Note: This story is actually my friend Lei's so give her all the credit & reviews :D
Disclaimer: I don't own Animal Crossing. Nintendo does. But, if I am lucky, they will hire me, and I can fix everything they did wrong on this game...muahahaha...um...yes...
Lei was walking around Goldenrod City, giggling insanely and having nothing to do because she got kicked out of the TRHQ (for losing all the toasters). Then she saw the train come in, and decided to go to Celadon City, so she could lose the toasters of the other TRHQ.
She was on the train for about a month, but she wasn't paying attention, because the lights were always on and the window shades were down. She was absentmindedly chewing gum when a blue cat came and sat down next to her.
Rover: Hi! Can I sit here?
Lei: You just did.
Rover: Oh, okay! So, are you going to Tokyo?
Lei: Is that where this train is going?
Rover: Yeah!
Lei: Then I guess I am.
Rover: Okay, want to save me the trouble and fill out a survey or something?
Lei: Not really.
Rover: Okay! *Gives her a survey*
Lei: *Fills out the survey as she blows a huge bubble* Okay. I'm done.
The train comes to an abrupt stop and Rover gets covered with gum.
Lei: Oops. Gotta go. *Runs*
She ran outside, vaguely remembering that she was supposed to be in Celadon City. Then Tanuki (Yes, Tom Nook, but I like Tanuki better XP) appeared out of nowhere reading a piece of paper.
Tanuki: HAHAHAHA! No wonder their HRA ratings are so bad! You're Lei, right?
Lei: Why?
Tanuki: Uh...because...so are you?
Lei: Uhhh...I don't know...but I need some more gum...
Tanuki: Okay, the book said that you have to find a house but you're not going to have enough anyway.
Lei: What book?
Tanuki: Don't question my powers!
Lei: O_O; Right. *Goes in the red house* Wow. It's amazingly smaller than my room.
Tanuki: So? Is that the one you want?
Lei: Yep.
Tanuki: Are you sure?
Lei: Are they all the same size?
Tanuki: *Gets out the book* Well they're supposed to be...not that I measured them...
Lei: Oh. I will, then.
She gets out some measuring tape and starts running around measuring everything.
Lei: Nope. The red one is 0.00001 centimeter bigger. I'll take it.
Tanuki: The book didn't say that...
Lei: Good. I have 9,999,999,999 bells. That is the currency here, right? I'm assuming it is, because...er...it is.
Tanuki: BUT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT MUCH YET! Nintendo did it that way on purpose. When you're walking around before you pay for your house, you can't press the "start" button. Did you notice that? Huh? Did you??? THE BOOK SAID SO!
Lei: The book is wrong. WRONG!
Tanuki: It is not!
Lei: Fine. I'll go find something to do with 9,999,999,999 bells. Bye.
Tanuki: No! Too late!
Lei: Okay. I guess I'll eat it then. *Stuffs it all in her mouth*
Tanuki: O_O You so scare me.
Lei: Thank you.
Tanuki: Now go to Acre A-1! And don't do that again!
Lei: Whoa, did he really think I ate all that money? *Takes the money from under her shirt and hides it under a rock*
Lei goes to Acre A-1, now chewing more gum.
Tanuki: What took you???
Lei: Um...you did, or I wouldn't be here.
Tanuki: OH GREAT! I forgot to give that long boring speech I was supposed to give after you got a house! You had the red one right?
Lei: ...Yeah.
Tanuki: Fine I'll have to give it now! In front of your house there is a Gyroid! So talk to it before you save!
Lei: Save what?
Tanuki: How would I know? It's not even in the book! All of the empty houses, er, they are empty, but I hear someone's going to open an Italian restaurant in one of them...
Lei: ...
Tanuki: The Post Office is where you mail stuff. You mail stuff by writing with stationary. You can find that at the Dump. Or everyone will give you some, because they're cheap.
Lei: Cheaper than you?
Tanuki: HEY!
Lei: I was just wondering. *Blows a bubble*
Tanuki: You can also find an E-card machine. It doesn't work right now, so it's really there for decoration. Yeah. Time's up. Now you're supposed to plant flowers.
Lei: Ooh. Fun.
Lei goes out and plants flowers.
Tanuki: So you planted them right? Took long enough...
Lei: No. I ate them.
Tanuki: WHAT?
Lei: DUH I PLANTED THEM! WHAT ELSE WOULD I DO WITH THEM???
Tanuki: Probably eat them.
Lei: What other mindless task are you going to assign to me?
Tanuki: Talk to everyone.
Lei: IN THE WORLD?
Tanuki: NO! I MEAN HERE!
Lei: Okay. *Goes up to a shirt* Hi shirt. *Goes up to a piece of stationary* Hiya stationary, what's up?
Tanuki: That's not what I meant!
Lei: Well that's what you said!
Tanuki: Talk to everyone outside!
Lei: Okay.
Lei goes outside, and taking it literally, proceeded to introduce herself to the rock in the corner. Then she went to talk to everyone anyway, because she couldn't think of anything better to do.
Tanuki: So did you?
Lei: Did I what?
Tanuki: Talk to everyone?
Lei: In the world???
Tanuki: No! Outside!
Lei: Oh. Sorry. I forgot to talk to that blade of grass in Acre B-5.
Tanuki: ...You're really weird. Now write a letter to Anchovy. You know who that is right?
Lei: *Takes out a dictionary* Anchovy: A stinky ol' fish.
Tanuki: I'm sorry I asked.
Lei: You should be.
Lei got some stationary and wrote to Anchovy.
Dear Anchovy,
Tanuki is forcing me to write this letter, so please come and try the new pepperoni pizza, the turkey sandwich, and the tacos. I would, but I've got to talk to a blade of grass now. Bye!
From...uh...derr...I forget.
Tanuki: Did you write something interesting?
Lei: Yep.
Tanuki: Well, for some reason, someone just ate page 21 of my book... *glare*
Lei: No, not me. I'd never eat a book with no salt.
Tanuki: Fine then I'll make something up off the top of my head. Go get an arapaima! You have fifteen seconds!
Lei: No way! It's not arapaima season!
Tanuki: Do it NOW!
Lei: No!
Tanuki: DO IT!
Lei: Fear the wrath of my bubble! *Bubble pops all over all the stuff*
Tanuki: EW! You're evil!
Lei: Thank you!
Tanuki: YOU WILL PAY!
Lei: I HAVE MORE GUM!
Tanuki: ...Oh. Okay.
Lei: Goodbye!
Lei left and returned to her house where she noticed that she had mail...a lot of mail! She took out all of the mail and went into her house to read it. The first one said:
Hi, Lei!
I got this letter about pizza and tacos! It sounded so delicious! And I think you're cute! Teehee!
Love, Anchovy
Lei examined the letter more until she noticed that it said, "I think you're shoes are cute". She groaned. Her shoes did not look all that great, and besides, it had very bad grammar.
The next letter said:
Lei, you idiot!
What did I tell you about crab cakes??? Oh, and stay off my lawn! Too bad I don't have one!
Love, Sprocket
She didn't understand it, but she didn't care. But the next one was even weirder.
Lei:
Thank you so much for your gracious donation of the triceratops tail. Enclosed is the finished fossil. Thank you for your patronage.
The Museum
Not only had Lei never given the Museum a fossil, but also there was nothing enclosed there at all. Then she looked at the next letter.
Dear resident,
If you don't start writing me back then I'm gonna turn you into a lamp.
From,
It didn't say whom it was from; it just stopped then. She carefully hid the letters under her orange box and carried on her way...
The next day, it finally occurred to Lei that if she was going to have a house, she should really do something with it. This was seriously the most ugly house she had seen in her life. So she got up and went to the store.
Tanuki: AAAAAAAAH! NOT YOU!
Lei: MUAHAHAHAHA! *Everything gets dark, scary music plays, and lightning flashes*
Tanuki: NOOOOOO! SPECIAL EFFECTS!
Lei: And gum! *Takes out some gum and chews it* Do you have peanut butter?
Tanuki: NO! PLEASE NOT THE GUM!
Lei: I SAID I WANTED PEANUT BUTTER!
Tanuki: This is a furniture store. What makes you think I would have peanut butter?
Lei: Uh well I dunno there's not really any other store here so how am I supposed to eat anything?
Tanuki: By putting it in your mouth and chewing it. I suspected you'd know that. You ate 9,999,999,999 bells yesterday.
Lei: *Gasp* I did no such thing!
Tanuki: Well I just forgot something else! I didn't make you do all of the other stuff that the book said I was supposed to make you do when you first got here and I was reading the book to see what you had to do when you first got here!
Lei: ...What?
Tanuki: I have no idea! Now you have to give this pair of socks to Ankh!
Lei: Um, first of all, you spelled that wrong, and second, there's no Ankah here.
Tanuki: You spelled "Ankh" wrong.
Lei: I did not! You spelled it wrong!
Tanuki: Nuh uh, do you not know how to use the Microsoft Word spell checker thingy or something?
Lei: Stop taking things so literally! Now I'm going to have to delete this scene!
Tanuki: Like toast?
Lei: You're stupid!
Tanuki: Thank you. And you can't spell either!
Lei: I have gum! *Blink* Hey wait a second...wasn't I chewing gum just now? *Gag* AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Tanuki: You deleted that scene, remember?
Lei: I did no such thing! ... Why did I come in here again?
Tanuki: You said you were going to jump in front of a moving train.
Lei: What did you say?
Tanuki: I dunno. What did I say?
Lei: Look over there! *Runs away*
Tanuki: WEST VIRGINIA!
Yuki: Hi, Maria!
Lei: My name's Lei.
Yuka: Okay, Maria!
Lei: I SAID MY NAME'S LEI!
Yuka: I know, Maria, they told me that, tsk tsk!
Lei: You're stupid!
Yuka: Hey thanks Maria! But you say that to everyone, tsk tsk!
Lei: I'm going to go talk to someone WITH A BRAIN!
*Tumbleweed rolls by in the distance*
Blaire: Whoa! Tumbleweeds have brains? O_O
Lei: NO!
Blaire: Oh yeah, how informative of you, Maria. Nice to see you again, nutlet.
Lei: MY NAME'S NOT MARIA!
Blaire: Prove it!
Lei: POTATO!
Blaire: Wow, you're right! Your name is Maria, I'm sorry I ever doubted you!
Redd: Hi! Want a ruby econo-chair?
Lei: No.
Redd: Good!
Lei: What do you think my name is?
Redd: Hillary Clinton!
Lei: O_O;;;;;
Redd: You're sure about the chair, right? Nobody can have it!
*Crickets chirp*
Redd: Did anybody hear that? *Turns to the ruby econo-chair* How about you?
Lei: You've got problems.
Redd: I know that, Hillary Clinton!
Lei: I am Lei!
Redd: I know that.
Lei: Know what?
Redd: No, I don't know what. Later Hillary!
Lei: Are you in love with a chair?
Redd: ... WHO TOLD YOU??? *Flee*
Lei: O_o Hi Copper.
Copper: Hi Maria.
Lei: What?
Copper: Pretending your name is Lei! How immature! And illegal! That's going to be a fine of 999,999,999 bells!
Lei: Okay. *Gives him an old tire*
Copper: *Gasp* That's illegal parking!
Lei: I don't have a car.
Copper: That's karma!
Lei: My karma ran over my dogma.
Copper: O_o You're EVIL! *Runs away*
Lei: Running on the job! That's fifteen thousand points off! Whatever that means.
Suddenly, Rover walked up to her staring in to space.
Rover: Look! Cheese!
Lei: No thanks. Goodbye.
Rover: How about a giant Kleenex?
Lei: That's okay. You can leave now. I don't think it's in the "book".
Rover: Oh, the book, I hate the book! I tried to eat it once!
Lei: ... You're the stupidest multicellular organism it has ever been my displeasure to know.
Rover: *Sniff* MEANIE!
Lei: Go blow your nose on a giant Kleenex.
Rover: I -
Lei: EVIL!
Rover: Um er what's a dog?
Lei: AAAAAAAAAH! *Runs away*
Rover: Thank you, come again!
The next day, the same thing happened. Almost.
Lei: Hi, stupid annoying animal things.
Rover: Hi, Maria!
Lei: MY NAME IS NOT MARIA YOU YOU YOU ANNOYING CAT YOU!
Tanuki: That was the worse insult I have ever heard! A turkey sandwich would have better remarks than that!
Lei: WELL I DIDN'T ASK YOU!
Tanuki: TURN BLUE!
Lei: That was the worse comeback I've ever heard!
Tanuki: Well I didn't ask you! Birdbrain!
Anchovy: Watch it! Hi Lei! I love your shoes!
Lei: Are you kidding? These shoes are terrible! ... Hey you got my name right!
Anchovy: Well if you don't like your shoes can I have them?
Lei: No.
Anchovy: Why not?
Lei: Because then I wouldn't be wearing any shoes you moron. And what were your parents thinking??? Naming you after a stinky ol' fish! Really!
Anchovy: Thank you, come again!
Lei: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??? WHY WOULD I WANT TO COME AGAIN??? IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M HERE!
Copper: Then why don't you go home?
Lei: Because there is no train that goes back to Goldenrod City!
Copper: Why? Didn't you check the train schedule? Teeheeheehee.
Lei: What is your problem?
Copper: Oh, I haven't slept in three weeks.
Lei: That is not even possible...
Copper: Actually I've had horrible luck with pasta. It always slides down the drain and I never get a chance to eat it.
Lei: You're an idiot.
Copper: Thank you, come again!
Lei: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT???
So, Lei goes to check the train schedule.
Brooklyn: 12:00 PM Brooklyn: 1:30 PM Miyamoto: 2:30 PM Harlem: 3:30 PM Goldenrod City: 4:45 PM Miyamoto: 5:30 PM Harlem: 6:00 PM She read the fifth line over. Lei: GOLDENROD CITY! I'M GOING HOME! ONLY AN HOUR LEFT TO GO! ... Now what should I do?
She goes over to the Nook-n-go for lack of anything better to do...
Lei: Hi! All your base are belong to us!
Tanuki: You don't even know what that means.
Lei: That's true! Like toast! *Runs into the wall*
Then she went to Alli's house.
Lei: Hi, Alli! All my gum are belong all over your face!
Alli: What? What are you saying you dysfunctional idiotic human girl?
Lei: Like toast?
Alli: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???
Lei: Like buttered toast with gravy -
Alli: AAAAH! YOU SCARE ME!
Alli ran away and never came back.
Lei: Now if only I had done that sixty years ago. ... Too bad I wasn't born yet...
Anchovy: Hi, Lei! I love your shoes!
Lei: You said that already.
Anchovy: Thanks!
Lei: What was that supposed to mean?
Blaire: *Throws a toaster at her*
Lei: What's the toaster for?
Blaire: Toast, you moron!
Lei: Hey! Times up! Time for me to go home!
Anchovy: Hi, Lei! I love your shoes!
Lei: I know. Bye!
Lei at last went on the train and everything was at peace again. Well, almost.
Rover: Hi! What's your name?
Lei: Maria.
Rover: Okay! Hi Lei! Where are you going?
Lei: Goldenrod City.
Rover: Really? What a coincidence! So am I!
Lei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Throws Rover out the window*
Now it was.
This is what happened to everyone:
A flamingo on helium that was chewing gum turned Tanuki into a lamppost.
Anchovy and Blaire went to the river and threw rocks. They talked about shoes.
Copper finally got a chance to sleep, but he could never fall asleep because he was having nightmares about pasta and old tires.
Rover got arrested for impersonating a box of Chinese food.
Redd and the Ruby-econo chair got married. Don't ask.
Yuka gets challenged to a duel by evil soda cans.
The End
Disclaimer: I don't own Animal Crossing. Nintendo does. But, if I am lucky, they will hire me, and I can fix everything they did wrong on this game...muahahaha...um...yes...
Lei was walking around Goldenrod City, giggling insanely and having nothing to do because she got kicked out of the TRHQ (for losing all the toasters). Then she saw the train come in, and decided to go to Celadon City, so she could lose the toasters of the other TRHQ.
She was on the train for about a month, but she wasn't paying attention, because the lights were always on and the window shades were down. She was absentmindedly chewing gum when a blue cat came and sat down next to her.
Rover: Hi! Can I sit here?
Lei: You just did.
Rover: Oh, okay! So, are you going to Tokyo?
Lei: Is that where this train is going?
Rover: Yeah!
Lei: Then I guess I am.
Rover: Okay, want to save me the trouble and fill out a survey or something?
Lei: Not really.
Rover: Okay! *Gives her a survey*
Lei: *Fills out the survey as she blows a huge bubble* Okay. I'm done.
The train comes to an abrupt stop and Rover gets covered with gum.
Lei: Oops. Gotta go. *Runs*
She ran outside, vaguely remembering that she was supposed to be in Celadon City. Then Tanuki (Yes, Tom Nook, but I like Tanuki better XP) appeared out of nowhere reading a piece of paper.
Tanuki: HAHAHAHA! No wonder their HRA ratings are so bad! You're Lei, right?
Lei: Why?
Tanuki: Uh...because...so are you?
Lei: Uhhh...I don't know...but I need some more gum...
Tanuki: Okay, the book said that you have to find a house but you're not going to have enough anyway.
Lei: What book?
Tanuki: Don't question my powers!
Lei: O_O; Right. *Goes in the red house* Wow. It's amazingly smaller than my room.
Tanuki: So? Is that the one you want?
Lei: Yep.
Tanuki: Are you sure?
Lei: Are they all the same size?
Tanuki: *Gets out the book* Well they're supposed to be...not that I measured them...
Lei: Oh. I will, then.
She gets out some measuring tape and starts running around measuring everything.
Lei: Nope. The red one is 0.00001 centimeter bigger. I'll take it.
Tanuki: The book didn't say that...
Lei: Good. I have 9,999,999,999 bells. That is the currency here, right? I'm assuming it is, because...er...it is.
Tanuki: BUT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT MUCH YET! Nintendo did it that way on purpose. When you're walking around before you pay for your house, you can't press the "start" button. Did you notice that? Huh? Did you??? THE BOOK SAID SO!
Lei: The book is wrong. WRONG!
Tanuki: It is not!
Lei: Fine. I'll go find something to do with 9,999,999,999 bells. Bye.
Tanuki: No! Too late!
Lei: Okay. I guess I'll eat it then. *Stuffs it all in her mouth*
Tanuki: O_O You so scare me.
Lei: Thank you.
Tanuki: Now go to Acre A-1! And don't do that again!
Lei: Whoa, did he really think I ate all that money? *Takes the money from under her shirt and hides it under a rock*
Lei goes to Acre A-1, now chewing more gum.
Tanuki: What took you???
Lei: Um...you did, or I wouldn't be here.
Tanuki: OH GREAT! I forgot to give that long boring speech I was supposed to give after you got a house! You had the red one right?
Lei: ...Yeah.
Tanuki: Fine I'll have to give it now! In front of your house there is a Gyroid! So talk to it before you save!
Lei: Save what?
Tanuki: How would I know? It's not even in the book! All of the empty houses, er, they are empty, but I hear someone's going to open an Italian restaurant in one of them...
Lei: ...
Tanuki: The Post Office is where you mail stuff. You mail stuff by writing with stationary. You can find that at the Dump. Or everyone will give you some, because they're cheap.
Lei: Cheaper than you?
Tanuki: HEY!
Lei: I was just wondering. *Blows a bubble*
Tanuki: You can also find an E-card machine. It doesn't work right now, so it's really there for decoration. Yeah. Time's up. Now you're supposed to plant flowers.
Lei: Ooh. Fun.
Lei goes out and plants flowers.
Tanuki: So you planted them right? Took long enough...
Lei: No. I ate them.
Tanuki: WHAT?
Lei: DUH I PLANTED THEM! WHAT ELSE WOULD I DO WITH THEM???
Tanuki: Probably eat them.
Lei: What other mindless task are you going to assign to me?
Tanuki: Talk to everyone.
Lei: IN THE WORLD?
Tanuki: NO! I MEAN HERE!
Lei: Okay. *Goes up to a shirt* Hi shirt. *Goes up to a piece of stationary* Hiya stationary, what's up?
Tanuki: That's not what I meant!
Lei: Well that's what you said!
Tanuki: Talk to everyone outside!
Lei: Okay.
Lei goes outside, and taking it literally, proceeded to introduce herself to the rock in the corner. Then she went to talk to everyone anyway, because she couldn't think of anything better to do.
Tanuki: So did you?
Lei: Did I what?
Tanuki: Talk to everyone?
Lei: In the world???
Tanuki: No! Outside!
Lei: Oh. Sorry. I forgot to talk to that blade of grass in Acre B-5.
Tanuki: ...You're really weird. Now write a letter to Anchovy. You know who that is right?
Lei: *Takes out a dictionary* Anchovy: A stinky ol' fish.
Tanuki: I'm sorry I asked.
Lei: You should be.
Lei got some stationary and wrote to Anchovy.
Dear Anchovy,
Tanuki is forcing me to write this letter, so please come and try the new pepperoni pizza, the turkey sandwich, and the tacos. I would, but I've got to talk to a blade of grass now. Bye!
From...uh...derr...I forget.
Tanuki: Did you write something interesting?
Lei: Yep.
Tanuki: Well, for some reason, someone just ate page 21 of my book... *glare*
Lei: No, not me. I'd never eat a book with no salt.
Tanuki: Fine then I'll make something up off the top of my head. Go get an arapaima! You have fifteen seconds!
Lei: No way! It's not arapaima season!
Tanuki: Do it NOW!
Lei: No!
Tanuki: DO IT!
Lei: Fear the wrath of my bubble! *Bubble pops all over all the stuff*
Tanuki: EW! You're evil!
Lei: Thank you!
Tanuki: YOU WILL PAY!
Lei: I HAVE MORE GUM!
Tanuki: ...Oh. Okay.
Lei: Goodbye!
Lei left and returned to her house where she noticed that she had mail...a lot of mail! She took out all of the mail and went into her house to read it. The first one said:
Hi, Lei!
I got this letter about pizza and tacos! It sounded so delicious! And I think you're cute! Teehee!
Love, Anchovy
Lei examined the letter more until she noticed that it said, "I think you're shoes are cute". She groaned. Her shoes did not look all that great, and besides, it had very bad grammar.
The next letter said:
Lei, you idiot!
What did I tell you about crab cakes??? Oh, and stay off my lawn! Too bad I don't have one!
Love, Sprocket
She didn't understand it, but she didn't care. But the next one was even weirder.
Lei:
Thank you so much for your gracious donation of the triceratops tail. Enclosed is the finished fossil. Thank you for your patronage.
The Museum
Not only had Lei never given the Museum a fossil, but also there was nothing enclosed there at all. Then she looked at the next letter.
Dear resident,
If you don't start writing me back then I'm gonna turn you into a lamp.
From,
It didn't say whom it was from; it just stopped then. She carefully hid the letters under her orange box and carried on her way...
The next day, it finally occurred to Lei that if she was going to have a house, she should really do something with it. This was seriously the most ugly house she had seen in her life. So she got up and went to the store.
Tanuki: AAAAAAAAH! NOT YOU!
Lei: MUAHAHAHAHA! *Everything gets dark, scary music plays, and lightning flashes*
Tanuki: NOOOOOO! SPECIAL EFFECTS!
Lei: And gum! *Takes out some gum and chews it* Do you have peanut butter?
Tanuki: NO! PLEASE NOT THE GUM!
Lei: I SAID I WANTED PEANUT BUTTER!
Tanuki: This is a furniture store. What makes you think I would have peanut butter?
Lei: Uh well I dunno there's not really any other store here so how am I supposed to eat anything?
Tanuki: By putting it in your mouth and chewing it. I suspected you'd know that. You ate 9,999,999,999 bells yesterday.
Lei: *Gasp* I did no such thing!
Tanuki: Well I just forgot something else! I didn't make you do all of the other stuff that the book said I was supposed to make you do when you first got here and I was reading the book to see what you had to do when you first got here!
Lei: ...What?
Tanuki: I have no idea! Now you have to give this pair of socks to Ankh!
Lei: Um, first of all, you spelled that wrong, and second, there's no Ankah here.
Tanuki: You spelled "Ankh" wrong.
Lei: I did not! You spelled it wrong!
Tanuki: Nuh uh, do you not know how to use the Microsoft Word spell checker thingy or something?
Lei: Stop taking things so literally! Now I'm going to have to delete this scene!
Tanuki: Like toast?
Lei: You're stupid!
Tanuki: Thank you. And you can't spell either!
Lei: I have gum! *Blink* Hey wait a second...wasn't I chewing gum just now? *Gag* AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Tanuki: You deleted that scene, remember?
Lei: I did no such thing! ... Why did I come in here again?
Tanuki: You said you were going to jump in front of a moving train.
Lei: What did you say?
Tanuki: I dunno. What did I say?
Lei: Look over there! *Runs away*
Tanuki: WEST VIRGINIA!
Yuki: Hi, Maria!
Lei: My name's Lei.
Yuka: Okay, Maria!
Lei: I SAID MY NAME'S LEI!
Yuka: I know, Maria, they told me that, tsk tsk!
Lei: You're stupid!
Yuka: Hey thanks Maria! But you say that to everyone, tsk tsk!
Lei: I'm going to go talk to someone WITH A BRAIN!
*Tumbleweed rolls by in the distance*
Blaire: Whoa! Tumbleweeds have brains? O_O
Lei: NO!
Blaire: Oh yeah, how informative of you, Maria. Nice to see you again, nutlet.
Lei: MY NAME'S NOT MARIA!
Blaire: Prove it!
Lei: POTATO!
Blaire: Wow, you're right! Your name is Maria, I'm sorry I ever doubted you!
Redd: Hi! Want a ruby econo-chair?
Lei: No.
Redd: Good!
Lei: What do you think my name is?
Redd: Hillary Clinton!
Lei: O_O;;;;;
Redd: You're sure about the chair, right? Nobody can have it!
*Crickets chirp*
Redd: Did anybody hear that? *Turns to the ruby econo-chair* How about you?
Lei: You've got problems.
Redd: I know that, Hillary Clinton!
Lei: I am Lei!
Redd: I know that.
Lei: Know what?
Redd: No, I don't know what. Later Hillary!
Lei: Are you in love with a chair?
Redd: ... WHO TOLD YOU??? *Flee*
Lei: O_o Hi Copper.
Copper: Hi Maria.
Lei: What?
Copper: Pretending your name is Lei! How immature! And illegal! That's going to be a fine of 999,999,999 bells!
Lei: Okay. *Gives him an old tire*
Copper: *Gasp* That's illegal parking!
Lei: I don't have a car.
Copper: That's karma!
Lei: My karma ran over my dogma.
Copper: O_o You're EVIL! *Runs away*
Lei: Running on the job! That's fifteen thousand points off! Whatever that means.
Suddenly, Rover walked up to her staring in to space.
Rover: Look! Cheese!
Lei: No thanks. Goodbye.
Rover: How about a giant Kleenex?
Lei: That's okay. You can leave now. I don't think it's in the "book".
Rover: Oh, the book, I hate the book! I tried to eat it once!
Lei: ... You're the stupidest multicellular organism it has ever been my displeasure to know.
Rover: *Sniff* MEANIE!
Lei: Go blow your nose on a giant Kleenex.
Rover: I -
Lei: EVIL!
Rover: Um er what's a dog?
Lei: AAAAAAAAAH! *Runs away*
Rover: Thank you, come again!
The next day, the same thing happened. Almost.
Lei: Hi, stupid annoying animal things.
Rover: Hi, Maria!
Lei: MY NAME IS NOT MARIA YOU YOU YOU ANNOYING CAT YOU!
Tanuki: That was the worse insult I have ever heard! A turkey sandwich would have better remarks than that!
Lei: WELL I DIDN'T ASK YOU!
Tanuki: TURN BLUE!
Lei: That was the worse comeback I've ever heard!
Tanuki: Well I didn't ask you! Birdbrain!
Anchovy: Watch it! Hi Lei! I love your shoes!
Lei: Are you kidding? These shoes are terrible! ... Hey you got my name right!
Anchovy: Well if you don't like your shoes can I have them?
Lei: No.
Anchovy: Why not?
Lei: Because then I wouldn't be wearing any shoes you moron. And what were your parents thinking??? Naming you after a stinky ol' fish! Really!
Anchovy: Thank you, come again!
Lei: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??? WHY WOULD I WANT TO COME AGAIN??? IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M HERE!
Copper: Then why don't you go home?
Lei: Because there is no train that goes back to Goldenrod City!
Copper: Why? Didn't you check the train schedule? Teeheeheehee.
Lei: What is your problem?
Copper: Oh, I haven't slept in three weeks.
Lei: That is not even possible...
Copper: Actually I've had horrible luck with pasta. It always slides down the drain and I never get a chance to eat it.
Lei: You're an idiot.
Copper: Thank you, come again!
Lei: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THAT???
So, Lei goes to check the train schedule.
Brooklyn: 12:00 PM Brooklyn: 1:30 PM Miyamoto: 2:30 PM Harlem: 3:30 PM Goldenrod City: 4:45 PM Miyamoto: 5:30 PM Harlem: 6:00 PM She read the fifth line over. Lei: GOLDENROD CITY! I'M GOING HOME! ONLY AN HOUR LEFT TO GO! ... Now what should I do?
She goes over to the Nook-n-go for lack of anything better to do...
Lei: Hi! All your base are belong to us!
Tanuki: You don't even know what that means.
Lei: That's true! Like toast! *Runs into the wall*
Then she went to Alli's house.
Lei: Hi, Alli! All my gum are belong all over your face!
Alli: What? What are you saying you dysfunctional idiotic human girl?
Lei: Like toast?
Alli: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???
Lei: Like buttered toast with gravy -
Alli: AAAAH! YOU SCARE ME!
Alli ran away and never came back.
Lei: Now if only I had done that sixty years ago. ... Too bad I wasn't born yet...
Anchovy: Hi, Lei! I love your shoes!
Lei: You said that already.
Anchovy: Thanks!
Lei: What was that supposed to mean?
Blaire: *Throws a toaster at her*
Lei: What's the toaster for?
Blaire: Toast, you moron!
Lei: Hey! Times up! Time for me to go home!
Anchovy: Hi, Lei! I love your shoes!
Lei: I know. Bye!
Lei at last went on the train and everything was at peace again. Well, almost.
Rover: Hi! What's your name?
Lei: Maria.
Rover: Okay! Hi Lei! Where are you going?
Lei: Goldenrod City.
Rover: Really? What a coincidence! So am I!
Lei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Throws Rover out the window*
Now it was.
This is what happened to everyone:
A flamingo on helium that was chewing gum turned Tanuki into a lamppost.
Anchovy and Blaire went to the river and threw rocks. They talked about shoes.
Copper finally got a chance to sleep, but he could never fall asleep because he was having nightmares about pasta and old tires.
Rover got arrested for impersonating a box of Chinese food.
Redd and the Ruby-econo chair got married. Don't ask.
Yuka gets challenged to a duel by evil soda cans.
The End