A/N: Hello there, this is a Jogan fic. These are the amazing characters created by C.P Coulter in her Dalton fic. I like many, many, many readers cried when I read the C27 Pt 2 and I am still hoping that Julian pulls through. Here is what I want to happen. I hope you like it. Please review and send it on to other Jogan fans. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy.
SECOND CHANCES
He stood at the window, looking out but not really seeing anything. After everything that had happened, he didn't know how he was here. He should be dead. In fact, he was pretty sure that for a moment he was dead. He didn't know what had brought him back but when he remembered the destruction that was caused because of him; he had to wonder why God would let him come back. The pain that he had caused, albeit indirectly, was almost too much to bear. How could any of them bear to be around him anymore? He couldn't go back. Even though that was what he dearly wanted to.
The police had been in to see him and they had asked so many questions. Questions that he really didn't know how to answer. Eventually the nurse has pushed them out of his room and told him to rest. That was nearly two hours ago and here he was, still trying to answer some of his own questions.
When Adam has forced him to tell Logan how he had felt, he had seen the reactions fly across Logan's face. The initial confusion, as he tried to assimilate what his best friend was telling him. Then the realisation that Julian had actually meant it. If it hadn't been such a dire situation, Julian might have actually found it amusing, watching his friend at a loss for words. Then later on, when they were on that damn staircase and he had made the decision to save Kurt, he had seen a multitude of emotions run across Logan's face; anger, fear, concern and something more. Julian had hoped, for just a second, that it had been love. He knew that if Logan had loved him in that moment and he survived the fire, he would die happy. And now here he was, sitting in a hospital room, trying to figure out what he would do next.
He loved Logan with all of his heart and he had accepted that he would die and therefore never see him again. He had come to terms with that but no, life played the surprise hand and he had lived. Now, what was he to do? Could he face Logan, knowing that he could have possibly destroyed their friendship with his declaration, albeit forced, of love? Who was he kidding, he had intended to leave before all of this has happened and he knew that that is what he would ultimately do. His parents wouldn't let him go back to Dalton, actually his parents wouldn't really care all that much, his agent wouldn't let him go back. He would leave Dalton and Logan and never look back, knowing that his heart would always belong there. Leaning his forehead against the cold window pane, he started to sing.
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
Or tell you that
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess and destruction
To come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules that's it's over
Then I'm sure that that makes sense
But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
And when we meet, which I'm sure we will
All that was there will be there still
I'll let it pass and hold my tongue
And you will think that I've moved on
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
Julian closed his eyes when he'd finished, wiping the tears from his cheek.
"Goodbye Logan." He whispered to the empty room.
"I don't think so." Came that voice from behind him causing Julian to spin around quickly on the spot, staring at the boy who was leaning nonchalantly against the door frame.
"How much did you hear?" He asked.
"All of it. What was that supposed to be? Your goodbye? What, couldn't you even talk to me? Just like before. You were just going to sneak off?"
"I didn't think you'd want to see me. I didn't think anyone would. When you consider what I caused, why would any of you?"
"Because none of it was your fault. Did you ever think of that? It was Adam who did it all, not you."
"It was because of me that he did it. If I'd left earlier I could have spare you. All of you."
"Spared me what Julian? The truth? Why did you leave it till then to tell me? God damn it, he had a knife at your throat. Did you even mean it or were you just playing along with his delusions?"
Julian didn't answer straight away. He debated with himself about lying to Logan, telling him that he hadn't meant it. He was just about to do that when he realized that Logan had just heard him singing so he knew the answer already. He was testing him. Julian stood up, holding onto the back of a nearby chair to support him as he faced Logan, the one boy who could make his heart beat to that crazy beat. He watched as Logan slowly entered the room and made his way over to him. His eyes were boring into his and Julian knew that he couldn't look away. There was something lurking in Logan's eyes and Julian couldn't quite work out what it meant. He didn't know if Logan was back on his meds or hell, if he was on some other drug, due to his injuries from the fire. He watched him as he walked closer. He was staring actually.
When Logan reached him, he stood so close but didn't actually touch Julian; he just stood there quietly looking at his friend. Slowly he raised an eyebrow, the only encouragement he gave Julian to continue. Still Julian didn't know what to say.
"Well Julian, what is it? Were you telling me the truth? Do you love me?"
Julian swallowed heavily, Logan was so close to him that his scent filled his nostrils and made Julian want to kiss him. Before he could think about what he was doing, Julian let go of the chair and grabbed Logan's face, bringing down to his as his lips landed on his. He put his answer into that kiss, the kiss that he had been dreaming of for years. At first Logan didn't respond and Julian realized that he probably never would. As he went to pull away, he found Logan's hands holding him in place and he heard a low moan from him as Logan started to return the kiss. It wasn't gentle, not that Julian expected it to be. Logan crushed Julian's lips against his teeth as he aggressively kissed him. When they parted, they were both breathing pretty heavily.
"Don't ever keep anything from me again Julian Larson. And don't you ever forget that you are mine. I love you too. It might have taken me longer to figure it out but it's always been you. You were always there beside me, so I took it for granted that you always would be and when I thought I had lost you, I realized that that was worse than dying myself. I love you and I always will."
Julian nodded, smiling. His questions no longer mattered. Logan loved him and for now, all was well with the world. Leaning in, he kissed Logan again, making sure to take the lead. This time it was a gentle kiss filled with love.