Ever felt hopeless? Ever felt completely useless in a situation that involves no other but yourself? I guess this was the fuel that set me off on this little one shot.

Another from my 'Pissed off Romance' Series.

Ash

Thou shall honour thy word.

What does it mean when you father saves your most hated enemy from the man you and your father both looked up too for seventeen years of your life? Not counting the fact your father secretly betrayed the boundaries he set for you as a young child? And you also fancy this enemy.

What does it mean when your enemy owes your father for the trouble he was put through? And when the enemy shall pay back with anything?

I have an idea; it means your father now has complete control over the enemy at his digression. Pity that you don't have a part to play in this, for you know that the enemy would do anything… all your fantasies with said person would come true, would be reality.

Also, what becomes of your life when your father 'finds out' of your little obsession with the enemy/debtor? And the only thing left for your father is your happiness and health.

I think your life then becomes somewhat of a circus act, high in the balance of something bigger than yourself.

Then, to make all these questions relevant; What happens when your father tells you that he wishes the enemy to marry and learn to love you? For him or her to be the life partner, of you, the offspring of this thing bigger than yourself. That the wish is granted with a few swift arrangements.

I think I know what happens.

I think that I, Draco Malfoy of the Malfoy Family and heir of the Malfoy family, born from pureblood and tainted by my fathers good nature fad, shall find no way out of marrying Harry Potter, Gryffindor, for my father always gets what he asks for.

I see why my father has requested such an act for he knows I am infatuated by Harry and my happiness is the only thing keeping him sane in this house that I now am laying in, seeing as my mother left him for a man she met on holiday and the name of my family is somewhat frowned upon, even after Lucius saved Potter from the green flames sent straight at him.

But shouldn't my father be aware of Harry Potter's previous love affairs with women? Or the fact he and Hermione were together… up until she passed away? Not counting the fact that Harry Potter is not gay!

Much to my annoyance.

The day after my father told me of his soon to be request, I left my rooms with caution and went to look for Harry, a current and frequent visitor to our household. It seemed he had a fascination for the library we hold great pride in and Lucius only encouraged the boy to spend as much time as he pleased here, reading and resting.

If I didn't know my father, I would say he was gay himself. Well, I had to of learnt it somewhere didn't I? Anyway, I was going to find Potter. I made my way to the library and walked in with much shyness and truth on my face that I could muster. I probably showed an eighth of how terrified I really was. In truth I was nearly passing out with anxiety and it felt good when I sat down beside him on one of the couches in the vast library.

Slowly I turned to him, in full knowledge that my father hadn't told Harry of the deal to be made. Yet. I made an effort to smile and I knew he could see me blushing in the faint light of the huge room we occupied.

'Harry,' I addressed casually, 'I have something to ask you." I tried to be bland but it sounded more hopeful than indifferent and I knew that my true intentions were shining through with bravado even if he couldn't see it.

'Go on…' Harry asked after a brief pause and I had to try and think over what to say to the raven haired man.

'My father,' I started with a smile formed of a great sadness hanging off my heart, 'He wants the debt to be paid, he has made up his mind of what he requests.' Damn, the words hung so thick in the air and I still wonder if Harry was as in as much discomfort as I was, at the words I uttered.

'And?' He stressed lightly and I contemplated leaving so he could go back to reading.

I chuckled nervously and trailed my eyes over to the fire place, bracing myself for a negative reaction and the words I knew I should tell him. 'My father, he wants us to marry.' Time stopped for just a few seconds and it took me a while to let my gaze rest back upon him.

'Oh.' … … … Is that all he had to say? Wasn't there a scream or a threat due? Didn't he think that I was joking?

'I don't think you should Harry!' I blurted out. Somewhere, deep in my subconscious is a motive for this and when I find it, I'm gonna kill it.

'Draco, that isn't for you too decide, is it!' Harry snapped and its right in saying I felt as if my father was scolding me for being bad. As if I was eight.

'No, it isn't Harry.' I said weakly and I faked a smile again, 'I'm sorry, I just don't want to see you unhappy for the rest of your life and…' I was cut off.

'I promised your father and he obviously has his reason for asking such a thing. I stay true to my word Draco and what shall be shall be!' I stood at his words and glared defensively at him, and I think the ache of always watching Harry from afar came back and smacked me into senselessness for I felt my heart break and the Draco I was never brought up to be came through. 'I cant be with someone I love for the rest of my life and know they do not love me back.'

Harry looked shocked and I felt like running away and I think that's why turning on my heel and walking away slowly came easier than expected.

'Draco!' My name made me freeze and I turned to look at the speaker, the eyes of which burnt holes into me as I stood with body language clearly indicating how broken I felt. 'Draco, If I do not accept then your father has the right to take my life. If you love me as you say then do this for me. I worked to hard to save my life as did my parents, please don't let me fail.'

I think the tone of pleading hit me hard as he spoke to me, but that didn't help me getting angry at the fact no feelings has been reciprocated. Why nothing back, all he thought of was his-self so why should I pay for his unhappiness or death.

It isn't fair.

'Harry, as much as that touches me,' I responded after a while, 'I do not think you understand my predicament. Harry, I love you and you do not love me, neither are you gay. Don't you understand the logic of marrying me, it would ruin us!'

'I understand you fully Draco, however I do not understand why you cannot see my point of view!' Once again those angry feelings were coming to the surface and I clenched my fists with hope of suppressing this rage within.

'That's not true Harry for I would do anything to save your life!' I spoke before I thought and was hurt as his face didn't show any emotion to my words.

'I cant promise to love you Draco but I will dedicate my life to you.'

'Then you cant marry me then can you?' I asked in defiance to the poison he was filling me with.

'How is that? Just because I cant love you?'

'Yes!' I shouted and I could feel something wet run down my cheeks.

'Draco…' He eased and I flinched at his tone, so calm and caring.

'Harry.' I warned and he backed away slightly, 'Harry I must ask you to leave.' I stated calmly.

'I have entitlement to be here as often as I wish.' He attacked back and I turned my face into a form of glare.

'If you cannot respect my feelings then why should you be here! I do not understand your logic Harry!' I pleaded silently for him to go.

Is it normal to break into tears as you watch the one thing you have ever dreamed so hard at night about, that it broke you from your dreams, whilst they stared over you with confusion and upset? Because, if it was, then I would be normal.

And silently I was the one who turned around and left my scene of permanent madness and I believe too there is no way out of what my father wishes, however I cannot expect Harry to be happy with me and therefore do not want him to marry me out of debt.

I want to see Harry happy, with babies and a beautiful wife whom he loves and not with me, sad and childless in a manor built from murder and a father slowly going as mad as his hair is going grey. And that seems to be a lot at the moment, I don't think the war did him any good.

As I walk to my room with grief setting my footsteps heavier than normal. It feels like nothing I have ever felt before, this lonely ache and desperation to have things my way.

And I do not care that I am about to see someone I love go through hell. The response from our world would be catastrophic, they would hate it or love it and either way Harry would have no peace. This sexless life of love and deceit we have to commit ourselves too is so soon around the corner.

Too soon I am on my bed and holding more thoughts than I can cope with. A way out, a way out.

Let me be the failure.

Let me be the one to hurt my father. Let me refuse. And as if I feel like my soul is in debt to Harry, for being so beautiful in nature, I feel it is my duty to end this tragic life-debt placed upon him.

I want to see him be happy, clean and healthy and not tainted by my family name.

So, if thou shall honour thy word, then let he be the death of me.