Title: A Few Other Men and One Woman

Author: SP

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider and whoever else own everything.

Rating: K

Pairing: pre-pre-Drake/Josh?

Summary: Drake and Josh talk on their way home after "The Affair".
Author's Notes: All of my Drake and Josh stories take place in the same universe. So, this takes place before "A Blonde Somebody," but both stand alone.

Finally, after Walter was satisfied that the boys were sufficiently food-covered and humiliated, they left the restaurant and began the walk home.

"Drake?" Josh said when they were barely ten feet from the door.

Drake cringed. He knew that tone. Josh was about to yell at him. "Yeah?"

"I have pasta sauce up my nose, and do you know WHY?"

"Uh, because--"

"Because you thought Dad was cheating on Mom!" Josh interrupted.

Drake held his hands up, and did his best to ignore the spaghetti that fell to the ground when he did it. "Jeez, you don't have to emphasize every other word."

Josh glared.

"Okay, okay, my fault. B-But, look, you agreed with me!"

Josh sighed. "Yeah, I did."

"And you dumped the spaghetti on her first."

Josh made an indignant sound. "I did not! You definitely hit her with the cake first!"

Drake sucked in air through his teeth. "Sorry, but it was you."

Josh paused to think for a minute, and then scowled. "Yeah, you're right. And enjoy it; we know it doesn't happen very often."

Drake gave him an offended look, and then added more brightly, "Hey, at least Dad wasn't having an affair with her!"

"But we wrecked his chance for a job! And what about that show, they have to find someone else to be the weatherman?"

"She did say she was considering a few other men and one woman," Drake reminded his brother.

"Oh yeah. Man, I thought she meant…" Josh stopped talking and blushed. He glanced at Drake.

Drake coughed, then said, "Well, if she did…and was, y'know, younger…that might be hot, right? A bisexual chick?"

"Uh, yeah, sure…"

"Not, like, gross, right?"

Josh paused. "Are we talking about that woman, or younger--"

"In general," Drake interjected.

"I never thought about it…" Josh began.

Drake made an impatient sound. "So think about it now."

Josh shot him a dirty look. "Would you let me finish a sentence? Anyway, I never thought about it, but no, it's not gross."

"Oh. Yeah, me too."

"Yeah…ew." Josh shuddered.

Drake grinned knowingly. "Spaghetti sauce run down your back?"

"Chest."

"Ew."

"You're telling me."

The two boys arrived home then. Megan opened the door just as Josh reached for it. She had her oboe in one hand. She stood in the doorway for a minute, staring at them, and then burst into laughter.

"Boobs," she gasped out. "Move, I'm going to oboe practice, and I don't want any spaghetti or frosting or…whatever, on my shirt."

They stepped to one side and Megan left the house. They moved inside, but before they could shut the door, Megan called back, "Oh yeah…Mom just did three huge loads of laundry."

Drake and Josh froze, and then looked at each other. That meant there was hardly any hot water left.

"I call it!" they yelled, nearly simultaneously, and then ran for the stairs.S