cry of a Silenced Heart
The Cry of a Silenced Heart
I cautiously stepped into the thicket of the meadow…our meadow. It had been a while. Twigs and lush fern fronds snapped under my polished black shoes as I slowly made my way to the center of the perfectly circular field.
The sun shone down on my glittering skin in weak rays of feeble light. However, somehow it managed to warm me. The new heat reminded me of her. Everything did now, like she's all around me, either trying to comfort or torture me.
My shaking limbs buckled and I sank to my knees with my face turned upwards to the heavens. She would no doubt be watching me now, doing the exact opposite of what she told me to do. Wallow in grief.
I just buried my wife of seventy years. She lost her battle with cancer after two years of fighting. Even at eighty- eight years old, she was still the most beautiful woman I knew. Her warm brown eyes still alive with tenacious youth until the moment she took her last breath. I shuddered in an unnecessary breath of my own and gave in to the sinking pull on my body. I sank the rest of the way to the mossy forest floor, but my soul kept going. Down further and further into the pits of the earth.
My love was finally able to show me the value of my own soul, whereas I believed for over one hundred years that I didn't have one. She helped me see the light. But it has left me again. When my love departed from this world, she took my soul with her, leaving an empty, aching cavity so deep that nothing could ever make it whole again.
I moved my arms out to my sides feeling the thin blades of grass tickle my granite palms. Her sun warmed fingertips felt exactly like that…The chasm in my chest ripped open a little wider at the memory of her. Unconsciously, my hands grabbed at fistfuls of the tiny emerald stems and shredded them easily. My imagination took over my body and mind then, as everything shifted to auto-pilot. I started to think of her, whether I wanted to or not.
The wind that fluttered and danced through my hair was once her fingers. They traced delicate circles thought the forest of copper, sending waves of chills down my arms. The heat from the sun soaked through the rich black fabric of my suit, seeking out the iciest reaches of my heart. Without opening my eyes I knew that she was laying there on my chest, her strong heart beating life into my still one. Her arms wound around me and her delicate head rested beneath my chin. I felt soft strands of hair brush across my face, and the smell of freesias infused the air around me in a sweet bath of fragrance. The corners of my mouth flickered up a fraction at all these sensations. I knew that I could feel her there if I put my arms around her small waist.
She was there with me. In our meadow. The silk on the collar of my coat became her dark, thick hair, and I traced my fingers though it lightly, not wanting to taint the illusion with reality.
I would give anything to die right then. To have the last thing I feel be my love's sweet essence surrounding me. To drift off to heaven with my love-my sweet Bella to guide me home.