A/n I'm not sure where this came from. The muse was in the mood for something Apocalyptic, so here we go.

Warning: This is very dark and there is character death. Please don't read if you don't like these kinds of stories

My thanks to my beta REIDFANATIC, who puts up with my craziness.

And a plague shall fall upon men!

I write this not for absolution or pity. I write it only for understanding. I write it to get it straight in my own head before I do what I must… But then, there is time enough for that later.

My name is Spencer Reid. I used to have the title of doctor as part of my name. Now those types of designations like Supervisory Special Agent are meaningless.

Yes… I was an agent for the FBI, a so-called behavioral analyst. What a laugh! We thought we were so smart. We thought the profiling could rid the world of its evils, as though we were some kind of modern day Knights of the Round Table, and the art of profiling was our Excalibur. Well… I'm the last witness to tell you that we were wrong! We didn't know what true evil is!

I look at my beautiful little girl and my sweet and strong JJ, and my hands shake so hard I can hardly hold the pencil. I don't want to do what I must do. I look over at the gun next to me and tremble. There are three bullets in the clip, one for each of us. I don't want to do it… Please let there be another way…. Okay… I can't think of it. I have to finish!

I don't know for sure how it began. The government denied that anything was wrong, but slowly everyone became sick. Sick! That's not the right word. The truth was that is was so much more than just the flu, or cancer, or anything the human race had ever encountered.

The best that I can figure is that it began here in the United States. It rolled across the world like a giant tsunami that engulfed everyone in its path. It mutated of course, but the results were the same. It made Aids, and bird flu look like simple cold viruses.

There were survivors at first. I said there were survivors, but really they were the walking damned. Some of us lived through the first wave, others didn't. I watched my best friend die in the arms of the man that loved her. She was completely insane, and had clawed out her own eyes, as they all do just before they die. I watched her scream, and laugh at the imaginary demons around her that only she could see…

I'm sorry… I had to stop. I can't get the image of my friend cutting his own throat when he realized he was out of bullets. He just picked up a piece of glass from the broken window in Hotch's office and…

God all the blood… his and hers mingled together on the floor, and on the walls and chairs. It was like some psychotic child had found a new finger painting medium.

Hotch is gone too. He tried to get out. He tried to get to Haley and Jack. The ones that survived and were turned into homicidal monsters by the mutated virus, dragged him from his truck and ripped him apart in front of my eyes. I couldn't help him. Don't you understand? I had my own family to think of. It wasn't my fault! Dave died in the first wave and so did Emily. God… Why did I survive only to have it end like this?

You see there were immune cases. I, JJ and my daughter Emma were part of that group. We survived all of it somehow, only to face this last terrible judgment. She's only five, my beautiful little Emma, how can I do what I must. God… I don't want to do this.

I had to stop again. I can hear the damned trying to get into the building. Soon they will be here. We messed it up, it's over? Soon only the insane will rule this planet, and they will die terrible deaths after they have killed the rest of us.

I'm alone now. I had to do it. Men protect their families and it was time for me to be a man. That's what JJ said. She said she forgave me for what I had to do.

You see, I didn't want to do it, but I had to save them from what happened to Hotch and from what has happened to all the immune cases. JJ begged me to do it and I listened to her. I told my little girl to close her eyes. I told her that daddy loves her. JJ was crying. Her eyes were blood shot and swollen, but she was determined, more determined than me. She said it would be just like the men in history that killed their wives and children to save them from rape, torture and terrible deaths.

JJ begged me to save my little Emma and I did. I pulled the trigger and the noise was awful. It was a thousand times worse than killing in the line of duty. It was the worst pain of my life. I wanted to die. I wanted to rip my own heart out of my chest to watch it beat and then stop.

JJ screamed and she cradled our dead child like she was a baby again. My shot had been perfect just like when I killed Philip Dowd. The tiny spot of crimson blood at her temple was worse than the rivers of it in the streets.

"Oh God JJ… I'm so sorry."

I didn't want to do it, but I had no choice. Don't you see that I didn't have a choice? You can't blame me. I had to save her!

JJ looked up at me, and there was only love and forgiveness in her the large doe eyes that I have loved for as long as I can remember…

"I love you Spence…" She said. I pulled the trigger again and…

Oh God… I don't know if I can finish this. I didn't want to do it. I can hear the screaming and the gibbering of the damned, banging on the door to get in. I didn't want to do it. I tell you, but I had no choice. God forgive me, I had to. If there's a God, please let me see them again.

There's one bullet left in my gun! God… for once in my life give me strength. They're getting closer. I can see the door to my wife's office trembling under their weight. Well it's now or never, God forgive me and the ones that let loose this plague, they knew not what they did.

I love you JJ. I love you my little Emma…

Oh God… the door is breaking… One bullet… and mercy if God is good!