Lucas wasn't used to this sort of guilt, the kind that he had essentially brought on himself when he had made Jasmine cry. It wasn't that he wanted to take back the words that he had said, because he had meant every one of them, but using his dead brother to tear her down and shut her up hadn't been the best decision.
In that moment he hadn't known what to do – there had been a time when they were like siblings, a time when he would've tried to find some sort of way to comfort her as his little sister. But Chase had been the glue that had held them together, and when he had died, so had the bond between Lucas and Jasmine. So Lucas had gotten in his car and sped away from her, trying to leave the guilt behind as well.
He began to drive, just randomly going around town, trying to burn some of his emotions into speed, rubber, and asphalt. But as Chase and Michael and his latest confrontation with Jasmine piled up inside, it wasn't enough right then.
He turned on the radio, trying to distract himself, tuning into a country station that Chase had always chosen. The lyrics that floated out to him only worsened the pain.
Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
The song, Lucas knew, was meant to be about 9/11, but the way that it came off to Lucas was concerning Chase. His brother had committed suicide in September; so where had Lucas been then, when his brother had so desperately needed him? Obviously, he hadn't been where he was needed; helping Chase through whatever it was that had made him end his own life.
That song was a small breaking point for Lucas. He needed something else, something more to get rid of everything that was going on inside. He swung into the parking lot of his favorite sports supply store and went inside. Sometimes walking around and just dreaming was calming.
He stopped in front of a display of baseball bats and picked one up. Getting a feel for it, an idea sprouted in his mind and a salesclerk that he knew came over to talk to him. He halfway paid attention as he put the bat back and chose a wooden one.
He interrupted whatever the man was saying with, "I'll take this one." He paused for a second, looking at the bats identical to the one that he held. "Actually, I'm going to need to take all of those."
The clerk raised his eyebrows and looked after Lucas as he headed to the checkout counter. "Okay."
After leaving the store, Lucas drove out into a field in the middle of nowhere, focusing more and more on thoughts of Chase and their time together. He parked and, taking the bag of baseball bats out of the trunk of his car, he strode towards a large tree in the middle of the field. He dumped the bats onto the ground at the base of the tree, donned gloves and dark sunglasses, and picked a bat up, resolve building. He steadied himself and took a couple of small swings before putting all of his strength behind his next swing.
The bat hit the tree, splintering instantly as bark sprayed.
You weren't there for him! The thought stuck in his brain, screaming at him, breaking him as he broke bat after bat. Where were you when he needed you? You! Weren't! There! For! Him!
One by one, he destroyed the bats, until every one of them, like him, were broken.
This is what I originally sat down to right when I wrote "After the Twin Towers Fell."
FYI, the song - which inspired this one-shot - is Allen Jackson's "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)."
Please review, thanks so much! Do I need to continue trying the puppy-dog eyes on people? Will it work this time?:)